To think it's ok for a newborn to cry?

[Refluxsux]

Baby is 7 weeks old and has silent reflux treated with Ranitidine. Late afternoon/early evening are his worst times which happen to coincide with the only time I get to be with my older son after school. I've been letting the older child watch wayyyy too much tv to get us through while I endlessly feed/jiggle/do squats/use white noise etc to try and settle the baby. If I persist with going up and down the stairs for about 20 minutes I can usually get him to nod off but it's killing my knees. So tonight I could tell he just needed to sleep so I popped him in the bouncy chair put the white noise on and let him scream for five minutes. I stayed with him and stroked his face (not that he noticed!) but I didn't pick him up. After five awful minutes I picked him up and gave him a cuddle and he fell asleep almost immediately and I could put him back in the bouncy chair. Am I being awful to him? I'm just so tired and my older child is so fed up. He almost seemed to need to scream for a few minutes before he could calm down or am I being dilusional?

Hiya OP, you are doing a grand job, in fact you are amazing as I would have struggled to stroke LO's face whilst they were crying.

My little DD2 has been of the pick up stop crying type, which has been marvellous, as DD1 was more like your one! She used to cry for a few hours every afternoon. She would never take a dummy, liked to be held upright and couldn't stand being held close and cuddled. I used to find that the noise was more bearable outdoors and go for walks with the pram. I used to find that she would get worse sometimes if I held her as she just wanted to go to sleep and didn't want stimulation. She improved amazingly once she started eating food and is super cuddly and affectionate now, as well as being a kind big sister.

The Psychology Today article linked upthread is rank pseudoscience.

Not rtft but I had a baby with silent reflux, comic, cmpa and soy allergies, oh and 75% tongue tie!!! She screamed a lot.

My advice:

Ranitidine did bugger all. She needed 20mg Omeprazole to achieve symptom control. Go back to your GP and demand some Omeprazole.

Are you breast or formula feeding??

If breast then try excluding dairy and soy from your diet to see if that helps.

If formula you could try getting some gaviscon to add to the formula milk (it's too hard to get a breastfed baby to take it!) but you just add it to the formula so it's easier.

If you suspect cows milk allergy you will need a highly hydrogilised (sp?!) formula where the milk protein is highly broken down... Available on prescription and I think called neocate?? (I'm not sure I breastfed my DD).

Use a sling even if baby screams as they will be comforted by your presence. I agree with those who say leaving a newborn who is in pain to scream without physical comfort will stress them out more.

Buy the book 'colic solved' (all about reflux) from Amazon it will help you.

Good luck

Just saw your last post OP about concerns about PPIs. Obviously no medication is risk free... The risks of under treating reflux though can also include oesophageal scarring, ulcers, infection, failure to thrive etc... I think it's worth remembering that sometimes you're stuck between a rock and a hard place and you can only make a 'risk assessment' and take the Drs advice. We saw a Paediatrician not a GP who prescribed the omeprazole and it worked really quickly. I have no regrets, my DD was in so much pain without it

Ok now I've rtft I apologize for repeating the same suggestions as everyone else and also see that you've tried dairy and soy free....

I would honestly get a trial of omeprazole. The Paediatrician started DD on 4mg once a day at 8 weeks old and this rapidly increased to 10mg then to 20mg once a day until she was 18 months old.

It worked very quickly though, the Dr said we would see an improvement within days (we did) but that it takes about 5 weeks to reach full effectiveness.

I found that ranitidine made DDs reflux worse?!

The constant feeding could be a combination of comfort sucking (the trickle of milk helps to soothe the burnin feeling, and being comforted by being close to you.... But at 7 weeks it could also be mixed with U still establishing milk supply and growth spurts.

I know it was for me to say but if you want to breastfeed hang on in there for a few more weeks and I'm sure things will start to improve. Colic peaks at 8 weeks so it should start to ease off soon anyway. We found that by 5 months things got sooooo much better and when she could sit upright things improved even more.

Have you googled Dr Sears high needs baby? My DD has 12/12 of the traits so looking back I can see that some of her high needs were actually just her personality as well as the reflux. Some babies just need you more.

In response to the whole CIO thing, comforting a baby verbally and stroking their face is NOT the same as CIO where you regularly leave them on their own in a room and shut to door and leave them to scream themselves to sleep. That might lead to an attachment disorder and the effects of stress on the infants brain are unlikely to be good for them. BUT that is not what you did so ignore the scaremongers (and I say this as someone who has a degree and MSc in Psychology and studied attachment theory in detail, and used to work in HV - so saw children with genuine attachment disorders. They are not caused by putting a baby down for 5 minutes in an otherwise loving and emotionally responsive household.). It may cause the baby to be temporarily stressed out more - but that is not an attachment disorder and like others have said you also have to consider your own and other children's needs.

I also speak as someone who has been where you are (but without an older child - so hats off to you!!!). It WILL get better even if it doesn't feel like it right now. I promise.

Have a look at that book (Colic solved) and get some omeprazole for your baby.

I also second others who say that different babies need different things. Some babies genuinely need space to sleep. Some babies need to be held. Some need to have a good cry. You are still getting to know your baby - you will figure out what they need over time, although this also changes too, sometimes on a daily basis! Sometimes my DD needed to comfort feed to sleep, sometimes she needed to be held and let to cry in my arms in a blacked out room because she was over stimulated (she cried harder if I put her down). Things that worked one day might not work the next, often there is no pattern with reflux because it fluctuates so much so it's worth trying new things and it sounds like it actually worked because they got some sleep! I always considered each hard won nap a great success!!

You will get through this