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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For not being allowed to sign the teacher's card?

265 replies

BigApple11 · 14/12/2016 15:41

I haven't put into my dc's class teachers' Christmas collection, for a few reasons.
Namely they ( the class reps) want £5 per teacher. That's £15 for my DS and £10 for my DD.
I also have an older child.
Christmas costs us a fortune.
The teachers are paid by my taxes.
Yes they do a brilliant job.
I bake them cakes throughout the year.
I help in class every week.
AIBU to think I should be allowed to sign the bloody card even though I haven't put into the collection???
The class rep pisses me off but that's besides the point. I think

OP posts:
HaveNoSocks · 14/12/2016 17:14

Although now I rethink it I'm a bit torn, I wouldn't expect to sign the card if I hadn't contributed but there shouldn't have been a set contribution amount (either compulsory or pressure applied). It should be fine to give 50p and sign the card if that's what you're happy contributing. I'm sure the teacher appreciates the thought and isn't going to be looking at who contributed and who didn't.

WyfOfBathe · 14/12/2016 17:18

READ THE FUCKING THREAD.
I did read the fucking thread, thanks. But it's not like "I pay your taxes" is an unusual line when it comes to talking to/about people working in the public sector, so my comment was aimed at people in general rather than just the OP.

Also, I do think that "think before you speak" applies, rather than "I'll say what I want and then when people get annoyed I'll pretend I didn't mean it."

IsItMeOr · 14/12/2016 17:22

OP, we have always done that everybody signs the card regardless, and those who want to donate to a gift donate whatever they think.

Personally I think it is nice for the teachers to have a card signed by the whole class, and who really cares how much any one family contributed to the gifts?

Aeroflotgirl · 14/12/2016 17:26

It is a lot of money. But saying that, If I have not contributed, I would not expect to sign the card. Do your own card and little present instead, that's what I do.

pepperpot99 · 14/12/2016 17:26

Do you get child benefit OP? my taxes pay for that Hmm

If you don't put in, you don't get to sign the card, end of.

Floey · 14/12/2016 17:27

Sorry, YABU. If you sign it implies you paid and you say you won't. Live with it

FunkinEll · 14/12/2016 17:30

I agree. It's £5 per class in my Dc's school and it's from all of the kids regardless of who contributed, it's a class gift. We get the teachers vouchers usually.

TheFear · 14/12/2016 17:32

In my opinion, if you don't donate then you don't sign the card that goes with the gift.
Send your own card.
Plenty of people in my children's school choose not to contribute to the (less expensive) collection and they make their own arrangements, they would certainly not expect to sign the card that goes with the gift generated from a collection that they have not contributed to.

Oblomov16 · 14/12/2016 17:33

YABVU
If you want to do nothing, no problem.
If you want to do your own card or/and present,great.
If someone volunteers to do a group collection, then if you want to be part of that, fine. But you can't sign the card, if you haven't contributed. Hmm

BarbarianMum · 14/12/2016 17:34

Don't pay, don't sign. There's no reason you can't send your own card in though.

Original poster
BigApple11 · 14/12/2016 17:39

I AM GOING TO SEND MY OWN CARDS FFS

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 14/12/2016 17:41

I think it's a terrible practice. Class reps seem to be puffed up full of nonsense and self-importance. OP actually spends time helping out in class... that is meaningful. Lots of pressurised contribution and a 'you can't sign it' is why this should be outlawed and it's about time it was.

OP, do your own thing if you want to, don't cave into this ridiculous pressure to brown-nose.

mumtomaxwell · 14/12/2016 17:41

I never contribute to these things, I just do my own. As a PP has said teachers aren't often allowed to accept gifts of that sizez In my school we aren't allowed to accept gifts that are worth more than £25. But as secondary teachers we very rarely get gifts!

Waltermittythesequel · 14/12/2016 17:42

But why did you think you had the right to sign that one, when it was to accompany the present that other people are paying for?

topcat2014 · 14/12/2016 18:26

Who makes themselves 'class rep' - is that another word for queen bee?
Do we get to vote? Why am I thinking of Hyacinth bucket.

Not aware of them existing in my DD's friendly small primary. I assumed these were a private school only horror, but judging from this thread perhaps not.

Just get your child to sign a card on their own.

I have always hated anything forced and communal, from class detentions back in the day to teamwork in offices - just another way of people trying to assert superiority.

booklooker · 14/12/2016 18:52

I take back the taxes comment. I don't actually earn enough to pay tax right now.

I hooted at laughter at this reply. So teachers are actually paying for you?

(And as a pp stated, very few of us individuals actually put in more than we receive from the economy)

Catlady1976 · 14/12/2016 18:55

I would imagine your taxes won't cover you dcs education and all the other services you use.
Plus I would say the card is only for those contributing to the collection. So Yabu. Just do your own card.

FrostyLeaves · 14/12/2016 18:56

Just send a card.

SheldonCRules · 14/12/2016 18:56

Poor class rep, getting the blame for something that's actually very reasonable. If you don't buy the gift you don't get to be named as giver, it's very simple. How very dare they try and do something nice and convenient as a group not to mention some poor teacher not ending up with a million mugs or chocolates.

As for queen bee name calling, it's all rather childish. The class rep will be doing nothing different than the OP who also helps at school. Some do it for their own gain, some to stay close to their children and others truly don't care which class or job they do as they just want to help.

FrostyLeaves · 14/12/2016 18:57

Saw your updates!
Good choice! ... backs away bashfully..

TinselTwins · 14/12/2016 19:00

Why on earth would you expect to sign the card that accompanies a gift if you're not involved in the gift!

God no wonder nobody wants to organise anything these days!

Doowappydoo · 14/12/2016 19:08

Before I start OP I know you're sending your own cardSmile but I've just done the class collection and had this dilemma. We do a suggested amount of £5 which is then split between job share teachers and the TA. It worked out about £30 in JL vouchers each.

It's the first time I've done it and I offered this time because I always find it a bit of a god send when someone else does it. I wasn't sure whether to put the names of those who contributed or from the whole class . After canvassing opinion I just put the names of those who had contributed. Some people like to buy their own thing and some people don't want to do it full stop.

Definitely not trying to assert superiority brown nose and it's certainly not forcedHmm it was quite a bit of a hassle actually - I only did it because I felt it was my turn

DailyFail1 · 14/12/2016 19:10

Rubbish. You don't contribute you don't get to sign. Get your feathers unruffled and get the teachers a card from just you and your kids.

Hoviscats · 14/12/2016 19:11

To those PP who think class reps are queen bee types I can only assume you have no idea what they are. I am a class rep for the pta and have the totally thankless task of trying to get volunteers for events etc. as well as volunteering myself for every event and helping to do all organisation, despite having a job, new baby and a husband working bloody long hours.

Last year I said I would do the collections and it was a nightmare. I did not specify an amount and was totally happy to make it from the whole class irrespective of how much anyone put in. After several reminders and only 10 contributors out of 25 I said if we didn't get a greater uptake then I would make it only from those who had contributed. I would add that everyone pretty much had said they thought the collection was a good idea Hmm

This year I refused to organise it and said I would contribute or was happy to do my own thing if no one wanted to do it. Needless to says the person that did volunteer has had the same issue....

I suppose what I am trying to say is that everyone is probably being a bit unreasonable but believe me organising these things is no bloody fun. If you disagree with the amount requested etc then you should say so, or even better offer to organise it yourself next year!! Grin

Spottytop1 · 14/12/2016 19:16

Never heard of collections for teachers and I've worked in schools for over 15 years.... not something I'd want to participate in either as a contributor or receiver tbh!

Having said that I'm glad you have decided to get your own card as if you don't contribute you cannot expect to participate.

Teachers also pay taxes so with your logic they pay their own wages and also pay any benefits you get...

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