To think this is unbelievably tight for a wedding?

[StingyWedding]

Recently attending a wedding of a friend. Amongst various other issues on the day I just felt it was a very poor and stingy wedding, at the reception they had a "hot chocolate bar" - they were charging for this (and tea, and coffee....)

Photo attached which they have proudly displayed on their Facebook.

Am I wrong to think of you invite people to a wedding you actually host and therefore provide for your guests? Not expecting a free bar but some table wine and soft drinks surely?

I am not a fan at all, but a few weddings invite more people for the reception only. Are these guests not offered a drink then?

I've been to loads if reception only and never been offered one either - I'm from Lancashire and it's really not normal to be given a drink at the evening do. Most people here have say 60/70 in the day and another 100 or so at night

buttercup most of the weddings I've been to have been in London/southeast, so it could be a regional thing.
I don't think I've been to a wedding with 200 guests, they've been much smaller. I think the biggest has been about 100. The last one had about 15 guests and we had a lovely meal, with as much drink as we wanted.
To be fair, it's kind of a tradition for the father of the bride (and perhaps the father of the groom, as well) to put their hands in their pockets and contribute to the bar.

See here most people I know have paid for their own wedding with contributions from both sets of parents. Most average 15-20k even without the free bar

dingdong I've never been to an evening do with drinks provided, I wouldn't expect food or drink at an evening reception, although some have provided a bacon buttie or similar.

And as for what would be provided if you invited someone to a dinner party, tap water is pretty standard in my family as we arn't big drinkers and most people would be driving home anyway.

Ok I'll sort out tea for later then as its not long gone in!!

Ha ha oh no that was meant to be a text!😜

Oh, dear god! I'm so glad all my friends are married now. Flip flops, sweetie bars, photo booths, toiletries and £2.50 for a cup of tea. There have been plenty of posts on here from people who went to weddings with no food, over a meal time or two, in the middle of nowhere so they couldn't go get food, and still other posters who bring food with them in case there isn't any or where the only food on offer is bowls of sweets and cake.

Just basic hospitality seems to be secondary to having 'the big day'.

Just thought given that just me and DH average £150 - £200 on drinks during an all day hotel wedding reception (and our friends are all similar) surely these paid bars must cost tens of thousands of pounds?!

'dingdong I've never been to an evening do with drinks provided, I wouldn't expect food or drink at an evening reception, although some have provided a bacon buttie or similar.'

Not even a glass of fizz upon arrival or a sandwich? Wow, that's pretty tight.

buttercup I wouldn't have dreamt of spending anything like that. Most of the weddings I've been to were 20- 30 years ago, where it was fine to have your reception in a social club or function room.
bananagreen it there's no food or drink provided then it's not really a reception, is it? It's just a normal night out.
And why just tap water, at what is supposed to be a special ocassion? Ok, you might not like alcohol but surely some of your guests do? And if they're teetotal then why wouldn't they want a drink that actually tastes of something?
I just can't see anything remotely enjoyable about your scenario.

£2.50 is nothing I went to a wedding where they charged £4.50 for a cup of tea! I don't mind paying for alcohol but to not provide a free hot drink for guests is just rude!

I'd have left and taken my gift with me, panda. Bet they put out they only wanted money as a gift, too.

I am still speechless about reception-only guests not offered a drink. Why bothering inviting them at all?

I've always believed that if you invite someone to an event as your guest, you pay for their food, drink and entertainment.

That aside, I don't understand why a poster advertising drinks for sale would include the misleading line 'Please Help Yourself'.

dingdong possibly in the hope of receiving more presents?. That's the only reason I can think of.

It was family expat so I had to be polite. My nan couldn't believe It! I think some people just don't think about the details. The bride and groom were big party people and probably don't realise a lot of guests would want a hot drink. They chose a fancy hotel for the venue so we all had to pay fancy hotel prices for drinks!

I've never expected a free drink at an evening reception. Some food yes, but I'd expect to buy my own drinks. I'd rather be invited and not get a drink, than not be invited because the hosts couldn't afford to buy me a drink.

I wouldn't have a massive problem with £2.50 tea being available as long as I could get something else to drink for free - I would just choose not to buy the tea. But I would be annoyed if all the drinks cost me money, given that I would need to drink something during the wedding (assuming it was all day).

I didn't have a free bar at my wedding, because I didn't want to pay for people to get drunk (having been to a wedding before mine where there were people throwing up everywhere, someone unconscious, a massive fight outside). We did, however, provide drinks on tables during the meal and free non-alcoholic drinks throughout the evening, including tea/coffee.

dingdong because they enjoy our company and we understand that they can't afford to pay for us but are honoured to share their celebration and wish them well. Gifts are not expected. Where I work it is pretty standard to invite collegues who may not be close friends in this capacity. Personally I love to go and see the happy couple and wish them well, with no expectations of food and drink, there is often entertainment put on to enjoy too. Most evening invitations are for 7pm onwards anyway so people will have had their evening meal before coming out and won't need food.

qumquat exactly

The only alcohol free wedding I've been to was a Muslim one

But there was plenty of food and nonalcoholic drinks - one of the most hospitable dos I've ever attended

Excellent a 'you'll have had your tea' wedding reception. There will undoubtedly have been many guests grumbling in the car on the way home because they were expecting some kind of food.

Where I come from a you'll have had your tea attitude is looked upon very poorly indeed.

trusysnail I thought that but if you click on the pic it actually says help yourself to our range of toppings. So you can fill your boots on sprinkles and marshmallows, once you have coughed up for the drinks.