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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Thrown out of the pub last night. Advice please!

234 replies

Askedtoleave · 16/12/2016 10:09

NC. Last night my friend and I met up for a catch up drink at a local pub I frequent every month or so, sometimes for food, sometimes just for drinks. A lot of tables had reserved signs on for diners as is usual. I found a table without a sign and we sat chatting for an hour over a drink.

Suddenly the bar manager came over and had brought plates of food assuming it was ours. I said, "that's not ours, we're not eating tonight". He said, "well get up then cos this food is for people who have reserved the table." I said that the table didn't have a reserved sign and he said, "get up". I told him that he wasn't even sorry. He was so rude and aggressive.

My friend and I got up and went to the bar. At no point did we refuse to leave the table, swear or raise our voices. He then came over and said he couldn't believe we didn't know the table was reserved. My friend told him we didn't want to have any more discussion, we just wanted to order another drink. He then said that he wouldn't serve us and asked us to leave the pub! We were completely shocked and humiliated. I've found the whole thing really upsetting. Two middle aged women thrown out of a busy pub! Most places would apologise for the misunderstanding and buy us a drink on the house!

AIBU to go to the pub today and speak to the landlord? My friends and family all use this pub and I want to give the pub the chance to redeem themselves. If he sides with the bar manager I wouldn't go there again.

Can anyone please advise what my next steps should be?

OP posts:
wifeyhun · 16/12/2016 12:26

I would go and speak to the landlord, especially if you are regulars. This moody man could lose the business a lot of customers, I would want to know if my staff behaved like that.

dowhatnow · 16/12/2016 12:29

Well email the landlord at the very least. I wouldn't just leave it.

Mouseinahole · 16/12/2016 12:34

I think you need a quiet word with the landlord

itsmine · 16/12/2016 12:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lyricaldancer · 16/12/2016 12:45

Personally, I would complain about the member of staff being rude and asking you to leave, and if this wasn't dealt with satisfactorily I wouldn't return to the place.

zoemaguire · 16/12/2016 12:47

I find it amazing how many people are doubting the OPs version of events. Why is it so hard to believe that some people do just spoil for a fight and can be randomly unreasonable and unpleasant? Have none of you ever watched Ramsey's kitchen nightmares or whatever it's called? Some business owners and managers seem to think they are lords of the manor and can throw out anybody who challenges their holy right to be miserable shits to their customers.

And as for the idea that if you don't meekly accept bad treatment, you are asking to be insulted and thrown out on your ear, I hope that isn't a lesson you are all passing on to your children.

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 16/12/2016 12:47

A work group and i were kicked out of a pub a long, long, long, time ago. Food and drinks abandoned. (Except mine as i eat really fast and refused to leave before i had downed the rest of my half...by god did i drink those dregs quick though)

For no reason at all, the landlady apparently had a drink problem herself

It can happen that people are having a bad day and take it out on you both ways around

Askedtoleave · 16/12/2016 12:49

Aarrggh! Just looked at trip advisor. Someone's put a review on TODAY saying the same thing!!!!! I wish I could post it but don't want to identify the pub!!! Basically all meals are 3 course Xmas dinners and pre booked. Some people sat at an empty table and we're told only prebooked meals allowed. They too questioned lack of reserved sign and asked why they couldn't sit there and be served.

OP posts:
NinjaPosse · 16/12/2016 12:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Askedtoleave · 16/12/2016 12:50

Sorry they posted on 14th. Manager responded yesterday.

OP posts:
QueenMortificado · 16/12/2016 12:52

Ooh juicy, what did the manager say in reply?

DixieWishbone · 16/12/2016 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pigflewpast · 16/12/2016 12:52

If it wasn't your local I'd say leave it. However the landlord presumably knows you and your family, at least by sight as regulars, so I would tell him about it. It doesn't need to be confrontational, it can just be " I was really upset / embarrassed when this happened, it's not the first time he's been rude / unhelpful, we are locals so come back here knowing that you and your other staff are lovely, but really think you need to be aware he's probably losing you customers. " I wouldn't be surprised if there is a list of complaints about the manager and I would be surprised if the landlord was anything but apologetic.

Wotshudwehave4T · 16/12/2016 12:53

OP if you don't want confrontation write to the manager and hand deliver it so you know they they have it or go on tripadvisor too. Doing it off line is likely to hurt the business/embarrass the guy less (although he does deserve to be called on it). Don't feel bad it wasn't your fault and no one can read minds, they need to communicate the rules to their customers- up front so everyone knows what is going on

Wotshudwehave4T · 16/12/2016 12:54

I mean LL it was the manager who banned you

user1471545174 · 16/12/2016 13:04

After Christmas say to the LL - "you know that review on TripAdvisor? Exactly the same thing happened to us on X night. I was so disappointed as I love X pub and DH and family come here all the time! We really want to feel welcome again..."

Ball in LL's court. Don't put anything in writing.

Noodledoodledoo · 16/12/2016 13:04

I wouldn't make a special visit but next time you are in ask if the LL is around and explain what happened on your last visit.

Do it from a 'I'm not annoyed but you might want to improve your service' point of view.

This way the LL gets some feedback about the service you received but it removes the emotion from it.

Askedtoleave · 16/12/2016 13:04

It was all about only being able to serve prebooked tables as they have such high standards and fresh food etc. Looks like they should have a sign saying "bar closed to general public". Even if we'd tried to have food we wouldn't have been able to.

He's obviously been questioned by customers before on this matter.

However, found loads of people slagging him off. He's really nasty and cocky in his replies. Told one woman to only darken his door again if she came with her carer as she obviously needs one!!!!

I'm going to leave it as like a pp said, I'm going to come out of this looking worse.

OP posts:
Askedtoleave · 16/12/2016 13:06

Found his name anyway, and the landlord's name.

OP posts:
diddl · 16/12/2016 13:12

"Told one woman to only darken his door again if she came with her carer as she obviously needs one!!!! "

Does his boss know??

Askedtoleave · 16/12/2016 13:13

I don't know!! A few people have picked up on it in the questions section and said they won't be going there due to his response.

OP posts:
shinynewusername · 16/12/2016 13:14

Well the LL must know but not care so I'd just take my custom elsewhere.

toptoe · 16/12/2016 13:16

Complain.

He was being a nob. There are probably loads of similar bizarre complaints about him. If they don't believe you, they will in a month's time when someone tells them he has done the exact same thing to them.

In the meantime, don't go back in there until he's gone. Or apologised. But doubt he'll be doing that! You have to use your purse power.

hmcAsWas · 16/12/2016 13:16

Oh come on - tell us the name of the pub. It won't be identifying for you because you've changed your username to post this thread....

hmcAsWas · 16/12/2016 13:18

When you say you are going to leave it OP, do you mean that you plan to go back there but not say anything???