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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

MIL's visit from Father Christmas

94 replies

AliceFish16 · 20/12/2016 07:11

Morning!

I saw my in laws briefly yesterday and my mil said something to my DD (3.5) about Father Christmas leaving presents at her house for her and DS (baby) but only if they are good (we are going to them for Christmas Day).

We have told DD that Father Christmas only visits children not adults (as she asked what FC was bringing us, her grandparents etc). I know my mums presents to DC will be from her not FC and I don't really want other FC presents given to our children than anyone but ourselves (this is how it was when I was growing up).

AIBU to ask mil not to do this or should I stop being selfish/protective and let mil go ahead?

I realise how trivial this is but when I asked by DH he just brushed over it and I know my mum will say don't let her! So would love some other views!

OP posts:

NavyandWhite · 20/12/2016 10:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ahickiefromkinickie · 20/12/2016 10:43

AIBU to ask mil not to do this or should I stop being selfish/protective and let mil go ahead?

Yes, the latter.

SparkyBlue · 20/12/2016 10:45

Santa is also coming to my mums house this year and my parents are sick with excitement. I think it's great that everyone is involved and looking forward to it

DrowningInPoop · 20/12/2016 10:48

I can completely see where you're coming from OP. DH agrees with me so we've made it clear and everyone goes with that.

Have a lovely Christmas

user1480946351 · 20/12/2016 10:54

I can completely see where you're coming from OP. DH agrees with me so we've made it clear and everyone goes with that

Are you always so controlling? What is their punishment if they say or do the "wrong thing"?

Extra adults excited for christmas with your children, getting them presents and all that, and all you can do is demand and order and want everything your own way. Spoiled brats (the parents, not the children).
Have you any clue how lucky you are?

liquidrevolution · 20/12/2016 10:57

We are at my mums for Christmas. Santa know which house to deliver to as we are away but my DH and I have sorted the presents out for DDs stocking. Everything else including her 'big' present is from us or other relatives.

I am a bit at everyone that thinks MILs or DMs also doing stockings is ok or indeed normal. Surely it would be better not to overload kids with stuff?

Its not entirely clear in the OP if you are also doing stocking so 2 stockings in total? What happens next year when you are not at your MILs but maybe at home or elsewhere and there is only 1 stocking?

I have contentious views I know but Christmas is too confusing as it is without random extra stockings. My DM does table presents which is her way of doing little treats for everyone.

Costacoffeeplease · 20/12/2016 10:59

It's batshit to give a flying fuck and control how and what people give you at Christmas

You have interested, involved grandparents, be grateful, and spend your energy on something that, you know, actually bloody matters

FairyAnn · 20/12/2016 11:03

I wouldn't worry. At 3.5 years old, they're not likely to be carefully reading the label on the gift before ripping it open.

At the end of the day, they probably won't remember who bought them the gift - MIL or FC - only that they got one :)

greenfolder · 20/12/2016 11:08

It depends how much you want them to beleive in fc and for how long. I think this might be our youngest last year, she is 9.
We have always kept it simple. Fc does stocking presents. Stockings are left by the front door, behind the curtain.
Fc is lovely and loves children and does not punish children for being naughty ( ie over excited and tired).
What you do need to do before next year is get your stories straight!

Isadora2007 · 20/12/2016 11:10

"Christmas is too confusing" ?!??

What? It's Christmas. Not a fecking Mensa test...

Get. A. Grip.

PrivatePike · 20/12/2016 11:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1480946351 · 20/12/2016 11:16

If your kids are utterly confused by 2 stockings, you've got bigger problems.

MrsDustyBusty · 20/12/2016 11:24

I am a bit confused at everyone that thinks MILs or DMs also doing stockings is ok or indeed normal.

Well I'm making the same face at the idea that it's wrong or abnormal.

Spam88 · 20/12/2016 11:24

You're really over thinking it. When we were little, our parents bought all the presents and wrapped them, then sent them to Father Christmas for him to deliver to us at Christmas. We never question this completely inefficient and illogical process.

DrowningInPoop · 20/12/2016 11:27

Entitled to do the tradition as we see fit, thanks! FC comes to where the child is and leave them one present. If we are staying with granny then so be it, but he doesn't come to 3 or 4 houses to leave different things for the same child - ridiculous.

Surely the grandparents had a chance to do Christmas traditions with theirs as they saw fit.

user1480946351 · 20/12/2016 11:29

Some of you people should remember that some kids have no grandparents, no extended family, no piles of presents. And some of us are missing our parents at christmas.
You sound utterly pathetic arguing about who gives what presents and how. Get a grip of yourselves and realise just how lucky you are.

SatsukiKusakabe · 20/12/2016 11:30

costa you sound really angry about this...

Costacoffeeplease · 20/12/2016 11:46

Angry? No

Bemused and amused, and frankly quite appalled, but angry? No

he doesn't come to 3 or 4 houses to leave different things for the same child - ridiculous.

And that's the ridiculous bit, is it?

Costacoffeeplease · 20/12/2016 11:47

random extra stockings

I've heard it all now

Get a fucking grip ffs

ProudBadMum · 20/12/2016 11:49

Santa visits mine, his dads and his grandparents.

Santa leaves my presents with my mum as well you see. Joys of having siblings under 10, they ask why us older ones are ignored by santa

gillybeanz · 20/12/2016 11:52

You have to start new traditions when you marry/ merge with another person's family.
Just because it was a certain way for you growing up doesn't mean it has to be the same for your children.
It's about compromise and you and dh agreeing what you want, finding your own value.

DailyFail1 · 20/12/2016 11:54

I have the opposite problem. Brother told his kids that father christmas only comes to my house (he hates christmas set up while I love it and so will always come to mine). Queue the frantic daily calls from neices and nephews asking if FC has been yet.

BertrandRussell · 20/12/2016 11:54

"Christmas is too confusing as it is without random extra stockings"

This has to be my absolute favourite Mumsnet sentence of all time!

gillybeanz · 20/12/2016 11:55

Oh, and there's no normal or wrong, you do it how you seem fit.
This thread is weird in that so many people think there is one way and it's their way or everyone else is wrong if they do different.
Wow!

ProudBadMum · 20/12/2016 11:56

How are presents confusing?

Do kids sit there with their extra stocking thinking 'wtf do we do with it'?! No they know it's presents ffs

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