To think this is unbelievably tight for a wedding?

[StingyWedding]

Recently attending a wedding of a friend. Amongst various other issues on the day I just felt it was a very poor and stingy wedding, at the reception they had a "hot chocolate bar" - they were charging for this (and tea, and coffee....)

Photo attached which they have proudly displayed on their Facebook.

Am I wrong to think of you invite people to a wedding you actually host and therefore provide for your guests? Not expecting a free bar but some table wine and soft drinks surely?

Striptease. Charged.

Ahem...

Congratulations OP - you've made it onto the front page of the digital Daily Mail in the femail section.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4066986/Is-stingiest-wedding-Bride-groom-charge-guests-2-50-CUP-TEA.html

They've even used your photo...

As someone said earlier this is an unkind thread as the OP has essentially identified the people who's wedding it is by posting the graphic. No I don't know who's wedding it is but any of their friends on Facebook now do, and now the daily mail has the the story as they annoyingly sometimes do, so there is a pretty good chance the people who's wedding it is will have seen this and would be really upset if they did.

I really wish Mumsnet could stop the daily mail from doing this as it defeats the object of this bring an anonymous space to post your dilemmas. I'd never post anything in aibu now in case it became a really popular thread and ended up on the daily mail app. But I suspect Mumsnet likes it as it is free publicity for them.

To answer the original question, the only tea I would expect to drink at a wedding is at the end of the meal. Would I be surprised to have to order it at a bar seperately and pay for it? Yes a bit. If they had more on offer than basic teas (eg a herbal / decaf as caf tea at that time is often a bit late for me at the wedding breakfast) I'd probably prefer it. Would I be so affronted that I had to pay for tea that started a thread on Mumsnet? Of course not.

You've been a bad guest and friend, OP. If the people who's wedding it is see this thread it will ruin their wedding, as they will always be wondering which so called friend was bitchy enough to do this. If I knew who you were and it were my wedding I'd uninvite you.

stingy and tacky

Oh my gosh another story picked up by the Daily Mail!!

As many have said before, it would be easy to identify whose wedding this is and now they will now one of their guests has slagged them off on mumsnet!

Very lazy journalism from the Daily Mail, they keep doing this and I think it will eventually stop people using Mumsnet!

clueless

Totally agree with your sentiments... the OP was bitchy to start such a thread.

The only thing i disagree with is your thought that MN should stop the likes of the DM from using MN material. I'm not clear how they could do this legally. Rather MN should pull threads like this before they get going.

Just thought given that just me and DH average £150 - £200 on drinks during an all day hotel wedding reception

Wtf... you'd have spent £75 to £100 each on drinks? Am I reading that right?! Either you have very expensive tastes, the bar prices are outrageous, or you are drinking huge quantities of alcohol!

As many have said before, it would be easy to identify whose wedding this is and now they will now one of their guests has slagged them off on mumsnet!
Good!

I've always assumed that the Daily Mail features are done in collaboration with MNHQ.

MN owns the copyright and there are always direct quotes and usernames in the article.

Wtf... you'd have spent £75 to £100 each on drinks? Am I reading that right?! Either you have very expensive tastes, the bar prices are outrageous, or you are drinking huge quantities of alcohol

Not really. In those shitty hotels people like to get married in, a G&T will be over £10. Over the course of a 10 hour stint 2pm to midnight it is not unreasonable to have 1 drink an hour, costing £100.

£25 a bottle of wine, a few bottles between two over the course of the day... that's not outrageous quantities.

A few bottles each is pretty outrageous surely ? I'd be comatosed

Exactly... 3-4 bottles of wine each or 10 large gins works out at 20 units!.... clearly I'm a lightweight!

Made news site here in NZ (link to Daily Fail story too)

We had a free bar by having the wedding in a field and buying alcohol at a bulk buy shop and hiring a couple of bar staff. People spend enough money on travel, accommodation, outfits and presents without having to buy drinks when they're a captive audience anyway!

derxa

How is naming and shaming in this way in any way constructive or healthy. If charging for tea is shitty, doing this is shitty x10.

Banana People might start treating their guests properly

I wonder if StingyWedding's original post was genuine?

The original post was a bit odd. After all, it was a friend's wedding. It was a bit off to put up the wedding poster if the post was genuine as it could have identified the wedding in question.

I can't help but wonder if the original post was planted to generate a response and a story in the Daily Fail? In this situation, it is more understandable why the poster was put up. The poster would draw more attention to the thread and would generate more reaction.

I don't see why posting this is such a shitty thing to do- after all this is basically what AIBU thrives on and I stand by the fact that advertising and charging over the odds for teas and coffees at a wedding, an event you have invited people to and are hosting, is just appalling. If me pointing that out and drawing attention to that makes others feel defensive and insecure then so be it.

That DM article is so dull. It gas no substance - it doesn't even describe the thread well.

Ridiculous. Of course you supply food and non alcoholic drinks. It's totally acceptable to not include alcohol, although many wedding functions do supply wine.

This is really not on. Hope they were up front about it all.

When at college two friends got married who had little money. We did a kind of being and share buffet. It worked really well. Home grown entertainment, the car provides by a friend with a posh car. It worked brilliantly and no one was expected to pay out on the day but to contribute in kind to the whole wedding 'effort'. I personally think that idea works better.

Bring and share!

Ha, lots of misreads! The first mine: I think a few bottles of wine between two is fine. Then got on my high horse when a couple of you seemed to switch my statement to that quantity each. Then reread original premise which yes, is more like three bottles each.

Anyway, £200 per couple on drinks at an all day wedding is still not outrageous. As I say, a few bottles of wine. A few G&Ts each. A round for the wedding party (and I'd ensure it's something special). It goes.

How awful

I really hope the couple don't see this thread.

What an absolutely horrible thread.
You must be mortified op as you have dragged a friends wedding into public scrutiny like this.

What a truly horrible thing to do.