To not want to go skiing

[Leanback]

Dp and his family love skiing, and dp has gone most years since he was about 12 with them.

I've never been skiing, I'm not a very active person and it's not something that really appeals to me. Me and dp have agreed that if I was to try it we would go with mutual friends, some of whom had never been skiing before either and some who are more experienced like dp. I do feel nervous about going but I feel if I had someone to learn with I'd feel better about the situation.

Dp's family keep trying to convince me to go with them. I've polietrly declined each time and for the last couple of years I've been studying for my masters and so can use that as a reason for not attending as I can't get the time away. I think this has annoyed them, and dp did admit to me that his df thinks I should just suck it up and go for 'family'. Every time we see them they badger me about going even though I have said I don't want to. Dp has no issues with me not going so I don't understand why his parents do.

Aibu? Should I just go for the sake of family relations?

trixy I don't think it's childish not to " give things a go"

I know myself well enough to predict when I won't enjoy an activity.

I wouldn't go on a pheasant shoot as killing animals for fun hold no appeal.
I dislike heights, so I wouldn't try skydiving or bungee jumping.
I am not keen on horses, so horse riding is not for me, I am averse to high risk sports like motor racing, adrenalin is not my poison, so that's not something I would try either,

I don't see why that makes me childish, if fact I think that makes me quite grown up, to know myself well enough not to waste time

Exactly limited. She isn't refusing to go bowling. Personally I don't think I would like to go on a cruise. I might be wrong, but I'm not going to spend hundreds of pounds finding out.

I hate skiing (have done it and was quite good but decided I didn't enjoy it). We go skiing as a family and I just spend the time reading, eating pancakes and just generally relaxing! There are other things to do as well.

To me it doesn't sound like it is about the skiing - you just don't want to go on holiday with his family.

Hi OP. Nrtft, but I so relate to your post. Unfortunately, I went on a skiing trip. I hated every second of it. It was hard work, traipsing to the slopes with all you gear. I am not very adventurous and this 'holiday' was shit. I didn't enjoy it and decided not to go skiing anymore. The days were boring as fuck. In a resort so absolutely nothing to do. Sat in my room watching 64 Zoo Lane and ariel sharon being in a coma (only english tv). Apres ski was poor. Everyone was knackered from the days ski, whilst I was rested and ready to party. I would never go skiing again. Sore shins from the boots. Too much like hard work. Not fun. If you know you won't enjoy it, don't go, because the reality is far worse than you can imagine. Someone said beautiful scenery etc. It's boring after a couple of days. I would never go again. Quite happy for dh to go with others as he enjoyed it. But me - never again.

OP I hear you and I would hate this too. Not just the skiing (which I have never done but yes, if I went with friends who were beginners too I might enjoy it) but the family "fun". As an introvert, spending evenings in a big noisy group playing games is my idea of hell. And a certain kind of people are very smug about how good they are at skiing/sailing, in my experience.

So you've got two options: don't go, and don't care what they think of you. Or go, try skiing (which won't be with them, so you won't feel under pressure while you're actually doing it) and if you don't like it you can spend the day by yourself with a fat novel and a hot chocolate. And when they come in from the slopes, tell them what a lovely day you've had reading a book.

Can you go once, and if you hate it then that can be your excuse everyyear " I tried it and I don't like it"
it is your DP's family and its nice they want you to come :-)

Is there something about being in a ski resort that makes hot chocolate and reading really good?

Wet feet?

Is there something about being in a ski resort that makes hot chocolate and reading really good?

Nope.

MM

I don't even bleeding like hot drinks

I was in this position - except DH was also keen I gave it a go. I was really reluctant scared of breaking my neck. I have hypermobile joints and can't ski (or do anything active) for long as I get very sore. Despite this, I really loved it. So much so, I'm going again next year, even though I'll likely have a little one in tow. We split skiing and childcare with DD (who at 5 is now a more confident skier than I am!) between PiL, DH and I - we all get to do most of what we want.

What made it great? We went to a lovely resort with loads of walking, climbing, a spa in the hotel...it was a beautiful place. I skied in the mornings and walked/spa/chilled with a book enjoying cake and hot choc in the afternoons. Some days I'd go back out to meet for apres ski halfway up the mountain and ski home, other times we'd meet at the bottom.

Don't knock it until you've tried it.My mum also told me I'd hate it. What she meant was that she'd hated it.

Before kids, a holiday with lots of TIME to do very little was a bit of a mystery to me. Now it's a dream holiday. Given that you're not in that position, I can see how it wouldn't motivate you much! But even TIME can pall if you're a resort you don't like, potentially in accommodation you wouldn't have chosen, and either alone or surrounded by people talking about something you have no interest in.

The OP isn't choosing the resort. Some resorts are a bit like staying in one of the a hotels near Heathrow. The skiing might be great, but nobody is there for the resort.

Also, most people would make big compromises to enable their children to do an activity they love. The OP doesn't have children.

From the sounds of it, the OP won't have much choice about sores ski either.

What if OP had posted this:

'My in laws have invited me to join them on their annual holiday lying on a Greek beach in August. They like to compare tans, bikinis and race around on jet skis.

'There's one cousin who always ridicules people who are pasty.

'I hate the heat, always burn, feel self conscious being semi naked in public and will be bored out of my skull.'

Everyone would be saying that they'd also hate to go on holiday with these philistines and tell OP to make comments about melanoma and skin like leather.

I don't even bleeding like hot drinks

Me neither Leanback. I also detest mulled wine.

I'm going on a fucking skiing holiday at the end of February. I hate skiing for all the same reasons as you OP but DP's Swiss and he can ski a bit, and he'd like the kids to be able to as well so I'm going to grin and bear it and spend a lot of time in the pool while he faffs about with them on the slopes. I was going to say you could do similar OP, as long as they didn't seem like the sorts who would take the piss out of you for not joining in, and then I saw "Dick of the Day". I wouldn't go skiing with folk like that even if I liked skiing.

As someone who once felt very similar to you and totally get where you are coming from, I urge you to give it a go.

I found it much more enjoyable than I ever anticipated. It does require a little work to get 'good' enough to enjoy it, but once past that point i've never looked back and go every year now.

Apres ski.

'Sores' ski was auto correct!

My dh's family don't do holidays I like. But it's his family and he wants to spend the time with them so we go. i just make sure I maintain my boundaries. We also do holidays with my family which I'm sure dh wouldn't choose to do.

I'd be pissed off if my dh refused to come on a family holiday because he didn't think he'd like it. At least give it a go once - you can try a different activity if you follow by want to do skiing. Being in the mountains can be quite nice without doing a winter sport!

My DH & DS have discussed going on skiing holidays as they are both very sporty and active.

I, on the other hand, would rather eat the contents of the cats litter tray than spend a week being cold, wet and completely miserable. Plus I'm riddled with Arthritis too which the cold aggravates, so I win. Although I'm more than happy for them to toddle off for a weeks skiing holiday while I head for the sun!

OP, you have my sympathies. DH skis and I don't which he is fine with.

He used to have some friends who also skied and they absolutely hounded us about going on a ski holiday with them. I said that it was fine with me if DH went alone, but they just wouldn't accept it and kept asking. The problem was that they somehow decided in their heads that it was me being unreasonable and refusing to allow DH to do the thing he liked.

So they asked more aggressively, and offered increasingly bonkers inducements for me to come along, like they would invite one of their non-skiing aunties and gran to come and sit with with me all day while they were out (WTAF). Skiing really isn't my thing but I might have gone for DH's sake if it was a group of mixed abilities (and some friends I liked but that's another story).

It came to a head when we were out for dinner one night and one of the the guysurned to me apropos of nothing and demanded to know why I was ruining their holiday and DH's by being such a mean, selfish cow about not wanting to go. I was . I had to be really really blunt as I was sick of the asking by this time and fortunately DH fell out with them over something unrelated a few months later.

Your experience is sounding very familiar BolivarAtasco. I have never been badgered to go on a beach holiday but I've lost count of the number of people who say of ski holidays: 'But you'll really enjoy it and even if you don't like skiing you can look at the mountains or curl up with a book and a mug of hot chocolate by a roaring fire until everyone else gets home.'

I think it's something they put in the gluwein

i am a skier. i love it.

but yanbu. it's not for everyone. you are a grown up. u know of u want to going skiing or not. it's very easy to love skiing when you went to your first ski school at 2yo, and grew up skiing 2 weeks a year, doing the horrible learning bit when you are too young to care about falling over.
i went snow boarding 6 years ago, and hated it. i was cold, bored and fell over 800 times... i went cos dh can't ski but he can board a bit so we figured it'd be better if we both were beginners. it was pants.

don't do it. if they don't respect that u don't wanna go, they won't respect if you want to do ski school/lie in bed all day, they'll just think you should do it their way. i know this cos my dad is that nobhead...

people are right, the apres is brilliant but i wouldn't wanna sit about all day on my own for a few hours drinking and dancing.

Swerve the skiing, get on the gluhwein & enjoy