To think this is unbelievably tight for a wedding?

[StingyWedding]

Recently attending a wedding of a friend. Amongst various other issues on the day I just felt it was a very poor and stingy wedding, at the reception they had a "hot chocolate bar" - they were charging for this (and tea, and coffee....)

Photo attached which they have proudly displayed on their Facebook.

Am I wrong to think of you invite people to a wedding you actually host and therefore provide for your guests? Not expecting a free bar but some table wine and soft drinks surely?

I've been to loads of weddings where no drinks are provided other than with the meal. But to actually advertise it and charging £2.50 for a cup of tea is daylight robbery.

PurpleMinion: You only plan to get married once, do people seriously expect the bride and groom to forego a nicer wedding just so they, their guest, can get pissed and or have hot chocolate for free?

Yes. It's called being a good host. If all you care about is the nicer wedding, perhaps do without the guests altogether? They're obviously an inconvenience

I'm not sure what your point is there dingdong, the guests were given food and drinks. Why are you trying to compare it to not being provided with anything?

Some people don't care about the flowers, others don't care about free hot chocolate.

I've never bitched about a wedding without a free bar. Why would you?? . I went to two lovely weddings last year (neither with a free bar) where we were given drinks on arrival, fed, had wine on the table and fizz to toast. One had free flip flops and a selection of toiletries in the ladies room, which i thought was a lovely touch, but clearly i should have gone home and bitched about the provision of flip flops instead of a free bar? Despite otherwise being well looked after and having a lovely time???? Ok then!

Nasty putting it on here... if you don't like it bitch about it in the car on the way home like normal people.

But maybe bitching about it here will prevent future brides and grooms from doing the same.I see a lot of, "Everyone said they loved my wedding." Maybe they didn't and just bitched about it in the car on the way home.

I'm obviously just lucky enough to mix in circles where theres a bit more give and take in life. You can be a good host and not provide everything for free, they aren't mutually exclusive. If that's the case why aren't the happy couples expected to pay for all the hotel rooms? All the transport? Which reminds me, we had free transport at a wedding, no free bar though, what awful hosts

Transport and things aren't expected, nor is accommodation. As someone said above, you wouldn't charge for people to drink at a dinner or party or similar, why would this be different?

YANBU. It is tight OP.

Well, I am old enough to remember weddings before all the extras started to be added on.
Is hot chocolate a 'thing' at weddings these days? If not, the couple were being u adding it and expecting guests to pay. It could easily have been left out and no one would have missed it.
But to those saying £2.50 is outrageous for a cup of tea! I imagine it's at least that in most mid range hotels.

Shocked at so many here saying they've never bene to a wedding with a free/open bar?? Out of say 30 weddings I've been to, maybe 5 were a paid bar/lack of free flowing wine, remember all of them and the couples involved and what a disappointment this was. Makes a massive difference when you dont have to queue at a bar and dig around in your wallet all night. To charge for hot drinks and publicise this as some sort of cute hot choccie stand is poor taste and just odd.

£2.50 for a cuppa thats more expesive thsn Costa

Never been to a wedding where I've had to pay however this is a pretty classless post

I don't understand why you went, OP, or why you remain in contact with people you know to be tight. Why bother? Sure as hell wouldn't go to a wedding where I had to pay £2.50 for a cuppa. More fool you for going and lining their cheap pockets.

"You only plan to get married once, do people seriously expect the bride and groom to forego a nicer wedding just so they, their guest, can get pissed and or have hot chocolate for free? "

??

Entirely depends on what one considers a nice wedding.

There are plenty of newlyweds around who would consider hosting a generous party for their guests to constitute a nice wedding, and who would prioritise catering for people who might have travelled for miles over flowers or £3000 dresses or whatevs.

So the host expected their guests to stay at the party, normally lasting for a few hours, without providing any drink? However gave free flip flops?

that's just weird. We are back on the tacky wedding, where people are more trying to show off than welcoming their guests.

'Might' have being a key word.

I said we were provided arrival drinks, wine on the table and fizz for toasting. How is that NOT providing any drink?

Yes, providing toiletries in case your guests forgot anything or need anything last minute and providing flip flops in case their feet get sore in their heels they might or might not have bought especially for your wedding is soooo selfish and not about your guests comfort at all .

PurpleMinionMummy

All the weddings I have been to had toiletries in the ladies bathrooms (mine included)- I'll have to ask my husband if there is anything in the mens' ones. I didn't realise that was something so ground breaking.

I am sure my dad and grand mother would have been delighted with a pair of free flip flops but not even a cup of tea

I had toiletry baskets in both the male and females loos. And a free bar.

Tbf I love it when I get flip flops for the evening reception so I can dance without my feet burning

I would forsake all the sweetie bars,photo booths, fairground rides, hot chocolate stands, flip flops and toiletries, things I neither need or want for some decent food, a glass of fizz for the toast and plenty of non alcoholic drinks throughout a wedding

I think it's tight, OP.
I did provide a free bar at my wedding (albeit at our flat, followed by a evening do at a social club, so comparitively cheap and cheerful). Most of the weddings I've been to have had free bars, or unlimited wine at the table, but that seems to be traditional amongst working class londoners.
It's not about 'expecting free drink', it's about being hospitable after people have taken the trouble to attend. (usually involving some travel, booking time off work, buying a wedding present, etc etc).
Having said that, cash bars appear to be the norm nowadays, so I wouldn't be surprised by that. Charging for a cup of tea is a step too far, IMO. If you can't provide a cuppa for your guests then you don't deserve to have any.

Free flip flops? Why? People just take their shoes off if their feet are sore.

I've never heard of this flip flop thing but I wouldn't wear them anyway. I go to too much trouble with my wedding outfit to spoil it all wearing bloody flip flops.

Wow all these free bars😮

I'm 39 so have been to my fair share of weddings - at least 4-5 a year and have NEVER been to a wedding with a free bar!!!!!

Table wine/tea coffe during meal yes but nothing at the reception

I wander if it's a regional thing? Though I honestly have family that be live all over and don't know anyone who's been to a paid bar too. Most weddings I've been to have in average 200 adult guests at the receptiin - that's a hell of a bar bill!