Dad 'choosing' to pronounce DD's name differently

[runningaftermydreams]

This is the first post I've written. Apologises for bad spelling... I am writing in anger.

So my DD is 3 months old and I given her an usual name, which I have accepted people will/do pronounce it wrong because they don't know how to say it, its easy Once you know though. My Ddad seems to struggle with it, except today I was visiting with my DC and my Ddad said her name wrong (Again!) so my Dsis corrected him (again) to which my DDad response was "Well it shouldn't be pronounced like that it should be pronounced the way I said it, I am saying it this way"

It then got heated because I told him you can't do that it will confuse her as it doesn't sound anything like her name. He said shes too little to notice. I said he needs to call her by her name that we have given her end of!!
Im fuming because he blatantly told me hes choosing to pronounce it differently, I know this won't be the end of it. I am hurt by this. I know he doesn't like it because it's not a "solid english" name (hmmm my mom is german so hes being a dick), but I wish he would respect our choice.

I am worried about what DP will say when Ddad says her name over Christmas at family gatherings. Think its going to kick off, as this won't be the first time recently where DP has disagreed with him.

AIBU to be angry about this? Wwyd?

Well, yes. I guess if you give your kid a French name and you're not French or living in a FR speaking country, you're going to spend a lot of time explaining the pronunciation to people.

I agree with this, but the point with Anaïs (IMO) is that the Ah-nay pronunciation is just as arbitrary from an English point of view. I grew up in Belgium at the time that the perfume was popular and only ever heard the A-na-ees pronunciation the only correct one. When I heard the way the way it was being pronounced in the UK, I remember even then thinking WTF? Why did the perfume get sold as Ah-nay in the UK? To me it seemed deliberately and weirdly wrong in an annoying we are better than you kind of way.

I think I might be strangely over-invested in this whole issue . Sorry.

I work with an Anne (definitely only spelled that way) who says it out loud as "Anna". She's got 3 nationality + 2 language backgrounds.

oops... i got that wrong 3 different language backgrounds.

I thought it was AH-NA-ISS

sapcared it wasn't marketed as 'An-ay'. The adverts (as posted in this thread repeatedly) demonstrate that.

Ok sorry cardibach. I posted an advert myself (didn't see the others as I have not read the whole thread) but thought it was a French one ().

Still, I was aware of it being referred to as An-ay in the UK. Why was it called that despite the adverts?

(Will read thread to get the answer!)

(Or not ).

I'm sure this has been suggested up-thread but perhaps you could just pronounce his name incorrectly until he gets the hang of it. So instead of 'dad' try 'shit-for-brains' and see how he likes it?!?

It was a pleasant perfume back in the 80s. Maybe it's time for a relaunch?

scared I guess becisse of the kind of wilful ignorance being demonstrated on this thread...
I wore it in the 80s and was very aware of people failing to accept the pronunciation.

Lots of brands are mispronounced. I always say I-ke-a, but most Brits I know say Ai-ki-a for Ikea.

IKEA is pronounced more like ee-keh-ah or ee-kay-ah in Swedish.

But we pronounce it like eye-kee-ah where I live.

Seriously everyone, does it actually matter how google pronounces it, or how some aged, worn out "celeb's" daughter prognoses it? Get over it.

Op has said how SHE (the child's mother) pronounces it, do we need several boring posts pointing out exactly what the op's father is doing?

*pronounces

OP is saying it correctly.
OP understands it's unusual and people may pronounce it wrongly, initially, if they're reading it. She's not asking your opinion on whether she should change her daughter's (beautiful) name or not.
OP's issue is that her dad, despite having been explicitly told how to prounounce the name - An-eye-ees - is refusing to do so. And it is refusing, because he's utterly butchering it, and there's no way he can't say the three syllables An - eye - ees. And if he actually cared and wasn't being a dick, he'd try his best and be apologetic for any mangling of it.
I think you should just keep calmly correcting him every. single. time he says her name wrong, OP. Perhaps ask him if he needs hearing aids, seeing as he's having so much trouble with such simple sounds!
Personally, I know the name from The Amazing World of Gumball, and I imagine a fair few kids will recognise it from that. I think it's so pretty and flowing to say. Funnily enough, in the show I believe the grandmother says it "an-EYE-iss", and everyone else says it "an-eye-EEs." Clearly the older generation having an issue with the name is widespread

Seriously everyone, does it actually matter how google pronounces it, or how some aged, worn out "celeb's" daughter prognoses it? Get over it. Op has said how SHE (the child's mother) pronounces it, do we need several boring posts pointing out exactly what the op's father is doing

Yes. As stated, you can't just decide yourself how a name sounds and then expect everyone to follow suit. If the parents get it wrong, its tough shite, you'll have to out up with a lot of crap about it and its all your own fault.

I agree with this, but the point with Anaïs (IMO) is that the Ah-nay pronunciation is just as arbitrary from an English point of view

It's not at all arbitrary. In common french words that english people might know, "ais" very often sounds like "ay" ...mais, Francais, frais etc. So they see Anais, think its french, and automatically guess Ah-nay. It makes perfect sense and is highly logical, especially when the diaresis is either left off or you don't know what that does to it.

My name is Anna, I've been called Anne, Annie, Hannah etc loads of times in my life.

user for the 465654th time, the OP IS saying it correctly!

That may be, but it doesn't change the wider point. People keep saying that any name is pronounced "correctly" when it is said as the parents want it said. That is not the case.

"for the 465654th time, the OP IS saying it correctly!"

Unless I've missed a correction, no she isn't. Because in no standard pronunciation is the last syllable 'ess'

And if French (the language in which this name is, I think commonest) Op's version of the second syllable is non standard as well.

Couldn't there be a compromise, and both OP and her family changing to one of the normal pronunciations? It'll be easier for the Dc as she grows too, especially as the French version is just beautiful.

Yes you have missed an update, and then several people explaining there was an update.
Head-wall-bang.

Winnie

You've missed many updates...

Nobody knows if the OP is using the most common pronunciation or not, as she is clearly deeply insensitive to sounds, as made crystal clear by her original attempts to write out how she is pronouncing the word. Why people are taking her at her word that she is pronouncing the name the way she has heard it pronounced on a website, I don't know, given that we have clearly established over the course of this ludicrous thread that even when people hear the word pronounced "properly", that is not remotely how they then go on to say it... Anais, Anais perfume being a case in point.

"It is pronounced 'ah nay" - omfg are you people serious? SHE HAS CHOOSEN A SPELLING BASED ON A NAME SHE LIKES NOT BASED ON A FUCKING BACK DATED PERFUME OP HAS SAID IT IS AH NAY ESS SO ITS PRONOUNCED -AHNAYESS-
..jeez