to dread opening a present from DH?

[olddogsnewtricks]

For various reasons I usually only get one present at Christmas - small family, friends don't do presents, my parents normally get us a joint present, something practical. DH always gets me a present and it is usually something really bad - not bad in itself, but something that I have either said I don't want or nothing personal. (One year he got the same bottle of perfume for his aunt, me and a colleague). Basically his presents make me feel unloved and I have said I would rather not get anything than go through the embarassment of trying to pretend I like it - last year I felt completely humiliated as I burst into tears. I know this is a first world problem - and if it was anyone else I would just suck it up but I find it so upsetting that the person who I feel should know me (if not best than at least a bit) gets things so wrong.

Not necessarily. There are plenty of shitty partners out there who think that spending a lot on birthday/Christmas/Valentines/Mothers Day presents somehow makes up for whatever other shortcomings they have whether it is being abusive, not doing a fair share of domestic work or having affairs.

That's very true as well - my dad was quite violent and abusive when I was a teenager but always spent a lot on gifts - either at Xmas or the day after he hit me if get an iPod for instance.

But DP chooses thoughtful and clever surprise presents and isn't abusive, which is the ideal really.

I don't think you can blame anyone for not having the energy to wade through it all to guess what their partner would like

But a loving caring supportive partner would know what their OH's like (in general at least, if not specifically) because part of being loving and caring and supportive is listening to your partner.

H knows I am a huge fan of Terry Pratchett, I have never outright told him this but our bookshelves expanding with each new book published over the years was a fairly major clue. I know he love Star Wars, again this has never been discussed but because I dont go round with my eyes closed, I worked it out. I know what aftershave he prefers, the type of clothes he likes to wear, how he likes to spend his time, and he knows the same of me.

So anyone who says "But I dont know what you like!!!" actually means "I dont care what you like"