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Original poster

I don't want to lie to my kid about Santa

497 replies

timeforachangeofname · 12/12/2016 06:50

I don't feel comfortable lying to my future kids about Santa, but I don't want them to ruin it for everyone else either. Has anyone managed to bring their child up not believing in Santa, without them ruining it for believers, or am I going to have to lie to them for the sake of others?

OP posts:
Suppermummy02 · 12/12/2016 23:17

tbh, I never brought St Nick into it much, stockings was just another family tradition everyone did. Whether your toys were under a tree or in a sock, was never a big deal. To this day I still dont get it? A toy is a toy?

TheFairyCaravan · 12/12/2016 23:39

God this thread is depressing. I'm so glad I had my children before everything became so literal and bland and boring.

I really miss our children getting excited over Father Christmas coming, about their anticipation and shouts and squeals of "he's been, he's been!" O can still remember the same excitement from when I was little too.

All parents do lie to their children about something, at sometime in their lives, and if you can't admit that you're lying to yourself.

MercedesD · 12/12/2016 23:40

Santa clause is st Nikolas... santa-saint Claus-Nikolas... Father Christmas is santa and therefor saint nikolas... just different names and different traditions...

littlefirtree · 12/12/2016 23:47

It's not depressing. Every Christmas has been lovely in our house Fairy! Confused

Suppermummy02 · 12/12/2016 23:47

Why cant children get excited about Christmas just because they dont believe FC is a literally real person?

My DC were just as excited, if not more, on Christmas eve, despite not thinking a fat man had squeezed down their non existent chimney.

What are these lies that you have to tell to your children that everyone has to tell their children?

Oliversmumsarmy · 12/12/2016 23:51

Just caught up with this thread.

Just seen

Also to the people going on about how I've not conceived yet - I'm a born researcher

I don't know what others think but from my experience you can research and research and do all the homework you like and nothing goes to plan.

BigGrannyPants · 12/12/2016 23:55

My oldest believes in Santa, my two youngest are too young. I think there are degrees of lies. 'Look at this picture I drew for you mummy, well honey that just looks rubbish, you need to practise more' who would ever say that to their child, not many I guess. There are many things like that, which parents are not fully honest about, and in the main that is to make their children happy. Calling the Santa story nauseating is just nonsense. There are many stories that are magical. I believed in Santa when I was little and it did no harm to me when I found out he wasn't real, nor did it do any harm to my sister or any other people I know. Calling it a lie, is blowing out of proportion.

D0ggyBurns · 12/12/2016 23:56

What the actual F? Don't be rotten killjoys. Where's your sense of fun? Did you believe in Santa when you were little? Did it ruin you? I can't imagine growing up and not ever having believed in santa. It was amazing! I remember the mince pies were half eaten and the carrots nibbled and I honestly believed santa had been. It was magical. It's a memory I never want to forget. I think how my parents must have been so excited to see our faces. I'm now doing that for our little boy and it's wonderful. He is so excited. Why would anybody ever deny that of a child? Lighten up people and have a little fun, jeez.

Middleoftheroad · 12/12/2016 23:57

Hmmm so potentially screwed up kids because Mommy and Daddy lied about Santa?
What a load of Baubels!

alltheothernamesareinuse · 13/12/2016 00:09

Haven't read the thread through bit just wanted to say that my parents didn't believe in lying about Santa, or enjoying christmas. I really really missed out. It was so up tight and serious. I had no magic in my childhood, no mystery. As soon as I could I brought Santa into our lives for my younger siblings.
It is not lying. It's participating in making childhood exciting and magical. Pretty sure that DD has worked it out but she wants to keep the magic going and good for her. I'll be right there to help for as long as she wants it.

alltheothernamesareinuse · 13/12/2016 00:10

Give your children the childhood they deserve

Suppermummy02 · 13/12/2016 00:11

D0ggyBurns Why is it more fun to believe in an actual FC rather than a mythical FC? I actually think DC had more fun with a mythical FC than the kids restricted to a physical FC.

I did the whole half eaten mince pies and nibbled carrots, we just never pretended it was literally true, we used our imagination and it was more magical as a result. Can your DC not use their imagination?

littlefirtree · 13/12/2016 00:14

We did exactly the same Suppermummy.

albertcampionscat · 13/12/2016 00:23

I'm uncomfortable with outright lying about it too. Am going for 'Christmas is a very special time and there are lots of stories people tell about. One of the stories is Santa, another is that Baby Jesus brings presents, another is the Befana...'

MaQueen · 13/12/2016 00:32

Agree with Fairy it's all so dour and earnest, and frankly 'I'm a leetle bit more morally evolved than yooouwww'.

Ick.

It's akin to those worthy parents who insist on their child only having bleddy gender neutral toys...or rabidly policing what their child eats at a birthday parties 'Step away from the cupcakes Joleyn, and have some of this yummy steamed kale instead.'

Oh please do, do feck off...

Suppermummy02 · 13/12/2016 00:43

MaQueen Honestly dont have a clue what your post meant. All thought I did get the impression your were trying to offend someone. Who?

beckybird1974 · 13/12/2016 00:47

I've joined the party a bit late on this one but just to add my opinion. We don't do Santa but we know that many others do. I would never say they are wrong and we're right. Families celebrate Christmas in many different ways and have different traditions; we should respect that.

Idiotxit · 13/12/2016 00:56

I'm so glad my parents let me believe in Santa. It was pure magic, and I loved believing. Even as I started doubting 'Santa', I understood why a sense of magic and imagination is important.

Neither me nor my siblings have felt the need to castigate my parents for 'lying' to us.

DixieNormas · 13/12/2016 01:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wifflewaffles · 13/12/2016 02:31

I always just say that it's a nice story for children. Ds1 chose to believe for a whole, but we didn't make a big deal out of it and say that it was literally real. Ds1 is now 8, and no longer believes, but we tell him that it's still a nice story for little children. Ds2 is now 5, and believes. This has not come from us, but I think from school. I just tell him the same, that it's a nice story for children, but I never say that it's literally real. Then it's up to them if they want to believe or not, and I've never deceived them, or said anything other than what it is. A nice story for children.

6o6o842 · 13/12/2016 03:57

You're over thinking it. I have never once met someone who had a negative outcome from being brought up to believe in a jolly man in a red coat with a white beard, and then find out that there is no one physical entity that is Santa (because arguably Santa is the spirit of Christmas and all that goes with it so we are all Santa). This 'you're all lying to your children' bandwagon is just another thing for sanctiparents to perseverate on.

Wifflewaffles · 13/12/2016 06:38

I just saw the interview with the Santa impersonator in America, who got a call to visit a terminally ill 5 year old boy, who was not expected to live to see Christmas. He comforted the little boy, and told him that he was his number 1 elf as the boy passed away in his arms. I am crying at that interview and story now. Santa is real, in that little boy's eyes. That beautiful, kind, selfless man comforted him and brought him joy in his final moments. He's the real Santa.

SoupDragon · 13/12/2016 07:01

I actually think DC had more fun with a mythical FC than the kids restricted to a physical FC.

That is ridiculous.

we used our imagination and it was more magical as a result. Can your DC not use their imagination?

Yeah,because believing in an actual Santa involves no imagination at all. Its utterly hilarious that you could possibly believe this is true!

aquabluepool · 13/12/2016 07:05

I think a lot of keen Santa posters have done so out of memories of their own Christmases being really exciting and "magical".

I'm not sure where my reticence over Santa comes from as I feel my parents were appropriate with it. They told me he existed but didn't make a huge thing out of it and I gradually twigged and it wasn't a big deal.

But for a long time I was completely alone at Christmas and the disconnect between being ten/eleven and twelve/thirteen is huge. One minute you're a poor little child deserving of presents from Santa, the next, you're - not. I think that's why some of these posts can be a bit nauseating and twee. Christmas should be special for all children. Not just those young enough to manipulate into believing in "magic."

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 13/12/2016 07:11

It's easy to think and research what you'll do with children before you have them. When they come you'll realise that came down to the luxury of time and boredom and the child has needs too. They won't always fit in with yours

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