Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect social services after 6 year old burnt foot on cooker? Feel horrendous

280 replies

Soscared100 · 19/12/2016 13:10

Title says it all really
Am petrified social services will now be involved after google searching what happens next
My 6 year old climbed onto the kitchen side last night and stood on one of the electric hobs.
It had been turned off for approx 10 mins as was making her milk for bed and she went out there saying she was getting a cup off the side, instead she climbed up to get a different cup from the cupboard.
After an hour running under water it was only red so we followed the advice on the NHS website and applied Vaseline once completely cooled and wrapped in cling film and gave calpol but shortly after I noticed the blister covered 1/3 of her foot.
I feel sick even writing it as I just never thought she would do this, she isn't even a climber and we only took our baby gates off the kitchen a few months ago as she could undo them.
Called NHS direct once I noticed the size of the blister when she had fallen asleep and I was able to remove the cling film and we were told to go to A&E who cut the blister off, wrapped it and sent us to the burns hospital 20 miles away.
Only recently back from there and will be there every 3 days for as many weeks to get the dressing changed and so on.
Feel so guilty and also completely panicked social services will now be involved as I could have prevented this happening.
There were lots of safeguarding questions at both hospitals and both asking if we had social services involved prior to this ( we haven't ) but none said they were going to contact them but just don't know what to think.
My poor little girl.

OP posts:
Original poster
Soscared100 · 19/12/2016 18:51

Deck - did they tell you they were referring you on for a phone call?
No I'm not a very anxious person generally, this has just thrown me as was so unexpected and then to not only have to be seen at a&e but after they took the layer of skin off we still had to go to the burns unit 20 miles away so it's been a really horrid 14 hours

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 19/12/2016 18:55

That does sound horribly stressful BUT the safeguarding questions are normal.
DD shut her hand in a door. Safeguarding questions.
DS hurt ankle at school. The same.
It's just what they have to do now. Like when you are pg and they ask about donestic violence. Really threw me that did. But it's standard. It really is. It's not personal.

DaisyQueen · 19/12/2016 19:03

My dd scalded herself with my freshly made coffee by pulling it from the mantle piece, I hadn't even make it to the top of the stairs before I heard her scream. We had a phonecall the next day from social services and just had to go through what had happened. The guilt is still with me but accidents happen.

MissJSays · 19/12/2016 19:15

I work in a nursery and with any burn (regardless of nature) we have to refer to SS.

In my experience, if it is referred you'll get a visit from a health visitor. Nothing to worry about though they are human and can tell when something is amiss.

Original poster
Soscared100 · 19/12/2016 19:20

So even if the parent has attended the hospital, the nursery then reports to SS?
We won't be under a health visitor now so I assume the school nurse ( who I haven't met but am sure we have one! ) will be the point of contact

OP posts:
HubbleBubbles · 19/12/2016 19:33

Agree with everyone else - you sound like you are struggling with anxiety OP. Stair gates on the kitchen for a 6 year old?? Why??

For what it's worth, we had 4 a&e visits due to injury in 12 months with dc2 aged 3 . All that happened was a brief call from our health visitor after the 4th admission to check that all was ok , she was very friendly and sympathetic. It wasn't something I worried about, although I was obviously upset about the accidents themselves- just a very active, adventurous and slightly clumsy child which is what I told the HV.

kali110 · 19/12/2016 21:02

Op that sounds so bad, your poor dd and poor you!
I can understand why you're so anxious, most would be if they thought ss would be at their door.
Hope you're dd feels better soon!

Never put Vaseline on burns though, it's terrible that the nhs have this as advice! ( have unfortunately scolded myself several times very severly).
Cold water ( do not put ice directly on burns) then wrap in cling film.
Never put any lotion on burns straight away, especially something like vaseline as it traps heat in.

Believeitornot · 19/12/2016 21:05

What exactly are you worried about?

Is there a family history?

My dd had a broken leg and we took her to a&e. The consultant asked me if we were known to social services (no!) and that the health visitor would be in touch (dd was 12 months). I had a random call from her a couple of weeks later. She asked me what happened and checked my reaction "oh it must have been horrible etc".

That was it.

Crunchymum · 19/12/2016 21:20

OP the majority of posters are offering up tales of similar incidents with no SS involvement, yet you only seem to be reading the odd replies that say maybe SS will become involved.

In the nicest possible way, you need to calm down about this.

I know how horrible it is (I am the poster with a 17mo who got burned with an iron) but you really do need to get a grip.

Catlady1976 · 19/12/2016 21:43

I think the do you have a social worker question is standard? I was asked when Dd3 was admitted on day 5 for losing too much weight. I have also had two panicky trips to A and E for bumped heads. Never even had a phone call from health visitor do I wouldn't worry op.

Gooseygoosey12345 · 19/12/2016 21:59

Don't panic! They normally won't contact you unless you have previous concerns from GP/school etc. But even if they do you've got nothing to hide so don't panic. My dd decided to tell her nursery (a few years ago) that OH "hits me and mummy"!! This was and is entirely untrue, I was mortified but as we'd never had any complaints or concerns before they were happy to let the nursery deal with it. Still no idea where she got it from. So basically, don't worry, accidents happen and you've done nothing wrong!

deckthehellswithballsofholly · 19/12/2016 22:17

Yes, in a 'just to let you know we refer all burn/scald injuries' kind of way.

However as I had taken appropriate action immediately i.e. straight under cold water, cafetiere in the bin Dh bollocked then the nurse said it was a genuine accident. Especially as ds was only too happy to corroborate my story.

6 year olds do daft things. Today's stunt was sliding down the stairs and getting the 3 year old involved in the action.
Except the buggers children realised my raincoat would make them go like greased lightening.

Next time he won't be tempted to stand on the cooker.

Bedsheets4knickers · 19/12/2016 22:30

My 13 month old fell over a tiny ledge landed badly and fractured his leg .. we had a phone call from HV , which we missed so I tried calling them back which never got through . Then we had a letter . I was worried sick . Never got anything from SS .. after a while it all just must of got lost in the system .. now 5 years on I think that maybe it should of been followed up more not for the safety of my own children but others that do suffer . I honestly believe that they can tell and accident a mile off , try not to worry I know easier said than done xxx

mummypeepee · 19/12/2016 22:36

HV generally callmafyer a hospital visit but they will know an accident is an accident. no one would expect you to have stair gates for a 6 year old don't worry xx

FannyFifer · 19/12/2016 22:41

You are totally overthinking this OP, prob in a bit of shock, it was an accident, it happens, it's shite but it happens..
You prob won't hear from anyone, but if you do, so what, just say what happened, it's really not as massive a deal as you are thinking.
I sent my kid to school with a broken leg, didn't realise, thought he was being overly dramatic as usual, no SS were called.

notangelinajolie · 19/12/2016 22:46

Don't worry, you did all the right things and sought help as soon as you realised you needed more than just Calpol and Vaseline.

Aged 4, one of our DD's climbed onto the kitchen worktop and fell off onto a stone floor. She landed on her nose so she wasn't a pretty sight - we rushed her to A&E who patched her up. While I was sitting in Triage with her covered in blood - a man was wheeled past us in a wheelchair. It was my DH who had fainted outside in the carpark at the shock of it all. It was quite a morning! We had a phone call from the HV a few days later just to check we were all ok and that was that.

On another occasion one of my DC's had green poo (sorry tmi). I went to our GP with her but they just told me to keep an eye on her and come back if it happened again. I got a phone call from the HV following up about that too. It dawned on me weeks later that she'd been to a birthday party and had come come with a piece of Bratz birthday cake - it was covered in dark green icing and the green stuff was just food colouring.

If anyone contacts you it will be because they are doing their job. I doubt that SS would be involved if they let you come home with your DC. Perhaps a HV will call - but don't worry if they do, it will be just because they are following up on information the hospital have given them. But again, if the hospital were happy for you to take your DC home, I don't think they will be too concerned.

Big hugs to your little one - bless it must have hurt. In a few years it become one of those kind of memories that I am recalling.

BusyBeez99 · 19/12/2016 22:52

Don't worry. It was an accident and they will realise that.

Daisyfrumps · 19/12/2016 23:03

I'm so sorry this happened OP - it must have been a horrible shock for you all and I'm sure it won't happen again! It really wasn't your fault and couldn't have been helped. Your desire for wanting to know what might happen next (if anything) might be coming from wanting to regain control of the situation - especially if you feel you were to blame. You weren't. I think the 'not knowing' what contact you might receive must be so hard as you may feel you can't put it behind you. I don't really know how to help you feel reassured other than saying it wasn't your fault and the system accepts that accidents happen Flowers

emben12 · 19/12/2016 23:04

I don't think you have anything to worry about. The thing I am most disturbed about is why anyone would deem it necessary to have a baby gate for a 6 year old!!!!

w12newmum · 19/12/2016 23:45

I hope she is ok and like others said I'm sure you don't have anything to worry about. I definitely wouldn't have thought safety gates were needed at that age, if anything focus on teaching her responsibility to avoid accidents but of course accidents will happen.

missymayhemsmum · 19/12/2016 23:55

Look, there are four basic reasons why kids end up with an injury.
First, because kids do daft things and accidents happen, however careful parents are. -maybe some accident prevention advice needed, treat child and reassure the parents.

Second, because kids who are ill/ have sn are more likely to be hurt- a paediatrician once said to me that half the kids he sees who are woozy and throwing up after a head injury had a head injury because they fell over while extra clumsy due to going down with something, or because they have a condition that makes them less able to judge risk than most.

Third, because kids have more accidents in families where the home is unsafe, or the parents are drunk, drugged or depressed or under too much stress to pay attention- maybe some support or intervention needed.
Fourth, kids get hurt because someone hurt them.
The job of all professionals is to work out which one it is. This is a good thing, honestly. Even when it's your child.

Original poster
Soscared100 · 20/12/2016 07:32

Thankyou again for further replies
It is the not knowing that I'm struggling with as nobody mentioned referring it to anyone however when I googled it lots of people had been over similar ( I know I shouldn't have googled it but safeguarding questions panicked me )
I'm hoping us all turning up in the middle of the night to hospital, clearly not drunk or on drugs etc means they realised it was an accident and that's all but I'll just have to deal with it if we do get contact from anyone.
I had contact from the HV when she was small and had a few admissions to a&e with bronchitis but as we are over the age for her now maybe the school nurse will contact me once they are all back at school as its closed now for the hols

OP posts:
Original poster
Soscared100 · 20/12/2016 10:37

Also thanks for the people replying even if they think I'm being over anxious.
Had I not googled it I wouldn't have given it a second thought but I did and that's what panicked me

OP posts:
Flingmoo · 20/12/2016 10:42

A friend of mine has an 18 month old who has had two head injuries requiring A&E treatment within about a month. One he tripped and banged his head on furniture, the other time he fell down the stairs. Do you think they will be getting a visit from social services? From my perspective they are either really unlucky or a little bit negligent/rubbish at childproofing.

wifework · 20/12/2016 10:52

It sounds like a horrible experience. You will probably feel better after a good night's sleep.

She will not make that mistake again, will she?

I doubt SS have the resources to visit very six year old who injures themselves doing something stupid, but if theyt do, they are only looking out for your daughter. They are not the enemy, and of course they won't judge you for letting your six year old in the kitchen. If she were 2, maybe.