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AIBU?

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Original poster

to expect social services after 6 year old burnt foot on cooker? Feel horrendous

280 replies

Soscared100 · 19/12/2016 13:10

Title says it all really
Am petrified social services will now be involved after google searching what happens next
My 6 year old climbed onto the kitchen side last night and stood on one of the electric hobs.
It had been turned off for approx 10 mins as was making her milk for bed and she went out there saying she was getting a cup off the side, instead she climbed up to get a different cup from the cupboard.
After an hour running under water it was only red so we followed the advice on the NHS website and applied Vaseline once completely cooled and wrapped in cling film and gave calpol but shortly after I noticed the blister covered 1/3 of her foot.
I feel sick even writing it as I just never thought she would do this, she isn't even a climber and we only took our baby gates off the kitchen a few months ago as she could undo them.
Called NHS direct once I noticed the size of the blister when she had fallen asleep and I was able to remove the cling film and we were told to go to A&E who cut the blister off, wrapped it and sent us to the burns hospital 20 miles away.
Only recently back from there and will be there every 3 days for as many weeks to get the dressing changed and so on.
Feel so guilty and also completely panicked social services will now be involved as I could have prevented this happening.
There were lots of safeguarding questions at both hospitals and both asking if we had social services involved prior to this ( we haven't ) but none said they were going to contact them but just don't know what to think.
My poor little girl.

OP posts:
BratFarrarsPony · 19/12/2016 14:30

Anyway it is done now. Just check first aid guidelines.
The thing to do is not to worry too much, as I said, even if SS do come, it is not a disaster.

Fluffycloudland77 · 19/12/2016 14:33

I think induction hobs are safer with kids, they don't get hot & cool down quickly.

MagicChanges · 19/12/2016 14:36

Another social worker here (though retired) soscared please listen to what other social workers are saying because they are talking sense. Why on earth would you be referred to children's services - this was an accident. The only time medics make referrals is when the account given by the parent and the actual injury don't match at all and there is a suspicion that the injury could be non-accidental. That is not the case with your child. And believe me social workers are struggling with trying to manage overwhelming case loads and will have no interest in visiting a family where a child has had an accident.

I can understand you feel guilty because your child got burned but accidents do happen, but I think you are letting your thoughts run away with themselves.............stop - forget social workers and concentrate on looking after your DD which I'm sure you will. I always feel really frustrated and saddened that so many people on these threads think social workers are ready to pounce and even try to remove children. It's just not like that!

longestlurkerever · 19/12/2016 14:37

The questions about SS being previously involved are standard at A&E. I do know a family where their little one got burned and SS did come to visit but just to check and they left totally satisfied that all was well. They aren't trying to catch anyone out and they totally understand accidents happen. Of course you aren't to blame in this instance. You didn't expect that to happen.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 19/12/2016 14:38

I'm sorry this happened to your DD but it was just an unfortunate accident, I don't see how you could have known she might do that.

It seems you might find it helpful talking through what happened with us and so really if a social worker was to follow up on your DD would it really be so different going through it with her?

I hope your DD gets better soon.

longestlurkerever · 19/12/2016 14:39

Actually it may have been the HV rather than SS as the child was still a baby. Either way, my friend wasn't made to feel bad and understood they were just checking everything was OK.

WeAllHaveWings · 19/12/2016 14:42

Accidents happen, if SS do call or visit it just to check everything else is as it should be. If it is you don't have anything to worry about.

DSIL had SS a few times for dn who regularly dislocated joints (later found out she had shallow sockets), needed stitches twice for falls and when they thought she drank a bottle of anti-b's. They came, chatted, saw they had just been unluckly with a few accidents in a short period of time and everything was fine and left.

Hope you dd heals quickly.

Bauble16 · 19/12/2016 14:45

I wouldn't worry. She's 6 not 2, it's not neglect or abuse. Just an accident. Children of that age do climb :)

DearMrDilkington · 19/12/2016 14:45

Social services will know it was an accident so please don't worry about that.

Your poor dd though! That sounds so sore, at least it didn't happen when something was boiling on the cooker. Must be a nightmare for her to walk though. Really hope she makes a speedy recovery, I hate burns!Flowers

Newbrummie · 19/12/2016 14:47

My baby put her hand on a storage heater at 18 months, I felt awful, she howled the house down. Nobody followed us up or grilled us it was clearly an accident. Don't worry about it

blueskyinmarch · 19/12/2016 14:50

I am a SW and i can say that in general we won't become involved if a child has had an accident. The times we get involved is if the story given doesn't match with the injuries and there is a concerns that someone has hurt them on purpose. I guess the worry with your DD’s accident is that it is on her foot. Most children it would be their hands or arm but burning feet might suggest that it was done on purpose. However you have given an account of her climbing up to get a cup and at 6 your DD was probably able to reiterate that account. I guess there might be an issue with her not being monitored whilst in the kitchen but i know as a parent you can’t watch them every second and children do the most stupid things. This may be passed on to SW. I cannot assure you that it won’t. But if it is, you need to be clear and consistent in your account of what happened and ensure they know that you can protect your child in future.

UnbornMortificado · 19/12/2016 14:53

DD grabbed the grill at two. Completely my own fault I left the gate open.

Took her to the GP in hysterics (pfb Blush) no follow up. She's 11 now very sporty quite a few broken bones (fingers last week) and we've never had any action.

orangepudding · 19/12/2016 14:55

My dd2s arm was once pulled out of her shoulder socket - dd1 yanked her arm when she was holding onto a sink. We had to go to a&e to have it manipulated back in. After seeing the dr we were asked to wait in the waiting areas as they wanted to check dd2 was usually no her arm, in reality I felt like they were watching us all interact to judge whether there were any concerns, we didn't hear from SS.

I hope your DD recovers soon.

orangepudding · 19/12/2016 14:56

It meant to say 'was using her arm'

Original poster
Soscared100 · 19/12/2016 15:02

I don't really understand how one burnt foot could possibly be done on purpose - surely they wouldn't just let us leave the hospital if they thought this?!
I just feel drained and sick and awful about it so the thought of an outside agency becoming involved because of it just makes me feel like shit

OP posts:
JugglingFromHereToThere · 19/12/2016 15:06

I think it's extremely unlikely that anyone would follow up this accident.
Stop worrying!

OpalTree · 19/12/2016 15:06

Please try not to worry. It would be different if a newborn got burned but you can't watch their every move at 6 years old. It was an accident and they will believe that. All children have accidents sometimes. Mine did. Any phone calls are just following procedure, not assuming you have done anything wrong. They know kids have accidents.

blueskyinmarch · 19/12/2016 15:11

Well it's not the part of the body that would normally come in contact with a hob so the medical staff might have to consider exactly how it happened. You have explained that she climbed up so the next question might be, why were you not watching what she was doing? They will just have run through very standard questions about it all. If they think what you said matches the injuries then they will not refer. If they have doubts they might. The fact that you were able to leave the hospital without any immediate investigation suggests to me that they are not considering it a child protection issue but they may pass it on to SS who may or may not come and have a chat with you. I am just going by cases that I have seen when I worked a a child protection social worker.

oldlaundbooth · 19/12/2016 15:13

As soon as you walked into A and E they would have been able to tell that there was no need to get SS involved.

Don't worry, you're a good parent.

iveburntthetoast · 19/12/2016 15:15

My DD is 6 (almost 7) and we haven't had the safety gates up for years. I don't think uou need to go back to that because of one incident--I'd be surprised if HV and SS believed that you were at fault to not have them by that age.

DisneyMillie · 19/12/2016 15:27

Please don't blame yourself - at 6 you wouldn't have a stair gate up - I've a 7 year old and neither I nor any of my friends have had them for years.

Assuming no SN I also wouldn't expect you to be in the same room / supervising at all times. My dd gets her own breakfast (cereal) in the kitchen while I'm in a different room feeding her baby sister reasonably regularly.

It's just an unfortunate accident

Firefly2002 · 19/12/2016 15:36

Oh OP, I'm so sorry. I totally sympathise with you - my toddler DD suffered a burn on her hand about a year ago and I felt sick. I still feel sick thinking about it now. It was a complete accident caused by momentary stupidity from me but I felt like an absolutely shit mother and afterwards I was petrified that SS were going to come and take her away.

I took her to our local walk-in centre, who referred us to the burns unit, where I was quizzed by a nurse and a doctor about what happened and then DD was stripped off and bathed before the burn was dressed. It was only afterwards I realised they were checking my story and checking her for any other marks. I wanted to cry at the idea that they could think I would hurt my child. But actually, with time and hindsight, what happened that day gave me a bit of confidence in the system. I know their questions weren't a judgment on me personally, they were procedure. That procedure could save a child who is being abused and is therefore a good thing, but equally they can recognise when something is a genuine accident.

By the time they bandaged DD's hand up, the doctor was telling me not to beat myself up and telling me about all the scrapes and accidents she got into as a child. I got a phone call from the health visitor the next day and there was no questioning or suspicion, just making sure DD was okay. It's easy to say that now, a year later, but at the time I couldn't sleep and kept flashing back to the injury and then imagining in vivid detail SS turning up at the door and taking her into care. I know what you're going through right now but please, please try and relax. You sound like a very loving mother - just focus on your DD and getting her better.

downwardfacingdog · 19/12/2016 15:44

I haven't had stair gates since mine were about 2. It's normal for a 6 yo to be unsupervised at times. Please try not to worry, you've done nothing wrong. Flowers

Original poster
Soscared100 · 19/12/2016 15:53

Not ashamed to say I'm sitting her crying at the thought of not only what has happened but also the fact that completely strangers have taken time out of their day to reply to me.
Thankyou so much for that.
They didn't strip her off at all and she was able to tell them herself what happened and I just confirmed it really.
I guess it's just the not knowing what happens next is adding to my worry of seeing her in pain knowing if i had been in the kitchen at the same time as her it wouldn't have happened so all thoughts racing through my head.
Shes generally very careful and not a daring child so I just never ever thought this would happen.
I really thought it was just a minor red mark to start with, the blistering seems to come on so suddenly.
I wish I hadn't waited at all now and just gone as soon as it happened as maybe they could have done something differently if that was the case.
I just feel well and truly shit about the whole thing.
She won't walk on it which is understandable but the burns unit said she must or else the tendons tense up making it hard for her to walk after its all over so that's yet another hurdle.

OP posts:
BrieAndChilli · 19/12/2016 16:07

My children have had various injuries over the years and we have never had social services or even the health visitor round

When DS1 was about 2 he was climbing on his rocking chair, slipped and slammed his mouth on it ripping his frenelum which is a common injury from being punched in the face!!
Around the same age he got into the recycling bin and cut his finger badly on a tin
Both boys have had foreheads and chins stitched up a couple of time from falling over
A couple of summers ago DD who was 6 then injured herself 4 days in a row - she ran into her brother at soft play and had a big black eye, next day went over on her ankle and the following day went flying down a big bank at the park and bent her fingers back, a friend who was a nurse and there at the time recommended getting her seen so we went to minor injuries, fingers were fine but there were a lot of questions about her black eye! I was sure someone would be paying us a visit but no one ever did