MIL's visit from Father Christmas

[AliceFish16]

Morning!

I saw my in laws briefly yesterday and my mil said something to my DD (3.5) about Father Christmas leaving presents at her house for her and DS (baby) but only if they are good (we are going to them for Christmas Day).

We have told DD that Father Christmas only visits children not adults (as she asked what FC was bringing us, her grandparents etc). I know my mums presents to DC will be from her not FC and I don't really want other FC presents given to our children than anyone but ourselves (this is how it was when I was growing up).

AIBU to ask mil not to do this or should I stop being selfish/protective and let mil go ahead?

I realise how trivial this is but when I asked by DH he just brushed over it and I know my mum will say don't let her! So would love some other views!

I personally do not see a problem.

MN is full of threads about uncaring DGPs and PiLs and you have a MiL who wants to be involved with your children. Does it really matter if Christmas is not exactly the same as when you were a child? Let Christmas evolve and make a new pattern which now involves both sets of DGPs.

I would probably force DH into deciding with me on what OUR family will be doing and what traditions to set in place for our children. Then present a united front to all other family members. It will require compromise on both sides and you may not get it the way you want.

I had this conversation with DH two nights ago. I said I want FC to only visit here and only leave what is in DD's stocking. Presents from other people are from them and they need thanking.
He agreed and will support me if MIL tries it on, although we have told everyone we aren't doing FC so I don't foresee a problem.

Although in my home we do what ftmsoon does :)

I don't think FC leaving presents at her house is an issue but I do really hate the threat that children only get presents if they've been good.

It's bollocks.

Thanks guys! I did think I was being a bit pathetic but sometimes you need someone to say "yes you are, worry about important things"

Chottie is right! Shes not doing anything wrong/offensive/irritating. She's got them presents and is being nice

Really? Does it matter if a fictional person leaves presents at their house or not?

Does it matter what you did as a child?

I don't get the angst over what santa does. I have seen it on a few threads. It's never entered my head to have a set list of jobs for a man who doesn't exist. Nor has it entered my head to tell my parents or pils what they should say about santa either.

Yabu.

Yes Navy and White!! All new to this so trying to figure it all out!!

As I said I did think I was being a bit over sensitive (stupid!!) but wanted some views as those around me wouldn't be very helpful!

Two specific name choices there Alice. Who will you be next?

Yeah. You really won't care about this in 30 years time. But spoiling Xmas a bit with petty rows you will regret. Glad you made the right call.

This is so lovely!

OP: AIBU?
Majority of MN: Yep, a little.
OP: Yeah, you're probably right - thanks everyone.

All in under 20 posts.

Alice, I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas :) No harm in Santa spreading the joy between houses!

Santa used to come to my grans house as well as our house when we we little. I loved it and i think i was aware very early the these were really just my gifts from my grandparent but it sort of added to the magicalness of Christmas.

You must be new to MN, OP - you can't see reason so quickly - it should take at least 100 posts, and even then you should be insistent that you are in the right!!

Cross posted with OneMillion

Merry Christmas to you all!

(At least I know where to come next time control freak in me gets out of hand)

Bluesky - that's lovely - makes me feel excited now to see DD face twice that day when she realises he's come twice for them!

My PIL tried to add all of their presents to th Santa ones and I explained that they couldn't as DD wouldn't know who to thank if they did that. My next mission is to persuade them to stick to one present.

She will probably give them a gift that is from her as well as a stocking from Santa won't she?

you say you want it done the way it was done in your house growing up, but perhaps her way was the way it was on your DH's house. Does it really matter? Honestly, don't sweat the small stuff. Unless you are morally opposed to lying to your children about Santa altogether, in which case I would agree that your MIL should respect your strongly held principles, then I think it should be the prerogative of the gift giver to decide how/when a gift should be given.

Well, going against the grain, but I'd gently ask if the presents could just be from her at her house.

It's not necessarily because I have "rules" about FC, but as I'll be bearing the brunt of answering the questions and find it hard to be untruthful, I don't like to make it all too complicated.

I don't make a big production of FC, but the kids leave out a stocking and ask for one thing, then see if it gets left for them. They have a bit of fun with that, then everything else is from whoever. It just keeps it nice and simple and no one has to go to any lengths to explain anything and get tied in knots, and there is not too much emphasis placed on tons of magical presents appearing from all directions, and more emphasis placed on giving from family and friends. It all just seems a bit over the top otherwise for some children to be getting multiple FC visits at different houses, but that is just my view and I realise that it doesn't really matter how it's done as its all nonsense