To wonder why hardly anyone keeps the gender of their baby a surprise until the birth anymore?

[Kel1234]

First of all let me say that this is not a judgemental post at all. I know that it's a personal choice, and everyone has the right to decide if they would like to find out the sex or not.
However I truly do not understand why so many people actually want to know. People asking others to guess what they are having from the scan pictures, and people even calling the 20 week scan 'a gender scan' as though the main reason for it is finding out the sex, even though it's not. Then there is the lengths people will go to reveal it as well - these 'gender reveal parties'.
I know some of the reasons are: people don't want to wait 9 months when they don't have to, they want to decorate the nursery (my lo doesn't have a nursery because we don't want him in his own room yet), they want to know if things they have from previous children can be used for the new baby. Also because they want to get everything ready, and want to buy gender specific things before the birth.
I think it's just as easy to get neutral things before the birth, and then simply keep the money aside and then get everything else after the baby is born. (Obviously I know that not everyone will be able to do that though). But that's what I did, got neutral clothes and crib bedding, and the pram and car seat were neutral (I preferred that), then I kept the money separate and went and got the rest of the stuff afterwards.
If you want a gender specific nursery it may be more difficult to wait though.
Having a preference for a specific sex could be another reason, but even so what can you do about it? I had a very strong preference for a girl, but had a boy.
I know another reason is baby showers (personally i hate them, I never had one and would never dream of having one), but for those who do want one you can have neutral ones.
As I said I'm not one to judge anyone, but I am genuinely wondering why people are so keen to find out before instead of waiting until the birth. Surely it's much more special to be told "it's a girl/ boy" at the birth and then have your baby placed in your arms or on your chest. Rather than be told "it's a girl/ boy" during the scan and then be given a picture to go home with.
I simply couldn't imagine not waiting. I had no desire to know at all, I never considered it, even for a split second. And I was so glad I waited. Why do so many people spoil one of life's greatest surprises?

Well finding out at 16 weeks or 40 weeks, changes absolutely nothing.

And to be perfectly honest nobody but the parents actually care what sex the baby is.

I must admit I snort in my mind a bit when pregnant couples say 'we know what it is but are keeping it a surprise'. A surprise for who I want to ask? The millions of people who don't give a single shit whether you have a boy or a girl? (Delighted and all as we are that you are having a baby and are excited of course).

Why did I find out? Because people think there are two times at which you can find out your baby's sex - either at a scan, or at birth, right?

Wrong. There are more ways than that.

I once found out my baby's sex with the post mortem results, three months after 'birth'.

So, I prefer to find out at a scan. In case it's the only chance I get to do it.

I didn't tell anyone when I knew the sex the baby I was pregnant with because I didn't want. I wasn't deliberating holding back to give them a surprise.

Why do people assume gender neutral clothing has to be yellow, white or beige. There is a huge variety of colours out there that can be worn by both boys and girls.

I didn't feel that when my daughter was handed to me that it was any less special having known she was a DD from 17 weeks. The special part for me was seeing what she looked like and watching her little personality develop, I wanted to know because I wanted to know, that's it.

donna to be fair most shops only stock the white, yellow and beige in store for unisex bits! Most of my daughters clothes are from the "boy" sections of shops, lots of dinosaurs, jungle animals and other cute critters in nice bright colours that apparently aren't suitable for both sexes

Sorry purple

I couldn't disagree more that gender neutral clothes are boring, I adore a snuggle little baby in a plain white sleepsuit, it's all DD wore for weeks (until the white faded like crazy!)

I didn't want to find out because I wanted to experience the feeling of labour and then the best surprise of my life.

That was my personal choice though.

If/when I have baby no 2 I won't find out again. Buy a few White babygros like I did the last time and take it from there when the baby arrive.

If people want to find out at the scan then that's their decision. Each to their own

OP, whether intentional or not, you do come across very judgemental. I am currently 18 weeks pregnant with my second child and because of people like you voicing this opinion in such a judgemental way, I almost feel guilty for wanting to know.. like I'm in the wrong and will be looked down on for this decision and therefore hate being asked "oh so are you finding out the sex?".

Each to their own. What was right for you may not suit someone else and, you're right, there are many reasons for wanting to know the sex.

My first Child was planned however I unexpectedly suffered with antenatal depression and struggled immensely to bond with the little one growing inside me (which made me feel shitter as she was planned and I was "supposed" to "want" her). Finding out the sex helped me with this.. and so did the private scan I paid for at 30 weeks too. (Shoot me.)

I do agree with you on one point and that's people calling the 20 week anomaly scan a gender scan (or a sexing scan as my irritating sister in law insists of calling it )
However this could just be because I work on a large neonatal unit and care for the some of the sickest babies every day so I'm constantly aware of the problems that can be detected and, as I still have 2 weeks to wait until my 20 week scan, am still of course worrying every day about it.

But I WILL hopefully find out the sex. And it will be a surprise. And seeing mine and my husbands new baby will still be the one of the biggest surprises for us.

So, OP. Yes, You are being unreasonable!

I think people sometimes know but not tell so they have something of interest to tell people when it's born. when so many people have elective sections there is much less to tell.