Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For not being allowed to sign the teacher's card?

265 replies

BigApple11 · 14/12/2016 15:41

I haven't put into my dc's class teachers' Christmas collection, for a few reasons.
Namely they ( the class reps) want £5 per teacher. That's £15 for my DS and £10 for my DD.
I also have an older child.
Christmas costs us a fortune.
The teachers are paid by my taxes.
Yes they do a brilliant job.
I bake them cakes throughout the year.
I help in class every week.
AIBU to think I should be allowed to sign the bloody card even though I haven't put into the collection???
The class rep pisses me off but that's besides the point. I think

OP posts:
ShelaghTurner · 15/12/2016 18:39

There's absolutely no set amount. The email I sent out clearly stated any donation was welcome or none at all, it really didn't matter. I did hand out three sticky labels to each child which they return in a little envelope (with a donation if they want) and I've stuck all the labels in the cards. If people want to do their own thing, fine. If people want to do nothing, fine. But the card is from the children not the parents.

To answer a couple of other questions, yes, I guess we are in a naice area.

And I don't know what would happen if everyone refused to be a class rep. It's the school's culture so we just do it. Maybe they'd survive, maybe there'd be anarchy. Who knows! Xmas Grin

Interestingly I have learnt that when I've donated in the past, not knowing what a decent donation was, I gave loads more than other people do so that's saved me a few quid next year! Xmas Wink

reluctantlondoner · 15/12/2016 18:40

YABU. This sort of situation often crops up at my work, e.g. Retirement cards, leaving gifts. I think it's cheeky to sign the card and not contribute to the accompanying collection, but people still brazenly do it! If you're not putting in (entirely your decision, but personally I don't feel that £5 per teacher is outrageous!) then you don't sign and you send your own card if you want to.

pollymere · 15/12/2016 18:52

Whilst I appreciate class collections rather than 30 mugs/chocs/wine etc. It should be a voluntary amount so you contribute what you would have spent anyway or even less. £60 (£2 per child) buys a £50 gift card and some chocs. Anything more is crazy. Half that for the TA makes a £3 contribution in total per child which is plenty.

yellowpostitnote · 15/12/2016 18:54

I'm in shock!

I've taught for 15 years and I've never heard of a class rep or collection!

It seems to me the op's dilemma is a result of this ludicrous idea.

I've rarely had a gift at xmas from children - stunned to get a tiny rose today. And one card. Granted I teach SEN so fewer children but even in mainstream I just got some cards! But a collection at xmas!

I know that our head would stop such a thing at school; if parents had money to spend like that I'd strongly suggest they spent it at on raffles within school or a donation. She would not want parents with less money to feel stuck in such a situation.

The best gift I had today was the delight a child had in making their own wooden creation in woodwork. Boaky I know but that's why I teach.

some teachers don't know they're born

lisiloo02 · 15/12/2016 18:56

I actually find it helpful to add to a collection - much less stress and usually works out cheaper.

CaraAspen · 15/12/2016 19:14

Secondary teachers don't usually get gifts. If a kid says, "Thanks, Miss." or words to that effect, that means much more as does a card with a thank you written within.

BlueSuffragette · 15/12/2016 19:27

As a teacher I always prefer cards genuinely made by the children in my class. They are much more personal. The class rep is petty. Most gifts of chocolates etc tend to get shared out with all other members of staff. The teacher will think no less of your children if your name is not on the official card. Some parents seem to think gifts compensate for their poor parenting, they don't.

yellowpostitnote · 15/12/2016 19:38

I could possibly understand a collection in July at the end of the school year but definitely not at xmas!

heateallthebuns · 15/12/2016 19:51

So some people volunteer to help raise money for the school via the pta / class rep / Facebook / twitter or whatever system a particular school has. Then they get slagged off for donating their time and effort as lording it over people and being cliquey! And the parents who never help out with anything get the benefit of the fundraising for their children!!! Charming!!!!

glowfrog · 15/12/2016 19:52

Yes, the tax comment is ridiculous. You do realise that for the money they get from your taxes, they are giving your a service, which is the education of your THREE children. If there were no teachers, we would all be screwed.

They are doing you a favour, not the other way around.

Sparklyglitter · 15/12/2016 20:30

No I'm sorry, but absolutely no way you should sign the card that will represent who has donated to the gift! Fair enough you don't wish to contribute that's absolutely fine, but buy or make your own card or suggest that the pupils have their own card for the teachers not relating to the gift.
Even if the class rep is a cow I still don't see that it's reasonable to sign a card that suggests you've bought the gift! When my son was in nursery some woman asked me to sign the card which was for those who had clubbed in for the gift, everyone was offered the opportunity to join in and there was no minimum, I said no.

grannytomine · 15/12/2016 20:53

Sparklyglitter, I think it depends why you are sending the gift. If you want to make the teacher feel appreciated then have a collection and get the KIDS to sign the card, all the kids. I think it is quite creepy for adults to be getting in this much of a state about who signs a card.

Sparklyglitter · 15/12/2016 21:06

What I meant was I got all the children to sign a card when I was class rep last year, this was inclusive to every child and was a thank-you and good bye to the teacher. I then organised a collection for those that wanted to and a card for those parents and children to sign who had actually contributed - it's not reasonable to sign a card, which gives the appearance that you have contributed.
If it's that creepy why are you joining in??......

JackLottiesMum · 15/12/2016 21:24

I'm sorry I understand that you feel you have contributed to the school, but the present is not about that. It is only fair the people who put in for the present sign the card. Although our class reps ask for a donation to the present rather than I prescribed amount. Some parents give a pound - others £10. Only the class reps know who has given what and it doesn't make any difference to anyone. If people are unhappy with the system then they can choose to either do their own thing, or not do anything at all.

grannytomine · 15/12/2016 21:41

Sparklyglitter, I am joining in because I think it is good for people to see something from another point of view and it is the parents who think it is so important that only the people who contribute sign the card who are being a bit creepy.

So you had two cards and one stated that it was people who had signed the card who had bought the present. How tacky.

UnderbeneathsiesTheMistletoe · 15/12/2016 21:43

We are asked to pay 15£ per head, twice a year and we pay the school fees too, which goes to all the salaries, so it comes out at 900£ extra per teacher, per class, per year on top of their salaries paid exclusively by fees
I'm sure the teachers don't declare it as a benefit in kind for their tax as it's paid as vouchers.

Some teachers also get gifts of Chanel perfume and jo malone candles etc etc as when we go to pick up after the end of term shows, the teachers' hauls are all laid out there, displayed for all to see. Nice work if you can get it.

When I was class rep I signed everyone's name, as I knew while there are those who are loaded, have three skiing trips a year, can gift all kinds of luxe, blah blah; there are some parents really struggling.

JerryFerry · 15/12/2016 21:43

How ridiculous. Why do teachers have to get all these presents anyway? What a load of utter bollocks. So many stupid, petty and greedy folk populating the planet

38cody · 15/12/2016 21:47

Well there would be very few 'really struggling' if they can pay school fees! Other than a bursary parent of two they are hardly 'struggling' - calling real world...

JustSpeakSense · 15/12/2016 21:53

You are not obliged to contribute. But you can't expect to sign the card attached to the gift that others paid for.

You need to buy or make your own card.

38cody · 15/12/2016 21:55

Jerry Ferry
If you bought a gift for a child at a party and another parent 'popped their name on the gift tag' implying that they contributed to the gift would that not bother you?
It's not a matter of being greedy - her entitled behaviour is just plain rude.

Why do teachers get gifts?
When they are small and early to bed, children spend more time with your children than you do - if they've done a good job it's nice to buy a thank you gift.
I also buy a gift for cleaner and hairdresser as I appreciate them, it's always optional but you do not hijack another's gift - it's just bad form.

grannytomine · 15/12/2016 22:03

UnderbeneathsiesTheMistletoe, much nicer to include everyone. Bit of Christmas spirit doesn't hurt anyone.

Sparklyglitter · 15/12/2016 23:24

Meow! Grannytomine sharing views or attempting to have a cat fight! Not getting drawn into that I'm afraid. Feel happy that I can be the bigger person here! Happy Christmas!

erchissick · 15/12/2016 23:40

Do people not understand that gifts over a certain amount (£5 per child works out an average of £150.00 present per teacher based on a class of 30 kids) have to be declared to the taxman, by the teacher as extra income, and is thereby taxable???

Some councils even force teachers to declare/register gifts worth £10 or more.

If I were you, I would be more than happy to NOT sign the damn card and therefore not be a part of making a teacher's life that bit harder.

messystressy · 15/12/2016 23:55

I am a class rep. We accept donations of any size (or not at all) and every child is welcome to sign the card, then we buy gift vouchers for the teachers. I think people do get petty and carried away sometimes...

yellowpostitnote · 16/12/2016 08:18

Is this class rep thing in private schools? Or state schools?