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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dad 'choosing' to pronounce DD's name differently

602 replies

runningaftermydreams · 19/12/2016 19:09

This is the first post I've written. Apologises for bad spelling... I am writing in anger.

So my DD is 3 months old and I given her an usual name, which I have accepted people will/do pronounce it wrong because they don't know how to say it, its easy Once you know though. My Ddad seems to struggle with it, except today I was visiting with my DC and my Ddad said her name wrong (Again!) so my Dsis corrected him (again) to which my DDad response was "Well it shouldn't be pronounced like that it should be pronounced the way I said it, I am saying it this way"

It then got heated because I told him you can't do that it will confuse her as it doesn't sound anything like her name. He said shes too little to notice. I said he needs to call her by her name that we have given her end of!!
Im fuming because he blatantly told me hes choosing to pronounce it differently, I know this won't be the end of it. I am hurt by this. I know he doesn't like it because it's not a "solid english" name (hmmm my mom is german so hes being a dick), but I wish he would respect our choice.

I am worried about what DP will say when Ddad says her name over Christmas at family gatherings. Think its going to kick off, as this won't be the first time recently where DP has disagreed with him.

AIBU to be angry about this? Wwyd?

OP posts:
TinselTwins · 19/12/2016 19:34

I tried pronouncing it with your phonetics and really struggled, it really "sticks" and is difficult to say

I've only ever known it pronouces Ah-nay, or occassionally Ah-nay-s

I usually hate when people don't try to pronounce names right but I cannot get your phonetics out OP it doesn't seem to work/flow in any way

If I was your kid I'ld change it back myself to ah-nay.. so you may as well give up now

destinywidow · 19/12/2016 19:35

TBH your going to get this for years, if not from your dad from other people.

I have an common name (although getting a bit more common lately) and I've had to tell people how to pronounce it for years, spell it constantly for people and it really pisses me off. My mum just thought it was a pretty name, didn't realise people couldn't say it/couldn't be bothered to say it right.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 19/12/2016 19:35

Ive since mentioned the conversation to my Dsis who has said that dad doesn't want to say the way we do sad

He possibly can't get his tongue round it, OP. Sometimes it's easier to say you just won't do something, rather than that you can't.

People on this thread, me included, have said they're struggling to form the sound you're after.

stickygotstuck · 19/12/2016 19:35

For what it's worth OP, I would pronounce it as you said: ah-nah-ees. That's what the two little dots are for. Come to think of it, if the perfume was pronounced as other posters say, I should think it was 'mispronounced' on purpose as a marketing device to make buyers' lives easier.

In any case, surely a grandad should be able to say his own granddaughter's name as her parents wish! He's being willfully ignorant.

CakesRUs · 19/12/2016 19:36

He'll soon get fed up of it. I have a William and my DB, facetiously, would call him Wilhelm when he was a newborn, just ignore it, he will soon drop it as time goes by.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 19/12/2016 19:38

The umlaut does change the pronunciation, so the vowels are pronounced separately, rather than as an 'ay' IYSWIM.

It's An-eye-ees.

honeylulu · 19/12/2016 19:39

Yes annoying. Just ignore.
My parents don't like my daughter's name. She has a nickname which is nothing like her name (similar to "Binky" but not actually that) and they insist on calling her that all the time, tell everyone that's her name. It's a cute nickname but people must think I'm bonkers to have put it in her birth certificate (I didn't!)
They even send her post addressed to "Miss Binky Smith". They don't have to like her name but it's still her name!!!

honeylulu · 19/12/2016 19:39

Anais is lovely by the way.

UnmentionedElephantDildo · 19/12/2016 19:40

Thr standard pronunciation is an-eye-ees.

OP seems to have chosen one inaccurate version, and her DDad another inaccurate version.

I'd just let it roll tbh.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 19/12/2016 19:40

I'm not surprised he's having trouble tbhGrin

Get used to it, you'll have years of this ahead of you!Wink

TinselTwins · 19/12/2016 19:41

I literally cannot say ah-nah-ess without massive pauses making it sound like three words

I can however say it Rufus's way: An-eye-ees, and have it still come out as a single word IYKWIM

But OP however much I try, I cannot make Ah-nah-ees come out as a single word, it just won't.

1horatio · 19/12/2016 19:41

I personally wouldn't care. Just in my family there are 3 different pronunciations of my name. And people also pronounce DD's name differently.

As long as it's an acceptable pronunciation it's all good imo.

However, seeing as you feel differently about this he should accept that and stop being so pig-headed.

Daisyfrumps · 19/12/2016 19:41

So it should like 'an-ice'?

1horatio · 19/12/2016 19:42

Btw, your pronunciation isn't the 'correct' one either.

NightWanderer · 19/12/2016 19:43

Here's the perfume ad

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 19/12/2016 19:43

Ah-nah-ees come out as a single word, it just won't

Me neither!

1horatio · 19/12/2016 19:45

Is that how you pronounce it, OP?

I've only heard it pronounced the French way.

forvo.com/word/anaïs/

Original poster
runningaftermydreams · 19/12/2016 19:46

I suppose you need to hear it, I was never very good at writing things down phonetically anyway. But I promise it is easy to say.
DD isn't very well unfortunately and has had and will continue to have alot of hospital appointments. So I've had alot of people call it out differently which does make me giggle to be fair. Grin I will get used it I am sure

OP posts:
Glitterous · 19/12/2016 19:46

Ffs it's a French name. An-eye-is. It's not hard to pronounce, it's 3 syllables!!

Op - it's annoying. friends often mispronounce my dds name. Conversations tend to go along the line of

Friend: Oh how's Maya (may-a)
Me: Oh, Maya (my-a) is fine

With your dad I'd just start calling him by his first name instead of dad and say that's what his name is so you'll use it

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 19/12/2016 19:46

Your dad shouldn't purposefully say your daughter's name wrong

But I'm really struggling to pronounce it your way! It is difficult to say

Could it be that he can't say it, Rather than won't?

Are you sure about giving her such an unusual name? I get so irritated having to spell my name to people (common name but several spellings), I wish my parents had chosen an unambiguous name

weeblueberry · 19/12/2016 19:46

One of my clients has this name (she's Swiss) and pronounces it An-ah-ees. We had a long discussion about it one day and she said I'm the only British person to pronounce it right off the bat. But it was only because I checked a name pronunciation site before calling her. Blush I don't think it's an easy one.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 19/12/2016 19:47

There's no help for it, runningaftermydreams.

You'll have to upload an audioclip of how the name should be pronounced. Xmas Smile

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 19/12/2016 19:47

Ffs it's a French name. An-eye-is. It's not hard to pronounce, it's 3 syllables!!

Yes but that's not how the OP pronounces it!

kaputt · 19/12/2016 19:47

before my head actually explodes

I always thought it was an-eye-as (or es, depending on your accent)

But the only kid I've met with the name was called ahn-nye-eees

No idea which is correct.

viques · 19/12/2016 19:47

Sometimes you just have to accept that people are going to get it wrong if you choose an unconventional spelling or pronounciation.A friend wanted to call her child Ava, but pronounce it Eva. eventually she was persuaded to spell it Eva if that is what she wanted to hear. The poor girl would have had a lifetime of grief otherwise.

I am in the Ann I Ees camp myself.