Thrown out of the pub last night. Advice please!

[Askedtoleave]

NC. Last night my friend and I met up for a catch up drink at a local pub I frequent every month or so, sometimes for food, sometimes just for drinks. A lot of tables had reserved signs on for diners as is usual. I found a table without a sign and we sat chatting for an hour over a drink.

Suddenly the bar manager came over and had brought plates of food assuming it was ours. I said, "that's not ours, we're not eating tonight". He said, "well get up then cos this food is for people who have reserved the table." I said that the table didn't have a reserved sign and he said, "get up". I told him that he wasn't even sorry. He was so rude and aggressive.

My friend and I got up and went to the bar. At no point did we refuse to leave the table, swear or raise our voices. He then came over and said he couldn't believe we didn't know the table was reserved. My friend told him we didn't want to have any more discussion, we just wanted to order another drink. He then said that he wouldn't serve us and asked us to leave the pub! We were completely shocked and humiliated. I've found the whole thing really upsetting. Two middle aged women thrown out of a busy pub! Most places would apologise for the misunderstanding and buy us a drink on the house!

AIBU to go to the pub today and speak to the landlord? My friends and family all use this pub and I want to give the pub the chance to redeem themselves. If he sides with the bar manager I wouldn't go there again.

Can anyone please advise what my next steps should be?

I'd also leave a negative review on TripAdvisor and FB.

Ala that's not quite fair, I tend to give establishments a chance to redeem themselves if they're a place I like and have been loyal to over the years.

Exactly Nineties and how does that theory explain rude female waiting staff too?

How we come across is rarely a true portrayal when it comes to being 'assertive' and confronting someone

I agree, but men can be a lot more "assertive" and get away with it, while women get told they are being aggressive and shrill and the like. Women are not allowed to be assertive, they are supposed to give way with grace.

Years ago I was in the queue for an ATM and a guy tried to push in. When I said could he please join the queue he told me I was an aggressive young lady. I suspect he would not have told a bloke that he was an aggressive young man.

It's our only pub! It's also local so can't do Trip Advisor.

When he said leave, we just turned and walked out. We weren't argumentative. Usually I'd ask to speak to superior etc. but this was so humiliating and out of proportion. We just walked out.

I am still confused about how the food arrived at the same time as the customers though. Perhaps they pre-ordered over the phone, but... who does that?

It doesn't mean people should be rude etc or is that OK in your book hmm Customers can say and do what they like as he works in a 'service industry'

You must be reading a different thread, Piglet because no one has said that.

You are also missing the point that the bar manager is putting the jobs of everyone who works in the business at risk. Most customers don't complain; they just don't go back. Local pubs are going under at a rate of knots - they can't afford to lose custom.

And, if the manager is this much of a tosser to customers, imagine what he is like to the staff who work for him.

Oh dear! He sounds a bit unhinged to be honest, I imagine it was extremely busy and he was under a lot of pressure and took it out on you.

Trip advisor is a good idea.
he might think twice then about being so rude ( and order more reserved signs as these are obviously in short supply)
he made the mistake and was taking it out on you.

Quim, most pubs have quite sophisticated till systems that can show the user all the tables that are unreserved. so the couple ordered food at the bar, this was processed through the till on the OP's table, they stayed to drink at the bar and when their food was ready a waitress gave them the heads up.

happens all the time in my pub, but this particular situation has never occurred. happily.

OP, I've found rude staff are often in direct proportion with how much of a monopoly they have on the market.

If it's your only pub surely there must be lots and lots of people who have been on the receiving end of his unreasonableness? I'd be tempted to set up some kind of space online where can share their experiences, then you can link the landlord to it and he won't have any choice but to deal with it, even if people are too meek to complain in person. Sounds like it'd be a lovely place without the gorilla.

Maybe that's just me though

That makes sense whiffle, although I'm mystified as to why people would rather stand at the bar to drink than sit at their table? Perhaps they were sitting outside with a fag.

since the op sat herself at that table, it won't have been taken off the till's list of available tables.

people do it quite a lot, I guess they get comfy on their stools

I think I'm going to leave it but ensure that I'm with dh when (if) I go back and let him stick up for me if there's any trouble. I can't be doing with more confrontation. It does pain me to give them my business.

Yes she sat the table Whiffle because it didnt have a reserved sign.So no matter what way it happened the manager was a knob.

whiffle didn't OP say there are no seats at the bar?

Not that any of this matters

I'm not defending anyone here dunstarr, just offering what I know about running pubs to the discussion.

ultimately whoever ran the order through should have had a quick glance at the table to ensure it was free.

Trip advisor and Facebook is your friend..

I really would not be going back. This would be a deal breaker for me.

My mum and I sat at a table in a bar to have a coffee on a rainy day.

The waiter came over and told us those seats were for people having food.

I got ready to apologise and move.

He said no, he would re-arrange the table to make it more suitable for coffee drinkers, then asked if we needed anything else.

That's customer service, not what this bar manager provided.

I'm a publican, and whilst on the face of it the bar manager was extremely rude and unprofessional I'm just going to say though, this is a very busy and stressful time of year and he has been dealing with drunken twats now for a fair few weeks. And not just normal drunken twats, the once a year drinkers are all in at this time who don't know how to behave in a pub, take ages to order a round of drinks while there are loads of other customers waiting to be served, get drunk on 2 drinks and then puke somewhere. I imagine he's just had a hell of day and something tipped him over the edge and he snapped and took it out on you. And while yes he shouldn't have, if that is the case he would probably welcome the opportunity to apologise and explain himself.

Or, if as you say you are regulars and go there often do you normally get on with the staff? In one of my old pubs we had 2 ladies who used to come in for lunch often and they were horrendous, never happy, always found something to complain about, none of the staff liked them, but we were always polite to them; until one day I just had enough, they were complaining about their chips, there was nothing wrong with them but they were complaining, anyway I just told them to leave and never come back. Could that be you, are you a nice, or nightmare customer?

Or of course the guy could just be a complete dick who's in the wrong job.

Don't leave it OP. That's how he continues to be a stroppy git.

Call the landlord or owner and calmly have a chat. Tell him roughly how much you've spent over the last year, your birthday meal etc and how unhappy you are about the service.

No one should speak to a customer in that way.

I think you're making a mistake, OP.

He might be unpleasant to other customers if he's got away with doing it to you.

You might go back and feel nervous and uncomfortable, waiting for trouble.

You'll resent giving them your business.

It doesn't have to be 'confrontation'; you can have a normal-level conversation with the landlord, explain clearly what happened, and let him take it from there.

I'd definitely talk to the landlord.

And if that man was still there, I'd rather drive somewhere else than to give him money.