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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect social services after 6 year old burnt foot on cooker? Feel horrendous

280 replies

Soscared100 · 19/12/2016 13:10

Title says it all really
Am petrified social services will now be involved after google searching what happens next
My 6 year old climbed onto the kitchen side last night and stood on one of the electric hobs.
It had been turned off for approx 10 mins as was making her milk for bed and she went out there saying she was getting a cup off the side, instead she climbed up to get a different cup from the cupboard.
After an hour running under water it was only red so we followed the advice on the NHS website and applied Vaseline once completely cooled and wrapped in cling film and gave calpol but shortly after I noticed the blister covered 1/3 of her foot.
I feel sick even writing it as I just never thought she would do this, she isn't even a climber and we only took our baby gates off the kitchen a few months ago as she could undo them.
Called NHS direct once I noticed the size of the blister when she had fallen asleep and I was able to remove the cling film and we were told to go to A&E who cut the blister off, wrapped it and sent us to the burns hospital 20 miles away.
Only recently back from there and will be there every 3 days for as many weeks to get the dressing changed and so on.
Feel so guilty and also completely panicked social services will now be involved as I could have prevented this happening.
There were lots of safeguarding questions at both hospitals and both asking if we had social services involved prior to this ( we haven't ) but none said they were going to contact them but just don't know what to think.
My poor little girl.

OP posts:
blueskyinmarch · 19/12/2016 17:08

You won't be persecuted on the basis of that at all. If, and only if, SS do visit they would hear exactly what you have said on here. I expect they will see caring parents who are horrified by what happened. You wouldn't be vilified at all. I rather suspect you are not going to be visited by them at all but if you are then you just need to be honest and open. SS visit families every single day for a variety of reasons and are satisfied that the child has not come to any harm. Please stop worrying yourself about this.

UnbornMortificado · 19/12/2016 17:09

So you sound really anxious Sad

Honestly a verbal 6 year old can back up what happened easily. Accidents happen and I bet it isn't exactly a weekly occurrence.

DD1 dropped a phone charger on her face and gave herself a black eye (don't ask me how) She was able to tell her teacher what had happened and we heard nothing further. Same DD with the currently broken fingers incidentally.

TheSparrowhawk · 19/12/2016 17:09

OP there is a serious problem here, but it's not the accident, it's your anxiet, it's totally out of control.

Children have accidents all the time. This was a nasty, painful one, but not at all unusual. You are not expected to watch your child every second of the day, it is totally expected that things might go wrong now and again, that's why children's A and E even exists!

You should get help for your anxiety asap - it's not at anywhere near a normal level and will damage your relationship with your child in the long run.

TheSparrowhawk · 19/12/2016 17:09

anxiety

lyricaldancer · 19/12/2016 17:13

Stop worrying, OP! Flowers
It's highly unlikely you'll receive a visit based on information you've given us. Even if you did (and I don't think it likely) you would be fine also.

abbsisspartacus · 19/12/2016 17:16

Did you let your child explain what happened? IMHO they don't get too concerned if the child can state what happened in there own words without prompting or correcting by the adult

My ds (again) tripped over and belted his face scratched his arm and leg etc it did come up at the child protection meeting (for something else) but it was child gave consistent account and we believe it was a genuine accident bearing in mind he bruised half his forehead round by his eye and had a huge lump! It really looked bad and I was wetting myself over it because I let him tell them what happened they were fine

Beaching · 19/12/2016 17:17

Smashed forehead

Two broken arms

A drunk toddler

Glass in a hand

Burnt fingers

Never had a SS or HV call

Mrscog · 19/12/2016 17:19

I don't think there's any rule about not letting DC in the kitchen either. We have no gates and mine have always been in there with me. Dangers are out of reach and I move them if I'm carrying something boiling etc.

A stairgate for a 6 yo sounds OTT.

DipsyLaLa22 · 19/12/2016 17:24

If anyone was suspicious, they would have contacted SS at the time and informed you that they were doing so. If they were very concerned, your child would not have been discharged.

I worked in a burns unit for a while, the questions have to be asked but kids are kids, right? One thing to letting a toddler roam around a kitchen, but a 6 year old? Easily done. I usually felt so sorry for the parents, they always looked so pained and guilty.

I think you are worrying far too much.

haveacupoftea · 19/12/2016 17:24

Please stop worrying. SS are very unlikely to intervene if this is an isolated incident and steps were taken to treat the injury (which they were).

SS are there to protect children at serious risk of harm, not to investigate minor accidents at home.

Italiangreyhound · 19/12/2016 17:24

Our daughter ran into a wall aged 18 months and we went to A and E. The Health visitor was told and just asked how she was.

It sounds like a normal, very unfortunate accident.

Poor dd and poor you.

Stay calm.

Kids do the weirdest things. Just stick to the truth and try not to worry.

Hope she is fully recovered soon and that she learns not to climb there again.

Flowers
SpaceDinosaur · 19/12/2016 17:56

scared

Take a massively deep breath.

Your child had an accident. An accident. A not on purpose thing happened.

Don't talk over your daughter. Any time a question about what has happened is asked let her answer. It's all about remaining truthful. Don't talk over her or for her.

Of course you feel awful.
She's hurt.
She's received care, good care from the best people possible.
I am certain that she's learnt from this about climbing. Especially in the kitchen.

If SS do contact you it will be an enquiry and a chat. Let your DD do all the talking. Don't be afraid as you have nothing to hide.
Be honest

Mermaidinthesea · 19/12/2016 18:01

My DS rolled off the bed and burnt his whole foot badly in a hot bowl of soup I had left there for 5 seconds stupidly, nobody referred us to social services.

Wolfiefan · 19/12/2016 18:04

No one would persecute you for not having eyes on a school age child for every second of the day. This wasn't an accident you could predict.
Are there other things you are concerned that SS would be interested in?

Original poster
Soscared100 · 19/12/2016 18:06

Yes she is well able to say all that happened thankfully
I just wish I could rewind the clock

OP posts:
RichardBucket · 19/12/2016 18:09

I get it, OP. Feeling that any sort of 'authority figure' disapproves of me is massively anxiety-inducing, even if I know I'm not in the wrong.

As each hour and day goes by, you'll feel calmer. Nothing's going to happen to you and nobody thinks you're a bad parent.

specialsubject · 19/12/2016 18:18

Six is old enough to know not to dick about climbing on things or to mess about in kitchens. No doubt you have told her many times, and now she has learnt why you told her not to be silly.

No real harm done and thank goodness you had the presence of mind for the correct first aid.

Any parent who gets a child to ten without an a and e visit is very lucky.

Don't worry. If anxiety is an issue, seek help. You did all the right things.

BratFarrarsPony · 19/12/2016 18:26

" thank goodness you had the presence of mind for the correct first aid."

i dont want to make OP feel bad but putting vaseline on a burn is NOT 'correct first aid' is it?

Original poster
Soscared100 · 19/12/2016 18:28

Not sure what you mean by any other things they would be interested in - There is nothing aside from this incident at all
I hope every day I feel better but until her foot is back to normal I guess I will feel pretty down anyway

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 19/12/2016 18:30

Sorry I wondered if you were concerned that SS would visit and find things at home that aren't related to the accident.
It's normal to wish you can rewind the clock and stop your child from being hurt. It's normal to feel sad or a bit guilty.
It's not normal to fear persecution.

MrsMattBomer · 19/12/2016 18:32

We had this. After three visits they realised we weren't beating up the kids and they really were just clumsy and idiotic kids (they still are).

Must admit, DS2 falling backwards off the sofa and spraining his arm the exact way you would if you were trying to break it on purpose was inspired.

But yeah, don't worry about it - they may visit, they may not. They usually make a decision based on all sorts of things but these days I think they have to be more careful. At the end of the day, you know you did nothing wrong and I'm sure they'll be able to tell from how well you care the rest of the time for her that you're not abusing her.

sallysparrow157 · 19/12/2016 18:33

If I saw a kid with this injury I wouldn't even consider reporting it to social services. It was an accident, the history you gave was consistent with the injury, you have appropriate first aid and sought help when it didn't improve, the child is old enough to explain what happened.
I would give you some advice on safety in the home and, if you were as upset as you're seeming here i might make a point of mentioning on your discharge letter that you were really upset so could the health visitor give you a bell in a day or two just to make sure you were not beating yourself up about it all!

Original poster
Soscared100 · 19/12/2016 18:37

Oh no nothing that would worry me in that sense
Quite a normal family and no issues anywhere aside from this one visit - only other a&e visits were when she was much younger when she had bronchitis
I think the questions just threw me especially at the burns usit when they said due to it being a burn they have to ask certain safeguarding questions, I was really shocked and was already in shock after what had happened.

OP posts:
deckthehellswithballsofholly · 19/12/2016 18:38

OP.

I had to take my then 6 year old to A&E after he scalded himself with a cafetiere.

That DH was letting him plunge for him despite me saying several times not to.

DS was only too pleased to tell the A&E staff with the story of Mummy throwing it out of the kitchen window closely followed by the coffee grounds.

Yes I did have a phone call but as I had taken appropriate action no further action was necessary

headinhands · 19/12/2016 18:43

Op you do sound overly worried. Do you tend to be anxious? Have you noticed your anxiety getting worse recently. If so please see your GP and talk to them about how anxious you are feeling and especially how extreme your reaction to the thought of SS was. It's not an uncommon phobia for parents but it's usually indicative of high anxiety at a level that you shouldn't put up with

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