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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To HATE Christmas?

172 replies

Nikitra · 18/12/2016 18:45

I've been steadily going off Christmas for years. The stress, the expense, the falseness of it all ...

Today has been spent rushing around trying to buy last minute presents as I'm working from tomorrow until Christmas Eve, as is DH. Packed out shops, manic car parks, endless withdrawals from the cash machines to put into cards ...

DH spent all morning writing out Christmas cards slotting £30 a time into "important cards". We then went and bought a few presents for friends which the dog has promptly wrecked whilst I was in the shower. Fuck knows when I'll get time to replace them and of course ... more expense.

The whole idea pisses me off too. We're atheists yet because we're British we're more or less forced into celebrating a religious period which sees us running around like idiots, spending shit loads of money and writing out endless cards which will be thrown into the bin in a couple of weeks! So pointless!!!

This weekend my mum brought out cards. She had put £50 in ours. We have put £50 in hers. What is the point???

I know I sound like a right miserable old cow but am I really on my own with this?

I'm working every day next week yet now need to magic the time to re-buy the presents that the dog wrecked, buy cards, go "visiting" and go for coffee with various friends who have requested coffee dates in order to exchange cards and gifts. I just want to disappear!!

I'm a total introvert / antisocial at the best of times so this time of year stresses me to the very brim.

AIBU to think it's all a bit ridiculous?

OP posts:
gottachangethename1 · 22/12/2016 18:16

In total agreement with you op. TV gives the message that Christmas is jolly for all, I think it puts enormous stress on many, money, prep, hours of being stuck with people you may not see for most of the year. My job involves working with vulnerable teens, It's heartbreaking this time of year, reminding them of their own dysfunction families and loneliness. Roll on January!!

Poole5 · 22/12/2016 18:37

The problem is women care too much about Christmas. A lot of men don't

Women end up stressing themselves out and then complaining. If your heart is not in it, then don't do it

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 22/12/2016 19:25

No the problem is that everyone is entitled to like or dislike anything but apparently it's 'dysfunctional' to hate Christmas. My work colleagues decorate the office, everyone talks about it, presents are exchanged, mince pies eaten... I usually take time off beforehand but wasn't able to this year

Squiff85 · 22/12/2016 19:29

Why don't you buy a present for your Mum? Just stuffing money in an envelope, where is the joy in that?!

You aren't even trying to enjoy it!

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 22/12/2016 19:45

Money is great and saves you buying something the other person hates

Bauble16 · 22/12/2016 19:48

I'm sorry but those having a great Christmas shouldn't feel bad or have to listen to the awful situations of others. I have a debilitating illness at times, I don't expect those without it to pussy foot around me and never experience joy because I happen to suffer.

I bet some of you have luxury items, nice homes. Most of us have something that others would deem a luxury or excessive. A waste even and if only we all donated it all to a good cause and we lived minimally others would suffer less right? No. It doesn't work like that.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 22/12/2016 19:54

I don't go round telling everyone I hate Christmas. But it is allowed not to don Christmas pjs, antlers and start singing Christmas songs throughout December...

And it's not about the consumerism necessarily - it's about being forced to be jolly etc

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 22/12/2016 19:54

And I'm sorry you are ill but you don't have the right to judge other people for not liking something

Lottapianos · 22/12/2016 19:57

Livia, my mental health suffers at this time of year too. I hear what you say about ditching Christmas not being an option. It's just not that simple for all of us. It's a relentless, overwhelming time of year if you're struggling because it's so hard to get away from the whole Christmas 'thing'..

People who love Christmas and think those who don't are 'dysfuctional' etc, maybe this isn't the thread for you. Plenty of Christmas cheer elsewhere on MN. You're only making people feel worse on here.

Bauble16 · 22/12/2016 20:13

I'm not judging anybody for not liking it. I've had many of miserable moments at xmas, I know it's not easy. But I see a lot of judgement of those who dislike it against those that do. Sometimes Xmas brings joy too and if it lifts the spirits of a struggling person then it shouldn't be frowned against.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 22/12/2016 20:27

Where is the judgement for people who like Christmas? The only judgement I have seen on here is people saying it's dysfunctional to dislike it etc. I don't give a shit if people love it, it just isn't for me as it makes me ill.

I'm allowed to feel like that just as you are allowed to feel how you feel. But judging people for not liking a particular thing is cunty.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 22/12/2016 20:30

As for 'lifting the spirits of a struggling person' can you not at least acknowledge that it does the opposite too. One of my family members lost her child at Christmas - she hates this time of year, is she allowed not to find the joy of the season?

Blinkyblink · 22/12/2016 20:33

You're Christmas sounds shit OP. I don't blame you for hating it.
But
It's your own fault. It's what you make it.
My Christmas is absolutely wonderful!

Blinkyblink · 22/12/2016 20:34

Your

Blinkyblink · 22/12/2016 20:36

"Forced to be jolly'

Seriously. I'm presuming you're an adult.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 22/12/2016 20:39

Blinky ODFOD

Are you always this much of an arse or is it a Christmas thing?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 22/12/2016 20:40

I love the way the people on this thread who love Christmas are trying to convince us we are wrong by having a go and implying there's something odd about it Grin

Bauble16 · 22/12/2016 20:43

Livia seriously get a grip. As I said I've no issue with people disliking it. People have their reasons. I personally suffer depression and anxiety and Christmas can be hard but it's also something I love. That's my story and I'm not sure why your been so defensive. If u don't like it that's your perrogative. My point was to all those making out celebrating it was in someway selfish or excessive considering the suffering of others. It wasn't a debate with those who have personal reasons they struggle at Christmas. I personally hate the pressure to be happy or festive. I avoid all that as trying too hard to feel a certain way acheives the opposite. But I do enjoy nice food, seeing my kids smile, socialising.

TeamAlphaFemale · 22/12/2016 20:44

I hate Christmas too, I find it stressful and a PITA. I don't judge or mind anyone else liking it but personally it's not my thing. As my DS gets older I will try to be festive but this year we don't even have a tree up and I couldn't care less. My parents are the same (mum born on Xmas day so she hates it!) so will try not to pass onto DS!

Blinkyblink · 22/12/2016 20:45

Merry Christmas Liv! Have a good one Xmas Smile

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 22/12/2016 20:47

Well that's lovely for you then Bauble

The contempt for those of us who don't like it is fairly clear.

This reminds me of a thread someone started discussing staying child free and what the positives were - all very nice and helpful until it was invaded by certain twats who decided to tell us all how wrong we were.

helpimitchy · 22/12/2016 20:48

Why are people who like xmas even on this thread? Confused

I went to Sainsbury's with dh to get food in and was glared at, squashed and shoved out of the way and it's not even xmas eve. I'm not going again, although I do need some cat soup, so I suppose I'll have to.

Dowser · 22/12/2016 21:00

I stopped doing cards ten years ago.
I haven't been pilloried ...yet
Several years ago I started to buy all the family panto tickets. We all go .
It's sort of become a tradition and the kids love it.
Then I bought everyone a gift...own worst enemy as I was cut down my work but I just love to give.
I do like a scaled down Christmas. One day or two if there other people in the family to see.

Our family had a tough time over the last ten years so it's a coming together and love and family.
We're one family member less this year. It's very sad but we must carry on.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 22/12/2016 21:02

People who love Christmas and think those who don't are 'dysfuctional' etc, maybe this isn't the thread for you. Plenty of Christmas cheer elsewhere on MN. You're only making people feel worse on here.

This ⬆️⬆️

showmeislands · 22/12/2016 21:10

There's no need to be giving cash and if that's mostly what you do, it will seem pretty joyless. Of course it's going to seem pointless to give 50 quid and receive 50 quid back from your mum. A smaller-value, thoughtful gift that shows caring would surely be much more worthwhile. Christmas could be a lot more enjoyable and stress-free if you plan further in advance with small nice gifts you might actually enjoy giving (by knowing the other person would really appreciate or be touched by them) rather than leaving it to the last minute and/or feeling obliged to give endless cash/cards, that's really not the point or necessary.

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