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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My mother announced today, that I will be looking for a job once my youngest starts school

136 replies

LardLizard · 14/12/2016 19:34

Well that's news to me

I've never even said one word to them about what my future plans are
Not one word

OP posts:
DixieNormas · 14/12/2016 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissDuke · 14/12/2016 19:50

Of course you cannot TELL her she will provide childcare Confused seriously op, you have issues. Talk to her!

Original poster
LardLizard · 14/12/2016 19:51

The only taking we do is surface talking

Small talk etc

Noting deep nothing serious and I certainly nothing about future plans
Etc

OP posts:
Pluto30 · 14/12/2016 19:51

Her remark wasn't an announcement. It was, as someone else said, a supposition. And one that is valid, IMO.

Trifleorbust · 14/12/2016 19:52

It's weird for people to announce what you will be doing and when, yes, OP.

oldlaundbooth · 14/12/2016 19:52

YANBU op.

TheNaze73 · 14/12/2016 19:53

Are you ok OP? With a post about shopping as a hobby & then this, it doesn't sound like you're thinking straight?
I hope you're ok

CaptainBrickbeard · 14/12/2016 19:53

There are millions of interesting, productive and absorbing ways to fill your time; why would anyone need work to alleviate boredom??? If I could afford to, I'd give up work tomorrow and I would NEVER be bored!

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/12/2016 19:54

You have a difficult and sad relationship with your mum. So YANBU to have issues with that.

What she said wasn't an issue though. Phrased like a conversational question.

Original poster
LardLizard · 14/12/2016 19:55

I can't really explain well, the way she said it, it was the tone and the slightly raised voice and the face

All added up to what seemed to be telling me, what I'll be doing

When she has no idea we will be trying for another baby

OP posts:
cheekyfunkymonkey · 14/12/2016 19:56

What did you say back?

HeyRoly · 14/12/2016 19:56

Ah, you'll be wanting "a little job" won't you Lard?

I'm being sarcastic Grin

And I'm with Captain.

Original poster
LardLizard · 14/12/2016 19:56

Maybe it's normal for daughters to tell there mothers their family planning ideas
But we don't have talks of any depth
So it would seem v v weird to me

OP posts:
Pestilence13610 · 14/12/2016 19:57

Maybe she would like to see you maintain a little bit of independance. Listing shopping as your main hobby is rather sad. She could be concerned that one day you hobby will be listed as an unreasonable behaviour.

Pluto30 · 14/12/2016 19:58

Lots of people manage to work and deal with after and before school runs, sick days etc... But, you know, any reason, right?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 14/12/2016 19:58

Oh ffs, yabu. You also sound like you have major mum issues.

NiceFalafels · 14/12/2016 19:59

Some people on this thread seem to think work is the only interesting activity available.

youarenotkiddingme · 14/12/2016 20:01

What's even weirder than your mum making suggestions about what your plans must be are most of the replies here!

Other threads are full of people pointing out easing children is a ft job and when they are at school a magic fairly doesn't do their washing, the family food shop, housework etc.
And if your DH works long hours I'm assuming you do the lions share of household tasks?

And j say that as a LP who works ft and raises a disabled child - but I have to work!

PlumsGalore · 14/12/2016 20:01

You don't sound close to be honest so I understand why you are annoyed. However for many of us it wouldn't be a statement that we made, DD and I are very close and I a am 100 pc sure she would have mentioned having another baby soon long before I asked when she was going back to work. You sound a bit uptight.

Original poster
LardLizard · 14/12/2016 20:02

I bet if I had some sort of job along dhs lines, she would not approve of that either

Purge way I personal,y see it is, you can't please everyone regarding work n home
Some fucker will want a pop at you whatever you do
So you might as well just do what makes you happy n works for your individual family as they are all soooo different

And as for others I couldn't care less if they work two ft jobs or sah
As everyone I personally know is doing what they think is best for them and their families in their situations

I suppose I'm very much live n let live
So I Find my mother telling me what I'll be doing when we have v different plans a bit rude really

OP posts:
Original poster
LardLizard · 14/12/2016 20:06

Plums I guess you and your dd do have conversations that delve a little deeper and include things like future plans etc

Therefore you you probably know what your dds future plans are
Say for example they were planning another baby

OP posts:
TheGruffaloMother · 14/12/2016 20:07

Just sounds like you don't like your mum tbh. She's asked a perfectly valid question in a tone you didn't like. Probably time to step back and think about whether you'd bristle as much if someone else asked.

Original poster
LardLizard · 14/12/2016 20:07

Monkey, I think I said something like oh will I.......

With a puzzled expression on my face

OP posts:
Original poster
LardLizard · 14/12/2016 20:08

Gruffalo mother, well All my close friends know what are plans are anyway

OP posts:
honeylulu · 14/12/2016 20:08

Yes she is presumptive. My mum is similar grrrr!
I never understand why people assume you'll go back to work when kids start school. Going back when they are at nursery is easy as pie (8-6 sorted, all week days) compared to school with holidays, inset days, before school, after school .... suddenly so complicated!