To not want to go skiing

[Leanback]

Dp and his family love skiing, and dp has gone most years since he was about 12 with them.

I've never been skiing, I'm not a very active person and it's not something that really appeals to me. Me and dp have agreed that if I was to try it we would go with mutual friends, some of whom had never been skiing before either and some who are more experienced like dp. I do feel nervous about going but I feel if I had someone to learn with I'd feel better about the situation.

Dp's family keep trying to convince me to go with them. I've polietrly declined each time and for the last couple of years I've been studying for my masters and so can use that as a reason for not attending as I can't get the time away. I think this has annoyed them, and dp did admit to me that his df thinks I should just suck it up and go for 'family'. Every time we see them they badger me about going even though I have said I don't want to. Dp has no issues with me not going so I don't understand why his parents do.

Aibu? Should I just go for the sake of family relations?

Good point, Limited - if anyone does fancy trying it in a group and many of the others can ski, pick the resort really carefully - lots of them are basic. Pick somewhere big and older, not a purpose built place, with other stuff going on.

I'm totally going to Hemel while I'm off next week after this thread.

If it's not your thing, then it's not your thing and they need to accept that

This ^

Try it and see how you feel about it. You may like it or you may not. As others have said a lot depends on what you can enjoy if you get there and don't like skiing.

In case you do enjoy it and would try it again, don't let their hobby dictate yours or any dc future holidays.....cos it sounds like they would condition/encourage any dc into this too.

Mind you, it might get too expensive for dh to afford to have his own skiing holiday/hobby each year if dc come along.....

I think the point is though that the OP has been pretty clear that she doesn't feel she would enjoy it and all this 'oh go ongoongoon try it once you might enjoy it' is exactly the kind of pressure and refusal to accept her feelings and the fact she knows her own mind which is pissing her off.

I got the same behaviour towards me about skiing and it pissed me off too.

This thread is the perfect example of what the OP is complaining about!

She has said to the ILs that she doesnt want to go and they wont drop it. On MN she has said that she doesnt want to go, or at least not with the ILs and people are telling her to go as she will love it.

How do you know she will love it?! The OP knows what she will or will not love, no one else. I know I would hate skiing for very similar reasons as a PP posted above, I fucking hate lugging stuff around and being cold, knackered and risking serious injury is not my idea of a holiday. So sue me! I am not saying no one else should ever ski, so why do skiers insist that everyone else would love it if they would just try it? Do what you want, just stop telling me to do it too!

And skiing is fucking expensive. You can have a real luxury holiday somewhere with lots of art and museums and architecture and history, which is my ideal, with the same money as a couple of weeks in a basic ski resort. Yet you dont find me telling anyone on this thread to sack off the salopettes and get to the Sistine Chapel do you?!

X Post Boli only you were far more succinct (and less ranty!) than me :o

Go as a non skier, there are many more ways to enjoy the mountains in winter than just skiing. I've 'done' downhill skiing (many times, probably rated as a decent intermediate) however have decided it's not for me. However I love going to a snowy resort and trying all the other activities on offer .

So going skiing (if you don't ski) is like going on a AI and spend your time getting drunk, except instead of sitting around a pool, you're looking at snow? Yet those types of holidays are condemned across MN.

I suppose one bonus is you don't have to worry about what you look like in a swimsuit.

This thread isn't about skiing or the type of holiday

It's about the op not wanting to go on holiday with the in laws. Which is a different question!!

bogey Great minds!

If you aren't skiing, there is very little to do in most ski resorts that couldn't be done in an average UK town. Sometimes there is much less. With good company and the right resort and hotel it could be OK, but you can spend a week sitting in cafes at home.

That's what I mean dragons. I think all the people talking about log fires are assuming the hotel/chalet will be charming and fairly expensive.

I hated it, but I'd be tempted to say, go one time, then you can decide. If there's a dry ski slope or real slope nearby, try that first. I frankly shit my pants being at the top of a mountain with only orange plastic fencing stopping me going over the edge. At least if you try, he can't say you haven't given it a go.

Saying that, I have a hobby that the dh said he was never going to be into and he's right, never even vaguely interested, gives me 'me time', win, win.

So going skiing (if you don't ski) is like going on a AI and spend your time getting drunk, except instead of sitting around a pool, you're looking at snow?

Except that a half decent AI will cost you half what it costs to go not-skiing!

I showed dp this thread and he had a good laugh. We're gonna go to the chill factore near Manchester sometime in the next couple of months I think.

We've decided our next big holiday will be Mexico which costs the same amount as a weeks skiing so the in-laws are just going to have to deal with that. It's somewhere we've both always wanted to go and has the right amount of cultural experiences mixed with relaxing which is more my idea of a good break.

MARRY HIM!

Do it in Mexico!

A man who has your back is worth his weight in gold and should be married asap! Or frozen in carbonite. Marriage is probably easier though. :o

The in laws will be fine without you. They may even make some friends their own age!

As a non skier I do quite like the alpine air and have taken myself up mountains in gondolas, to great restaurants and on fantastic train journeys. Even to Salzburg and some lovely towns in Switzerland.

I was persuaded to go originally by DH and our children because we were friendly with another family where the Mum was a non skier too. We'll have a great time, us two non-skiers I thought. Except the other Mum shut herself in her hotel room for hours doing embroidery! I might as well have been on my own. My DH and children met another family and we ended up having more of a fun time with them!

We went with the same original friends again a few years later. This time, the other Mum decided to see friends (who go on a transatlantic embroidery course) in San Francisco first. Not that she told me until well after I had made all the arrangements, so I spent yet another 3/4 days on my own in Whistler. That was the end of our non-skiing relationship. I said never again.

Just a thought - you could go and just be a moaning Minnie for a week and really bring down their holiday.

Aaahh... well if the alternative was going to be MEXICO !!!

Have a lovely time OP.

'My ILs are controlling by asking me to join them on their holiday. I know I won't like it though I have never been, because my mother said I won't like it.'
Don't waste MNs time then asking their opinion, just ask your mother what you should do about all new experiences.

It was about 50/50 that I was BU so I don't see how I've wasted mumsnets time. If everyone said I was BU then It would be a different story .

Besides if I actually enjoy it when I go with dp in the U.K. I will probably go on the next family ski trip.

I'm going skiing tomorrow.
It took me years and years to learn to ski as I hated falling over, I hated taking risks, I was scared all the time... I stuck with it and now have moments of sheer joy ☺
But what I love most is seeing my children enjoy it. Seeing my husband enjoy it. Spending time together doing an activity, even if people are all going different speeds 🙈
It's all about the resort as to the experience other than skiing. If it's some busy touristy place you'll get a different experience to a more local place. Where do they ski? France is so much worse for non skiers imo than Austria/Switzerland.
Things I do when not skiing...
Drink coffee, read, have a massage, go to the spa (there's two in the local place we go to - one for families and a delicious adult only one), walk, climb, take a cable car and meet people up a mountain for lunch, visit local places (we found a salt museum in Salzburg one year that was remarkably fun!), go for a sleigh ride, go snow shoeing, learn to drive a husky sled (that was Canada!). One of the best "ski holidays" I had was when I was 7 months pregnant and couldn't ski at all 😂
I wish, wish, wish though I'd had a headstart at learning to ski before we had children. Don't think you can learn with them as they bloody overtake you within one week.
Personally I think you are overthinking the whole thing (and fwiw, you so could have gone and studied for your masters there just as easily in the past). VERY normal to see University students, A level students and the odd GCSE student studying on an evening or lunchtimes in the hotels. When I did school ski trips, the best students took their books with them.

I couldn't have studied there as I was on a work placement both times they went.

They go to different resorts every year so I don't have a clue where they ski. France and sometimes Austria I think.