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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect social services after 6 year old burnt foot on cooker? Feel horrendous

280 replies

Soscared100 · 19/12/2016 13:10

Title says it all really
Am petrified social services will now be involved after google searching what happens next
My 6 year old climbed onto the kitchen side last night and stood on one of the electric hobs.
It had been turned off for approx 10 mins as was making her milk for bed and she went out there saying she was getting a cup off the side, instead she climbed up to get a different cup from the cupboard.
After an hour running under water it was only red so we followed the advice on the NHS website and applied Vaseline once completely cooled and wrapped in cling film and gave calpol but shortly after I noticed the blister covered 1/3 of her foot.
I feel sick even writing it as I just never thought she would do this, she isn't even a climber and we only took our baby gates off the kitchen a few months ago as she could undo them.
Called NHS direct once I noticed the size of the blister when she had fallen asleep and I was able to remove the cling film and we were told to go to A&E who cut the blister off, wrapped it and sent us to the burns hospital 20 miles away.
Only recently back from there and will be there every 3 days for as many weeks to get the dressing changed and so on.
Feel so guilty and also completely panicked social services will now be involved as I could have prevented this happening.
There were lots of safeguarding questions at both hospitals and both asking if we had social services involved prior to this ( we haven't ) but none said they were going to contact them but just don't know what to think.
My poor little girl.

OP posts:
Original poster
Soscared100 · 20/12/2016 11:17

Thankyou I know that it just feels like my parenting is being questioned if they turn up or call that's all

OP posts:
DancingDinosaur · 20/12/2016 11:23

Oh I wouldn't worry about it. Just tell them the truth. I've had them call me before after my then 4 year had an accident. I think its good they do follow it up.

BastardGoDarkly · 20/12/2016 11:36

Please stop beating yourself up about this op.

Most people won't have stair gates up when their child is 6!

This was a freak accident, that will never be repeated, your dd will certainly have learned to stay away from the hob ☺I hope she has a speedy recovery.

Original poster
Soscared100 · 20/12/2016 13:12

Is it generally the day after event they would contact if they were going to?

OP posts:
user1477282676 · 20/12/2016 13:13

It's not something you can work out in advance OP. They could contact you the next day or the week after.

Newbrummie · 20/12/2016 13:15

Honestly it's the week before Christmas. They will have kids in genuine danger right now that they don't want to leave over the holiday period. You will not be a priority, you've been reassured over and over again. It'll be fine. Stop worrying over nothing

Original poster
Soscared100 · 20/12/2016 13:20

Okay Thankyou

OP posts:
SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 20/12/2016 13:40

One of my DS was a frequent flier at A&E. I was asked safeguarding questions every time, even on the two occasions he injured himself at school. SS never got in touch because they really don't have the time to follow up on what are obvious accidents. What happened to your daughter is an obvious accident. All children have them and even the most sensible sometimes do bizarre, illogical things.

It's normal to feel guilty when your child injures themselves, but it isn't your fault, these things happen, even SS know that.

Original poster
Soscared100 · 20/12/2016 15:09

I just keep playing it over in my mind
I wish I had just gone and got the cup for her instead of letting her go in the kitchen
I know that sounds ridiculous as I never thought for one minute she was going to climb up on the side, in fact she asked for her frozen bottle which I told her was upstairs which it was so I still don't know what possessed her to climb up and look in the cupboard for a different bottle
I know her thoughts are that of a 6 year old and not a 30 something year old like mine but I just feel absolutely awful.

OP posts:
lyricaldancer · 20/12/2016 15:37

OP Any safety guidelines (re. stair gates) advice is not to use them after 24 months. So I wouldn't worry that you took them down, you wouldn't be expected to have them for a six year old.

Wolfiefan · 20/12/2016 15:40

You do seem very shaken by this. Are you usually an anxious person?

Mrscog · 20/12/2016 16:10

But it's just an accident - she'll have learnt a lot about how to climb up on the side safely (after all it's something we all have do do one day - climbing to reach stuff).

Original poster
Soscared100 · 20/12/2016 16:19

No I'm actually not an anxious person by nature.
I tend to think quite logically but this is such a shock to me my emotions are getting the better of me with this one.
I couldn't have foreseen this and I know that but I'm just kicking myself anyway.
She's such a lovely little girl, it's just hard to see her in pain

OP posts:
PastysPrincess · 20/12/2016 16:24

I got a lecture from our health visitor on proper hygiene practices as the hospital had informed them that my son was admitted suffering from campylobacter (food poisoning). Naturally we were horrified and couldn't piece together where my 1 year old could have picked it up from. Turns out the lab had mixed up the samples and it wasn't our son at all. Didn't get any apologies though.

Wolfiefan · 20/12/2016 16:27

Yes it was horrible. She will get better. Focus on that and don't obsess about SS.

Original poster
Soscared100 · 20/12/2016 18:01

I would expect the HV to contact actually with this but she's too old for a HV

OP posts:
Princesspinkgirl · 20/12/2016 18:25

What's likely to happen is the health visitor will get informed then they might but not necessarily chat with social services and even if that was the Case social services are only going to pop over and chat chances are they will close it right away please try not to worry unfortunately accidents happen

Princesspinkgirl · 20/12/2016 18:27

Just seen your child is 6 so chances are health visitor won't be informed but they do sit in the background please don't worry

Original poster
Soscared100 · 20/12/2016 21:08

I take it there aren't any health visitor type people once they get to school age apart from the school nurse?

OP posts:
QuackDuckQuack · 20/12/2016 21:27

That's exactly the kind of thing I can imagine my DD doing (she's 6 too). You can't follow them everywhere and they do surprise you.

The point of referring you to SS or the school nurse or equivalent is so that one person gets all of the referrals for a child. That means that if you were endangering or abusing your child and then taking them to a rotation of different A&E departments someone would be getting the whole picture.

In some ways it is harder once you are out of the HV years as HV can build a relationship with you and I would find it much easier to deal with a HV I know following up on something like this, rather than an unknown school nurse or social worker.

DixieNormas · 20/12/2016 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Soscared100 · 20/12/2016 22:00

I thought all A&Es etc were now linked together?
Maybe I imagined reading something about that last year but in sure I did!
And surely IF a child is already known to social services that would show on some sort of record whilst at the hospital otherwise people could just answer those questions with a " No " and be on their way which is very dangerous surely.
In fact I'm sure the guy at the burns unit said after I answered those questions " I knew the answer was no, but had to ask anyway "
Not sure if he meant that in a way that I don't come across as the type to have involvement or whether there is some sort of record if you do anyway kind of thing.
I agree, having a HV call in or ring for a chat wouldn't concern me at all, they were all lovely whenever I had contact with them, but I'm just not sure who I am even expecting to have contact with if anyone regarding this.
My neighbour who is a doctor said they should have informed me if they were going to contact social services and the didn't so I'm not sure if that means anything or not!
I'm sure the school nurse will be contacted and I've emailed school to make them aware anyway as I'm not sure she will be back straight away following half term so they will already know by the time that comes around if that's how they deal

OP posts:
abbsisspartacus · 21/12/2016 08:08

It will be the School nurse when she gets back after Christmas check your school website it should give a list of dates when she is in school so you have a rough idea when you might get a call

lasttimeround · 21/12/2016 08:22

It's only right someone should check why a child got injured. Accidents happen. In your case they see you care and you mind your child got hurt. You acted to treat the injury and you are thinking about whether you should have done anything more in terms of risk management. Tbh in not sure you could have. I know you feel anxious about this but you needn't.
Imagine instead that someone rise burnt their kid as a punishment or because they have some insane kitchen with the kids chair on the counter next to the cooker. Or they couldn't be bothered to take the kid to hospital after. Shouldn't someone be coming to check on that? But that's not you or your child. So relax and let ss do their job. Highly likely at Xmas no one will even come by.

Original poster
Soscared100 · 21/12/2016 08:59

Thanks, I've checked the website but can't see any dates of when the school nurse is in but they are back on 3/1 so I'm assuming it will be that week or the week after if she makes contact
She didn't when we had an a&e attendance in September but that was for a very high temperature not an accident
Of course they should check in cases like above, it's just the not knowing and feeling like I'm waiting that's unnerving me more I think

OP posts: