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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect social services after 6 year old burnt foot on cooker? Feel horrendous

280 replies

Soscared100 · 19/12/2016 13:10

Title says it all really
Am petrified social services will now be involved after google searching what happens next
My 6 year old climbed onto the kitchen side last night and stood on one of the electric hobs.
It had been turned off for approx 10 mins as was making her milk for bed and she went out there saying she was getting a cup off the side, instead she climbed up to get a different cup from the cupboard.
After an hour running under water it was only red so we followed the advice on the NHS website and applied Vaseline once completely cooled and wrapped in cling film and gave calpol but shortly after I noticed the blister covered 1/3 of her foot.
I feel sick even writing it as I just never thought she would do this, she isn't even a climber and we only took our baby gates off the kitchen a few months ago as she could undo them.
Called NHS direct once I noticed the size of the blister when she had fallen asleep and I was able to remove the cling film and we were told to go to A&E who cut the blister off, wrapped it and sent us to the burns hospital 20 miles away.
Only recently back from there and will be there every 3 days for as many weeks to get the dressing changed and so on.
Feel so guilty and also completely panicked social services will now be involved as I could have prevented this happening.
There were lots of safeguarding questions at both hospitals and both asking if we had social services involved prior to this ( we haven't ) but none said they were going to contact them but just don't know what to think.
My poor little girl.

OP posts:
Original poster
Soscared100 · 26/12/2016 06:36

I'm really surprised that a follow up would be 2 weeks later
If they thought someone was capable of hurting a child, why on earth would they wait 2 weeks before making contact

OP posts:
Serana · 26/12/2016 06:37

How? By advising caution and informing op that a mn barrister has said the focus is on removal rather than support?

Serana · 26/12/2016 06:42

My 06:37 post was meant for Restless.

Oswin · 26/12/2016 06:43

You are taking it out of context. It has fuck all to do with this situation.

Less support as in not putting children in foster care for over a year while waiting for parents to get clean.

Or keeping kids in foster for years while a mother goes back to abusive man again and again.

Ss don't have the resources to offer as million chances to parents, they will offer support but if you fuck it up then that's it.

But that is absolutely nothing to do with op. She doesn't need help or support. She might not Even get s visit.

Serana · 26/12/2016 06:44

OP, you're probably right. If they did think someone was harming a child, they wouldn't wait 2 weeks.

Original poster
Soscared100 · 26/12/2016 06:57

I didn't mean to cause an argument by starting this thread
Everyone has s different opinion on what SS srr there for which I understand
As I've never had any dealings with them I'm in the dark shout it all really hence posting here

OP posts:
Serana · 26/12/2016 07:12

Okay, I hold my hands up. My own fear of SS got the better of me, i shouldn't relay that fear to others. That was wrong and I apologise.

Serana · 26/12/2016 07:19

OP, apologies for getting carried away. Wishing a good recovery for dd's foot.

MyWineTime · 26/12/2016 09:11

Why would a recording made without permission or knowledge be inadmissible?
Because it's far too easy to edit or manipulate. When you are making a recording for evidence purposes you have to tell the other person, make 2 copies of the recording and give the other person a copy as soon as you finish recording.

They pretend to be on your side to get you to drop yourself in it.
Their aim is to get to the truth (which people often hide) in order to ensure the safety of a child.

Original poster
Soscared100 · 26/12/2016 09:35

Serena have you had a bad experience with them?
I hope all is ok now

OP posts:
Nicknameofawesome · 26/12/2016 10:40

It seems to vary a lot if you get no visit, a hv call or a social worker call. I suspect there is no set criteria as if there was an identifiable tick list that triggered it then surely it would make it easier for abusers to identify and avoid?

Even if a social worker calls it doesn't mean anything. As far as I'm aware You aren't classed as having social services involvement unless they raise concerns and it becomes a regular visit.

She's 6. I have a 6 year old. It would not occur to me that I would need to stop him climbing units for a cup if I knew a cup was within reach on the side. He goes to get things off the draining board all the time. It's not an accident you should have foreseen as it was just a random unpredictable decision from her. She will also be able to tell them that.

Most of us has been in a&e and faced the questions, some have had visits. It's hard and the system is far from perfect but the fact is that this process saves kids lives and that's reason enough to support it. You have nothing to fear.

Nicknameofawesome · 26/12/2016 10:51

I also hope she heals fast and it hasn't ruined Christmas. Remember you've done nothing wrong. I've not had stair gates for years. Free range six year olds are fine they just occasionally made stupid choices, as indeed do adults.

Serana · 26/12/2016 10:59

Yes op, I did have a bad experience but everything is ok now, thanks. And there's also many, many families who have had positive experiences, so don't worry. Sorry if I upset you.

Original poster
Soscared100 · 26/12/2016 11:46

I'm sorry you had a bad time
The stress must be awful I imagine as I've been very stressed and worried about this and haven't even had an incline if they will visit or not
I am glad all is okay now for you
To the other posters, it does seem to vary and I guess a lot depends on what the doctor thinks when he first sees the child, maybe the age of the child is a factor too as they couldn't really send a health visitor out to me to advise me on safe proofing the house for a 6 year old I wouldn't have thought.
I am hoping they would have informed me if social services would be notified and i also would hope that would be done quite quickly not after a week of her being at home as normal

OP posts:
LadyFlumpalot · 26/12/2016 12:28

I stuck my hand on top of a recently turned off electric hob a few years ago, no idea why, it vaguely crossed my mind that I wanted to see how warm it was Blush

Went to the GP who asked lots of questions about who I live with, my relationship with DH and relatives and if I felt safe at home.

It's all standard procedure I believe, and to be honest I'm quite glad that the questions are asked.

LadyFlumpalot · 26/12/2016 12:35

Also, just this morning we had a very lucky escape to not be heading to A+E with 6yo DS who decided to sneak downstairs in the early hours to open one of his Xmas presents (in that awful crimped closed plastic shit) with a carving knife...

He got a chair, pulled it into the kitchen, climbed up on the side, got the knife from the high cupboard and cut the present out.

Knife slipped and stabbed his thumb by the nail.

Could have been a whole lot worse, and when I realised what had happened I felt awful and like a shit mum.

daddyorscience · 26/12/2016 12:44

My DS (then 3) was with his mum, fell over a balloon, she thought he'd broken his leg, took him to a&e. No dice. Brought him to me, wouldn't walk, couldn't bear weight..I took him to the hospital again, in with him for a week, all manner of tests, x-ray's, questions.. Turns out it was a deep muscle injury, and it took a long time time to heal..I had a couple of follow up appointments, but that's it. Then to even it out, DD split her head open on "my" day, cue rushing her to a&e in a borrowed BMW, with a call to her mother to attend, blood all over the shop. Christ, did I feel awful.

As it was, her mum sighed and handed me a Jaffa Cake, and drove us back to return the car. Kids are kids, accidents happen...I wouldn't worry too much, honestly

Original poster
Soscared100 · 26/12/2016 13:21

Thankyou, I really hope so as I'm feeling awful enough about it all without someone asking me questions that I can't change the answer to

OP posts:
3luckystars · 27/12/2016 10:43

All the other injured children at A and E have had accidents too.
How many paediatric wards in the hospitals are full today and every day of the year. Just think about every child you have seen or heard of with stitches or crutches. ACCIDENTS.
Children have accidents.

Original poster
Soscared100 · 27/12/2016 10:48

Hi, yes I realise that, I guess we have been lucky really that she's never had an accident before and only ever needed to see the doctor / hospital for becoming unwell.

OP posts:
Original poster
Soscared100 · 27/12/2016 15:15

B

OP posts:
Original poster
Soscared100 · 30/12/2016 19:28

I still haven't heard anything so as its now 2 weeks tomorrow can I expect not to?

OP posts:
lyricaldancer · 30/12/2016 22:15

Are you still bumping this up, OP? You may still hear from somebody, you may not, but from what you told us you have nothing to worry about.

Vapours · 30/12/2016 22:39

I've name changed since last on your thread, OP. Fingers crossed you won't hear anything now, can't see them leaving it 2 weeks. Therefore they know it was just an accident, so try to stop worrying. Flowers

Original poster
Soscared100 · 31/12/2016 12:54

It really is not knowing that is bothering me more but I'm hopeful they knew full well it sad sh accident that wasn't really avoidable even if they do now

OP posts:
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