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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if there are any careers you discourage your kids from doing?

350 replies

malificent7 · 22/12/2016 17:29

Dd told my dad and i that she wanted to work in Harrods when she grows up... she is 8!

My dad told her she shouldnt work in a shop. She also wants to be a model, pop star, vet... the usual.
My parents basically wanted us to be doctors and duscouraged anytjing else.
I rebelled and did teaching am now a TA.

Aibu to ask how much you want to influence your kids career decisions.

Also aibu to think there is nowt wrong with working in Harrods! Smile

OP posts:
Nameforsaken · 22/12/2016 17:39

At the moment my ds is 7 and I go along with anything he wants to be. I'd never discourage, no matter how outlandish it is....

Tbh, at 7 it changes all the time.
But I do give some realistic positive & negative too. Like recently he's wanted to be a bin man. I say cool, I think they get paid quite a bit, but it's dirty work. Then a train driver, so I said again good money bit it's shift work so you might have to work nights etc.

He currently wants to be a stormtrooper. Which I've just said cool to!

SVJAA · 22/12/2016 17:40

DP is ex army and a war veteran, the thought of my kids being in a war zone makes my blood run cold. So as proud as I am of DP, I will attempt to discourage our kids from joining up.

ihatethecold · 22/12/2016 17:40

Policing and teaching.

Champagneformyrealfriends · 22/12/2016 17:41

Hmmm, after 12 years in retail I would actively discourage her away from that, purely because it's pretty shit pay and rubbish hours, but if it was what she really wanted to do then I'd support her.

KnittedBlanketHoles · 22/12/2016 17:41

My mum wouldn't let me say anything other than that I wanted to be a surgeon when I grew up, still goes on about the money she spent on my education. I'm currently a... Nothing.

I'm trying to get my DD interested in following her interests in a way that also earns money. Guess we'll find out if that tactic works any better. At the moment she doesn't seem interested in a career but she's very young so things might change between now and retirement.

A lot of value of places on the title and earnings of a person's job in our culture. Too much IMO. So while I don't have a title at the moment I feel like a nothing whereas when I was a company director I felt confident and a worthwhile member of society.

SausageSoda · 22/12/2016 17:42

I wouldn't want mine to be in the army or the police. Both are very worthwhile jobs undertaken by heros but you put your life on the line for feck all money or thanks.

Gardencentregroupie · 22/12/2016 17:43

I'm a police officer. I would hate for my children to do this job and would discourage them as strongly as possible. I wouldn't be over keen on them joining the armed forces either. Basically I don't want my PFB and PSB getting hurt by nasty people! Beyond that they can do whatever suits them, I will be proud so long as they work hard at whatever they do.

G1raffePicnic · 22/12/2016 17:44

I dont discourage anything she says at the moment but I would strongly discourage army or teaching!!

Knitted - I was a high achiever academically but I feel the same as you. I now live in a low income area and see people much happier and living locally to where they grew up, close to family, in trades etc!

pipsqueak25 · 22/12/2016 17:44

mali what is wrong with shop work? it might not be a dream job but it's a wage and having a sense of purpose in life, sorry but people who say urgh to shop work, bar staff etc are total knobs in my book.
i used to be a nurse, not the first choice i'd want for my dc, long hours, over worked, very stressful.
apart from that my dc are encouraged to do what ever they want to employment wise, as long as it keeps a roof over their heads etc

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 22/12/2016 17:45

I would prefer my boys to 'get a trade', tbh but I'll support them whatever they choose (as long as it's legal Grin)

JenLindleyShitMom · 22/12/2016 17:46

I grew up with parents (dad in particular) who would snort and sneer at any career suggestions I came up with. As a result I became a person who hadn't a single clue what I wanted to do and still don't and I still have his voice in my head saying "you couldn't do that".

So I don't discourage my DC from any career. Even though their ambitions Change on a weekly basis I get very excited with them every time they suggest something and we talk about how much fun it would be.

Grumpbum · 22/12/2016 17:46

Just the army I think

lovelearning · 22/12/2016 17:46

To wonder if there are any careers you discourage your kids from doing?

debt collector
banker
death row executioner

pipsqueak25 · 22/12/2016 17:47

knitted consider me boxing your ears - hard ! you are a parent, the hardest job in the world, stop putting yourself down !

SirSidneyRuffDiamond · 22/12/2016 17:48

You know OP I was at university with a woman who went on to become a buyer for Harrods. She was paid well and travelled overseas quite a bit as part of her job. It was a pretty good job and she only left because she set up her own retail business. She is worth a lot of money now she is in her late 40s.

Gardencentregroupie · 22/12/2016 17:48

I think that unless you're madly keen to make it big in finance or something, then getting a trade is the best way forward. Anyone I ever talk to bemoans how hard it is to get a painter/plastered/electrician/ plumber/heating engineer etc.

VilootShesCute · 22/12/2016 17:48

Ds wanted to be a milkman for years. Sorry, son, not something that'll be around in 10 years when you are in work!

unlessyousay · 22/12/2016 17:49

It's an interesting question but no, I don't think so. I might gently try to get consider something more realistic if they were 17 and still convinced they were going to be a dancer or singer or something though.

HeadDreamer · 22/12/2016 17:49

Nothing wrong with shop work except that it's low pay. Children don't know how much jobs pay. But why earn less for the same number of hours worked when you can get more? More higher paying jobs aren't more stressful, don't need shift, more flexible, can take a lunch break whoever you like, etc.

RitchyBestingFace · 22/12/2016 17:49

Strangely I would hate my sons to be in the police but am less bothered about the armed forces.

My biggest concern is they choose a profession that is as future-proofed as possible against AI and the changing labour market.

SignOnTheWindow · 22/12/2016 17:50

DD (7) told me today that she wanted to be a 'YouTuber' Hmm

FlyingElbows · 22/12/2016 17:50

My children are free to do whatever they want... apart from joining the army. I wasn't allowed to do what I wanted so I will never stand in their way but I would strongly object to them joining the armed forces.

HeadDreamer · 22/12/2016 17:51

Buyer at Harrods is different from what my kids think of as working in a shop. I would imagine that's the bit people might discourage from getting into retail.

mmgirish · 22/12/2016 17:51

I wouldn't want them to do anything that would bring them fame...

RitchyBestingFace · 22/12/2016 17:52

Also you don't know what the jobs of the future are - my job didn't exist when I was at university and won't exist when my DCs are.

Funnily enough I think milkmen are more likely to exist than train drivers in the future - given the home delivery growth. (Or milk drones maybe!)

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