16 month baby alone at home, neighbour with baby monitor

[hydrangea78]

Neighbour has offered to babysit.
My partner thinks we should put our 16 month old to sleep then let the neighbour babysit from the comfort of her own home (semi-detached property) and just hand her our video monitor. I completely disagree and WWIII has now broken out. AIBU?

Also you're not smothering. Just mothering. Very reasonably.

It's not the likelihood of something happening that's the sole indicator of risk - it's the potential consequence if it does. Risk is basically a matrix of likelihood and consequence.

It is unlikely the child will choke, or there'd be a fire - but if you're not there then the consequences are catastrophic.

It's more likely the child wakes, cries and cries alone for the time it takes the neighbour to get round. That's not ideal either.

It's worrying he is trying to distance himself from the baby - how is he in the day? 16mo needs watching like a hawk when awake.

"He has also used the garage analogy. I don't have a problem with him popping to the garage in the day when DD is napping. But this feels different."

Because it is. Imagine something happens. Your neighbour has popped out of the room and doesn't hear the monitor go off. When she returns she freaks out and runs about trying to remember where she put your spare key. Then she pulls her shoes on, runs outside, fiddles with your lock as she's unfamiliar with it, then trips over things as she's rushing and can't feel where the light switch is in the dark.

Not really the same as being just downstairs, able to hear what's going on without the monitor, is it?

Is this a piss take thread?

Are you seriously asking if you should leave your baby in a house alone?

It doesn't matter that there's a neighbour in a semi-detached house next door, the buck stops with you and if something happens you are in the wrong. you are the person who left your baby home by themselves.

It's all very bizarre to even ask such a question!

I'm asking again, where are you going that means you would consider leaving your 16 month home alone?

And even if your dh wants to you don't do it! End of!

birds I think she means the type of garage that you store your tools in and is attached to your own house

No, this is a terrible and completely ridiculous idea! As Figgy said, what if there is a fire? This wrong on every single level, and you should absolutely not do it!

Oh actually ... He's leaving the baby in the house while he potters in the garage? His behaviour sounds either selfish and immature, or dangerously optimistic (that all will be okay)

100% no

'Smothering mothering'? I would ignore that comment due to it being a steaming pile of shite.

YANBU, it's a terrible idea to leave a baby in a house alone. Let WW3 break out and stand your ground.

Illegal. Child neglect.

Twats.

Can I ask a question thats been playing on my mind annd relative please. Dh has an outbuilding no more than 10 yards from the back door that he does an activity in some evenings and it would be nice to sit with him and do it together like we used to before dd sometimes. I havn't yet, but was wondering with a monitor if I could maybe sometimes? I can't make my mind up, what would you do in this scenario? Sorry to hijack it just seems relative. Fwiw I wouldn't do the neighbour thing.

16 months old? No. just no. And I'm all for children being free and given independence bla bla bla...children not babies!

I too want to know what's so important he is willing to take a chance with his child?? Actually this would be a deal breaker for me I think, not just the fact he suggested it but assuming you pointed out the risks then the fact he doesn't give a fuck and is willing to go ahead and then be a prick to you because you aren't willing to take the risk

Oh dear, this makes me realllllly uneasy.

Please, no. Don't do it.

I 'd be re-evaluating my marriage if my husband suggested this.

What if she takes her eyes off the monitor or dozes off? In the same house the baby would cry out and be heard what if she falls asleep and the monitor somehow stops working there will be no way for her to hear he baby! It's unlikely to happen but certainly not worth the risk!

Sorry to wheel this out again but there was a boiler fire in my neighbours flat, the boiler went up in seconds. If he hadn't been in to smell it, I wouldn't have got out the building that fast. fire spreads like, er, fire?

So that's one example of why this is a mad idea

I often go in my shed whilst my kids are asleep, it's where I keep the pet food and stuff.

Ive even been known to do do my plant pots and check the oil in my car or put the bins out.

Out of interest... What's the outbuilding activity user146... ??? Sounds ummm.... Intriguing.

OP please come back and say you aren't going to do this.

I don't believe this is genuine. No mother would even consider this! Absolute madness

But Sock, how old are your kids?

If I need stuff from the garage, I wait until DH is home.

Are you bloody kidding me?