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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To HATE Christmas?

172 replies

Nikitra · 18/12/2016 18:45

I've been steadily going off Christmas for years. The stress, the expense, the falseness of it all ...

Today has been spent rushing around trying to buy last minute presents as I'm working from tomorrow until Christmas Eve, as is DH. Packed out shops, manic car parks, endless withdrawals from the cash machines to put into cards ...

DH spent all morning writing out Christmas cards slotting £30 a time into "important cards". We then went and bought a few presents for friends which the dog has promptly wrecked whilst I was in the shower. Fuck knows when I'll get time to replace them and of course ... more expense.

The whole idea pisses me off too. We're atheists yet because we're British we're more or less forced into celebrating a religious period which sees us running around like idiots, spending shit loads of money and writing out endless cards which will be thrown into the bin in a couple of weeks! So pointless!!!

This weekend my mum brought out cards. She had put £50 in ours. We have put £50 in hers. What is the point???

I know I sound like a right miserable old cow but am I really on my own with this?

I'm working every day next week yet now need to magic the time to re-buy the presents that the dog wrecked, buy cards, go "visiting" and go for coffee with various friends who have requested coffee dates in order to exchange cards and gifts. I just want to disappear!!

I'm a total introvert / antisocial at the best of times so this time of year stresses me to the very brim.

AIBU to think it's all a bit ridiculous?

OP posts:

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 22/12/2016 21:15

It's so nice when people pile in to tell us all how wrong we are....

Bauble16 · 22/12/2016 21:22

This is posted in AIBU, it was a question. It's not a thread on a support part of the website for those who don't like Christmas. If it was id have not commented at all. But the OP asked and AIBU is pretty blunt, if those who aren't a fan of Christmas want a space to vent, discuss not liking Christmas. Make a thread about that, don't ask if your been unreasonable for not liking Xmas or if it's not the OP oposing opinions of those who like it, those who dislike Xmas don't derail the thread and act all confused and angry when someone replies.

Bauble16 · 22/12/2016 21:24

It's so nice when people pile in to tell us all how wrong we are....

It's not even your thread, somebody asked the question which of course is going to spark different opinions. AIBU is usually for discussions and debate, hardly the place to start a support group

Poole5 · 22/12/2016 21:28

A smaller-value, thoughtful gift that shows caring would surely be much more worthwhile

A lot of which end up on eBay or in charity shops after Christmas. Pretty joyless too

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 22/12/2016 21:30

Wow. Just wow.

malificent7 · 22/12/2016 21:32

Jolity should not be forced. Christmas makes me feel jolly regardless but for manybit is very tough.

If i didntbhave dd i would volunteer in a soup kitchen on the 25th. I think the giving esp to charities is especially lovely!

sansoucitherednosedcariboo · 22/12/2016 21:38

You're buying into something that retailers call Christmas because they want/need buyers money to exist and make a profit. It's not Christmas. Celebrating the birth of someone (Christ, the son of God) you don't believe in is hypocritical at best. So why do it? Not just you but everyone who doesn't believe in celebrating the birth of Christ. Celebrate winter solstice instead, for example. Make up your own celebration; give gifts if you want, or just to your DC but don't buy into this hideous charade people call Christmas.

kittymamma · 22/12/2016 21:39

It is very hard if you dislike Christmas as there is no escaping it. For that problem, I would suggest a family conversation regarding the stress behind it. Perhaps a Secret Santa between the grown-ups with a limit of £20 and then a limit on the kids too. This means less gifts to buy and less stress. I would suggest that ebay and amazon are your friend! No crazy shopping! Perhaps don't sell it to your family in the way you have here though, people will judge but you do have a point.

Your bigger problem is the dog. My dog does this and it drives me insane. You really need to work out what prompts this behaviour. With our dog, it is caused by her being locked away from us or from one of us leaving the house, she suffers with separation anxiety. Perhaps this is your dog's issue. We deal with this by having a crate for her when we can't be with her and spending time training her. Maybe you should do a little research on it as it has helped us massively and now I do tend to know when she is likely to do something she shouldn't.

bunnylove99 · 22/12/2016 21:42

YANBU. Why don't you just opt out of it? You are aethiest anyway. In the coming year you could buy special gifts for those you truly care about at their birthdays, an make clear this is instead of feeling pressured into participating in a religious festival you don't enjoy and don't believe in.

sansoucitherednosedcariboo · 22/12/2016 21:45

My point exactly, Bunnylove.

kittymamma · 22/12/2016 21:46

Celebrating the birth of someone (Christ, the son of God) you don't believe in is hypocritical at best. So why do it? Not just you but everyone who doesn't believe in celebrating the birth of Christ.

Yawn I get so sick of this comment. I am also sick of responding to it, so I will leave it to the British Humanist Association

Mindtrope · 22/12/2016 21:46

bunny, it's not a religious festival for many people.

Empress13 · 22/12/2016 21:49

Gotta ask OP what did the dog destroy?

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 22/12/2016 21:53

I don't hate it but I can't be arsed anymore!

I am working anyway so Christmas will be as low key as I can get but I hate the forced jollity in tv programmes and all around. This year, I genuinely can't wait for January. Bit miserable but I can't help it, I'm just not feeling it this year.

I make an effort for the dses but they are older and don't care as much. As long as they've got their pressies.......

So the Christmas highlight will be nice cheeses and nibbles for me.

At least I'm not stressed and panicking I guess!

Mindtrope · 22/12/2016 21:58

kitty, love that link, So funny to see that people think christmas telly is more important than jesus.

sansoucitherednosedcariboo · 22/12/2016 21:59

Yawn away. You can just keep spending yourself into near poverty, pushing through endless stressed-out, angry crowds to do the spending, giving gifts that most don't need or even want, stuffing wads of cash into envelopes to people you rarely see... have fun!

zukiecat · 22/12/2016 23:16

I celebrate Yule, not Christmas

The Winter Solstice and the beginning of the return of the light to the land

Much, much nicer (IMO) than Christmas

Mindtrope · 23/12/2016 07:12

zukie, I celebrate both.

Christmas is an important cultural and secular festival, and has meaning for me as a pagan. It also has meaning for christians if that's their take on it. It's big enough to share- no one owns christmas.

toomanypetals · 23/12/2016 08:16

It's the black and white thinking that's dysfunctional.

Some people seem to think it's forced 24 hour happiness and mountains of presents or its shit.

It's a mixture. I feel sad sometimes, miss loved ones that have gone. I find three young excited, wired children exhausting sometimes.

But I also find joy in, quite often, the simplest things. A nice piece of music. A nice meal with loved ones. Children excited. A good film. Doing something charitable. Days off work with no get up. Lights. Snuggling down with dh and a good glass of wine.

If you can't find one shred of joy in anything over the festive period, even amongst the bad bits, then something is amiss.

My adoptive father ruined every childhood Christmas for me with this extreme thinking. Like he almost felt if he enjoyed anything, he'd given in to it all. So he hated everything. Yet he did nothing to prepare for the day and was a miserly old git. So he couldn't claim it was spending and stress. He was horrible on the day.

Looking back I don't give a hoot about the presents I got or didn't get. I just wish I'd seen my parents enjoy the things I do with my kids. Making little crafts, Carol singing, films etc.

We're estranged now and he'll be having the best Christmases ever no doubt...

FarAwayHills · 23/12/2016 08:21

While I don't hate Christmas as such I agree with OP about the stress of it all. I find there is pressure to make it all perfect and also find the idea that you have to be happy and joyful on one particular day a bit forced.

It's all very well others saying be organised and choose 'thoughtful' gifts rather than cash. I am rubbish at thinking of what to buy people it really stresses me out. I try my best to be organised but it is not always possible with work and a busy life. People being smug about having everything wrapped and prepped in October cab just do one

I also find the list thing for grown ups a bit daft. People are just buying things for each other off a list like ordering from a catalogue and think it would be easier all round if everyone just bought whatever they wanted themselves instead of all the hassle of shopping for each other.

Christmas should be about family time, presents and excitement for children and enjoying lovely food together. I just have to keep telling myself this.

Bauble16 · 23/12/2016 08:31

Don't make assumptions. If Christmas was always like that nobody would like it!

I'm cool as a cucumber this year, fully organised and it's lovely. 3 years ago I was stressed to the max and it was awful. It's how u plan. Now if your not into it then why when give it a second thought? If I wasn't into it i just wouldn't celebrate it

zukiecat · 23/12/2016 10:48

I agree Mindtrope

People can celebrate how they want to, maybe I worded my reply wrong, I just don't like being told I must love Christmas, and my own personal beliefs are wrong, which is what the woman at work was saying

If I could drive and weather permitting O'd take myself and a picnic off to a stone circle on the 25th!

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