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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to go skiing

369 replies

Leanback · 20/12/2016 22:58

Dp and his family love skiing, and dp has gone most years since he was about 12 with them.

I've never been skiing, I'm not a very active person and it's not something that really appeals to me. Me and dp have agreed that if I was to try it we would go with mutual friends, some of whom had never been skiing before either and some who are more experienced like dp. I do feel nervous about going but I feel if I had someone to learn with I'd feel better about the situation.

Dp's family keep trying to convince me to go with them. I've polietrly declined each time and for the last couple of years I've been studying for my masters and so can use that as a reason for not attending as I can't get the time away. I think this has annoyed them, and dp did admit to me that his df thinks I should just suck it up and go for 'family'. Every time we see them they badger me about going even though I have said I don't want to. Dp has no issues with me not going so I don't understand why his parents do.

Aibu? Should I just go for the sake of family relations?

OP posts:

supermoon100 · 22/12/2016 11:52

Like others have said you really can't say for sure you won't like it until you try it. I am also a non skier but I would love it if my ils invited me to the slopes, whether I ended up skiing or not. Isn't life about trying new things?

Kitchenaide · 22/12/2016 12:03

I thought for years it wasn't my thing as I'm not very sporty. Tried it once I realised my children were old enough to learn and love it even though I'm still crap. And have the indignity of watching them get better than me one after the other while I never seem to improve... don't knock it til youve tried it OP. Even if you don't there is a lot to be said for chalet holidays in the snow, hot chocolate and a good book.

farfarawayfromhome · 22/12/2016 12:11

I always wanted to go skiing. Then I went. Absolutely HATED it.

Yes, views, blue sky etc are lovely.

But I'm not great with heights, hated queueing for the ski lifts in a masssive rabble (felt like the tube) hated the clothes, hated the ski boots...so uncomf rtable and heavy.

Everyone else could ski so i was on my own a lot of the time as they were all off doing proper runs whilst I was on the baby slope....with small children whizzing past confidently and star jumping over my head...it was lonely and miserable.

I had ski lessons every morning and saw no improvement or enjoyment, so after day 4 i sacked it off and sat outside the restaurant every day. I read books, the newspaper, drank,hot chocolate and vin chaud. Friends stopped off to chat. Then we all went for a lovely dinner.

The last few days when I wasn't skiing were the best part of the trip.

BigChocFrenzy · 22/12/2016 12:13

There is chance you'd enjoy skiing / learning if:
. you just went with your DP and
. you spent most of the time together and
. it was a resort to suit you both, with plenty more to do than skiing

But

You can be 100% sure you'll HATE a holiday with bullying ILs who every evening humiliate a chosen scapegoat - which will probably be you mainly - with a "Dick of the Day" hat

A moderate drinker will not enjoy the evening booze sessions - and you'll be a "spoilsport" if you don't get shitfaced too.

It's NOT being childish to refuse to be a victim of bullies

Bogeyface · 22/12/2016 12:18

What is the obsession with hot chocolate on this thread?!

Has no one ever heard of a cup of tea in a ski resort?

Original poster

Leanback · 22/12/2016 12:19

Thanks bigchoc I think that sums up my issues perfectly.

I think I'd be more likely to consider going if it was just dp, his parents and his sister. It is his uncle and his cousin which are the biggest supporters of out-skiing each other, getting wasted and wearing silly hats.

OP posts:

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 22/12/2016 12:42

Don't go, OP.

I ski. I love it. But one year on our family Christmas holiday to a club med in one of the biggest ski resorts I was injured so had to be a no skier. It was miserable- sitting about on my own with a book and a coffee isn't that great.

I also know I would hate sky diving. Or a cruise. Not giving it a try is sensible - I'm a grown woman who knows myself.

Also the 399 quoted above doesn't include the lift pass (big expense), skis, boots, poles, clothing, or lessons if the op can't ski already.

WhiskyAndTwiglets · 22/12/2016 13:13

Don't know why my reply was taken out of context 🙄
I did read that the OP didn't have children yet, and would try skiing perhaps when she does as that appeals. My reply was to get a head start and don't learn with them - I wish I'd done that. Based on my own experiences, learning with my eldest was too late to properly enjoy skiing with her when she was little. I wasn't even good enough to be trusted on a lift with her!

TheProblemOfSusan · 22/12/2016 13:13

All the people worried about non-skiing partners ditching their spouses for skiers - I'm a mad keen skier. Adore it. Think everyone should try it.

But my husband did it once before I knew him and hated it and doesn't want to try again. And even of he did ski he's unlikely to want to do the same runs as me, he's much more cautious. So I go with other people.

It's going to be really bloody handy having a non skier to leave the baby with when I have one, I can tell you, and he's a keeper in every other way.

WhiskyAndTwiglets · 22/12/2016 13:18

And pick and mix my reply and say fine, get a bus and do that locally instead, missing out

take a cable car and meet people up a mountain for lunch, visit local places (we found a salt museum in Salzburg one year that was remarkably fun!), go for a sleigh ride, go snow shoeing, learn to drive a husky sled

None of those are in my local town that's for sure 😂

merrymouse · 22/12/2016 13:20

Doing a sport for one or two weeks a year is not 'a passion', it is a holiday choice.

People who are passionate about a sport or hobby do it every weekend, after work and on holiday, yet relationships survive even though both parties aren't obsessed with triathlon/football/amateur dramatics.

If you live in a country with few mountains and little snow, skiing is relatively easy to avoid. Not being together for a week or two is quite low on the list of difficulties a couple might experience.

On the other hand, being forced to holiday every year with the in laws - that could be tough!

merrymouse · 22/12/2016 13:26

But except for the cable car these things aren't on offer in most ski resorts and the OP doesn't get to choose the ski resort.

Fine if you are describing the holiday she has already said she would like to have with friends (in the OP I fact), not applicable to this holiday with her in-laws.

WhiskyAndTwiglets · 22/12/2016 13:29

TheProblemOfSusan but when your future children are older, what then?

merrymouse · 22/12/2016 13:30

I think many people are replying as if the OP had been 'AIBU, my DP loves skiing, but he is annoyed because I have told him I will never go anywhere with snow and skiing is stupid'.

WhiskyAndTwiglets · 22/12/2016 13:31

merrymouse but the ILs go somewhere different each year? The OP could find out where is planned this time before panicking she'd be bored rigid.

WhiskyAndTwiglets · 22/12/2016 13:34

I think in the future if partners of my children just refused point blank after I'd asked them, and would have enjoyed having them there, I'd feel a bit hurt if they wouldn't even try it.

merrymouse · 22/12/2016 13:36

whisky, I think this particular holiday group could be transplanted to the Caribbean and the OP would still be worrying about the 'Dick of the Day' cousin.

It doesn't sound as though the only problem is being bored.

hutchblue · 22/12/2016 14:19

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down.

halcyondays · 22/12/2016 14:26

Life is far too short to waste time and money going on a holiday you don't want to go on, with people you don't want to go with.

RubyWinterstorm · 22/12/2016 15:14

the problem is not with skiing here, it's with the awful sounding in-laws!

MrsExpo · 22/12/2016 16:46

Not read all the responses, but have tried skiing once and hated it. YANBU ... don't go.

Timetogetup0630 · 22/12/2016 16:48

Two issues to consider in my opinion.
Who is paying ?
And where are you all planning to go?
Some resorts are great for beginners and non skiiers. Others provide little else.

blondiepigtails · 22/12/2016 18:01

I can so empathise OP. Ten years ago, when I was 43, DH decided we would all learn to ski. I'm not sporty, take ages to learn etc. DH and DC were brilliant. I swore all week... but after a week in ski school I could sort of slide. But, I loved being in the mountains and that is the only reason I went a 2nd time. I just love skiing now, like SparklyLeprauchan, I shall never be competent, but who cares. I get a bit better each time, have my own skis and boots and would miss not gong. Go to ski school, make your own friends and have a laugh. At least give it your best shot before you give up.

DierdrePewtey · 22/12/2016 18:04

Going on a skiing holiday when you are a beginner with a bunch of experienced skiers is shit. Take it from me, I have done it.

essexgirly69 · 22/12/2016 18:08

I've never been but can't imagine anything worse. I'd rather put out a campfire with my face.

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