16 month baby alone at home, neighbour with baby monitor

[hydrangea78]

Neighbour has offered to babysit.
My partner thinks we should put our 16 month old to sleep then let the neighbour babysit from the comfort of her own home (semi-detached property) and just hand her our video monitor. I completely disagree and WWIII has now broken out. AIBU?

There are three factors: chances of something bad happening (very low), possible consequences (disastrous), and benefits of taking that risk.

MN always goes on about the risks of getting in the car but I do the school run on foot despite the fact that our normal urban journey of half a mile would be far far safer for us if we drove. Walking is several times more likely to result in my precious DCs' death or serious injury but I go ahead and do it anyway because I think that walking has benefits that outweigh that risk.

So I won't say I'd never do this. I wouldn't do it just so that my neighbour could have a comfy time on her own sofa, but I might do it if e.g. neighbour was only possible babysitter but also sole carer for another relative - so she could dash to the rescue of toddler in an emergency but could not possibly spend all evening in my home. It's like the OP who had to dash to hospital with baby, leaving older child asleep in bed - sometimes the small increased risk is your better option. Not in this case though.

Oh blue seriously, 'babies are no threat to burglars'?

I'm being quite serious. I guess it depends if your view on burglars is a caricature perpetuated by the daily fail or actual burglars.

Seriously, what do you think a burglar is going to do when it seems a baby in the house?

no i wouldnt leave a child home alone and leave monitor with neighbour , its wrong on many levels and as others have said a fire etc could happen,tho unlikely

popping to the garage at end of garden in property, as long as monitor is taken i would do this, if was literally a few mins to grab something

same with meal/drink in own garden with baby asleep in house, but monitor with us/patio doors open, this i dont see a peoblen with ......

bluesky what if the burglars are on drugs and not thinking properly, the baby is disturbed and cries and the burglars decide to shut the baby up? Best case scenario the toddler sees strangers in its room and gets very upset, the fact that they are small doesn't mean it's ok for that to happen.

Regardless of that, it's still a stupid point, why put the child at increased risk of being in a house that gets burgled? Adult in house, lights on, watching TV etc = average burglars less likely to break into that house as they don't want to get caught and they actually want to escape with more stuff that's worth money... Seems obvious to me

Are we seriously arguing about the relative risk of a 16 month old toddler being harmed by a burglar when home alone? How shit would you feel if this scenario happened even if no one was hurt?

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children ( NSPCC ) says: children under 12 are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time. children under 16 shouldn't be left alone overnight. babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone

That's current guidelines. Set for a reason.

Children under 16 - I spat my tea out laughing. Our mum went away on holiday for a fortnight to Spain when I was 16. She had been working full time for 12 months at that age

bauble

Yet we expect 11 year olds to be able to get themselves to and from school unsupervised

Ok, all those who are confident this is safe and legal:

So, you chose to have a night out and left your baby alone in the house, monitored by a neighbour.

Example Risk a)
Somone phones SS to tell them about this
Are you confident they won't be interested ?

Example Risk b)
There is a fire, or the baby chokes quietly. Or if toddling age - gets out of bed, falls and hits their head.
The ambulance or fire brigade take her to hospital - are you confident you'd be allowed to take your baby home afterwards ?
If there is a tragedy, are you sure that the police won't bring charges for negligent homicide ?

I think if any of those things happened the neighbour would be round sharpish if she was listening as she's meant to be so not an issue.