AIBU or does a manager leaving a 32 week pregnant woman on her own in London smack of ignorance?!

[melmel89]

So I'm 32 weeks pregnant and had to work an event in London this week-hours of standing and also tracking across London travelling. We went on a meal afterwards and obviously being tired I wanted to go back to the hotel afterwards. My manager got in a taxi and said "you know where you're going then" and shut the door....I nearly burst into tears. Firstly I didn't and secondly why should I be left like that because he wants to go drinking?? Am I being unreasonable?

It sounds to me like OP and manager were standing directly in front of a black cab rank when this conversation took place. In which case I don't think anybody on this earth would assume that an adult couldn't hand themselves into a motor vehicle directly in front of them and get back to the hotel they were already checked into.

If OP cares to come back and clarify that she had to flag down 3 cabs instead of just moving along the line, I will concede that her manager was U. But from her post it frankly sounds like what annoyed her was not that the manager didn't give her the first cab but that he didn't escort her back or remind her of the address. She seems to have just assumed he would handhold her back.

And I'm sorry but that kind of preciousness is U, and it hurts all women in the workplace. Being pregnant doesnt exempt you from hearing that.

Bloody hell crumbs, I'd find that massively awkward and beyond patronising!

Crumbs, I guess no one will be having an extra curricular shag with you in charge

God there are some bitches here.
YANBU OP.
I'm an independent feminist who has travelled the world solo but I felt so vulnerable when I was pregnant. You're coping with hormones, tiredness and natural protective motherly instincts so no wonder you felt upset at how you were left.
I wouldn't have expected him to see you back to the hotel but he was an arse to jump in the first cab and leave you standing there without offering it to you. I'd have been pissed off about that. It's just politeness and being a decent human being.

The whole 'first cab' thing is a bit dead now anyway. Everyone just gets an uber for themselves rather than hailing a black cab.

Arf he didn't pop her into a taxi, he got into a taxi and left her there, which is rude and inconsiderate.

I run a firm of 35 people. There's no way I'd jump in a cab leaving a heavily pregnant colleague on the pavement. As a manager and as a person.

We currently have two pregnant colleagues - we are in the process of making adjustments for them because we are decent people, not because they are delicate flowers.

I've also put a young recruit in a cab with some cash to get home when he was so so drunk he couldn't function. Crumbs is only doing a really good job by the sounds of it. She has to represent the firm apart from anything else.

I've also put a young recruit in a cab with some cash to get home when he was so so drunk he couldn't function.

TBH if she was so drunk she couldn't function she needed to be taken home, not shoved in the back of a cab.

Also, when you're heavily pregnant you feel extra vulnerable. I remember being heavily pregnant, in the city I'd lived in for 2 years, late at night, quite nervous.

No shepherds crook but hopefully smiling. I expect my team to work hard and produce good results but also know to respect and thank them. Far from being patronising, most feedback through 360s and anonymous staff surveys are really positive about having managers who care sufficiently. Sad so many take genuine concern and kindness as a bad thing.
Whilst I am tolerant of mistakes, I would have concerns about inappropriate and unprofessional behaviour so might dampen some overexuberant behaviours - but that is clear in our code of conduct. The people I work with are all professionals so we don't get bawdy, drunken behaviour generally.

Sorry Arf

I'd find that patronising too, crumbs!

When I was pregnant I travelled to Europe, the US and Israel for work, often on my own. I never expected any handholding!

How did you not know the hotel OP? Had you already stayed their the night before or did you have your stuff with you and no one had told you what hotel was booked?

I'm pregnant (and utterly rubbish at it and feel like shit) but there's no way I'd expect to be put in a taxi. I'd probably take the tube back and stop off at a supermarket on the way to buy all the chocolate. Honestly, as a grown adult it wouldn't occur to me to need looking after,

So mustn't do what Crumbs does (which imho is the right thing to do) as it's patronising, but must leave someone else to host our Christmas party in order to sit in the back of a black cab to escort home a young man who has drunk too much (when we paid for the cab and given the cabbie the address).

Can't do right for doing wrong on this thread it seems.

Sorry but I would be quite offended to shepherded home like I needed some kind of 'benevolent saviour', crumbs. You are supposed to be their manager not their mother!

She's not being unreasonable. He was being a knob.

I've worked in London and been on plenty of nights out there. I would have managed if I were 32 weeks but a bit of help wouldn't have gone amiss.

I'd like Crumbs as a boss too

Genuine but tangential question: 'ignorant' to mean 'rude' - is this a regional thing? I've only ever encountered it on mumsnet, I think, but is that because it doesn't come from where I live?

It is your managers responsibility to assess health and safety around your pregnancy. I worked in care when I was pregnant and they left me a client that I could not do because it involved lifting. My arrogant team leader thought she would leave it to me. I flatly refused I'm not causing risk to myself where I have to sue for compensation. I think most managers don't know how to risk assess and put things in place. If I was the OP I would have told them no thank you is the money worth it. Every woman is different some can work right up to the day with no problems where as others get into problems i.e Early labour.

Like PP I would be quite offended by Crumbs - as an adult I am capable of asking for help if needed - as for 'cosseting' pregnant members of staff.... wow! Way to make sure that their colleagues potentially resent them

Margaret it happens in all sectors just because they have the title manager doesn't mean they know how to manage people.

Genuine but tangential question: 'ignorant' to mean 'rude' - is this a regional thing?

It is a recognised meaning, though I have to say it sets my teeth on edge.