To wonder what you do if you're a SAHM

[aquabluepool]

I just find the days so, so long. And lonely. DH often doesn't get back till 7 o clock.

Yes there's baby groups but not that many. Two a week. And I don't really like them but I will go.

I'm back at work now but last mat leave was long. I used to take my time in the mornings, drink coffee, feed kids, make butties then get them to the park for a good old run around (even if it was pissing down, although soft play if it was really bad) then they'd have a sleep in the afternoon so I'd tidy up and make their tea (and watch some of my telly)

I'd sometimes meet up with people or we'd jump in the car and go somewhere different but that was a typical day.

As a SAHM you can make connections with Mums that last a lifetime, but can be hard at first as a newbie Keep in touch with other friends/work friends on weekends and I'm sure you will make new friends also as a SAHM

My kids are five and three. Tomorrow I will:

Drop eldest (5) at school for 7.50am (in the US, school starts early).
Back home to clean up the kitchen, then drive 15 minutes to the gym with my youngest, while he goes to the creche.
Quick trip to the adjacent playground.
Back home for noon, as nearly 3-year-old has a speech delay and qualifies for 2 x weekly speech therapy at my home.
Lunch and nap.
Eldest off the school bus for 2.50pm. I either catch up on emails and admin, help build Lego with him, he has a friend over, or we go to activities.
Swimming, which is tomorrow, is a 25-minute drive, so I get the little guy up for 3.15, and they both have a private swimming lesson at 4pm.
Back home for dinner/show/bath/books/bed.
Clean up for 45 minutes when kids are in bed.

Rarely am I home, and I have a ton of SAHP friends, so go out at least twice a week of an evening, and meet up with friends and toddlers three times a week during the day.

Did you take any maternity leave? What did you do then. Are you afraid of your brain turning mush or do you just not like your own company as you don't sound that thrilled with the prospect of baby groups.

TBH I think you get out what you put in. It's like any friendship circle. If you invest you get returns. The best bit of advice I was given was don't be afraid to ask people out for coffee. Many other parents are shy and afraid or out of their depth. I took that advice and ten years later those Mums are still my best friends.

Good luck and enjoy your little one as the time flies.

A while ago now but after morning rush and school run then nursery drop we'd walk to feed ducks, do craft things like gluing and sticking, swimming,
Baby group, toddler and baby gym. When eldest two were in primary we'd meet up as group of mums with other little ones for coffee whilst they played, trips to park etc. By the time we'd done that it would be rushing to collect from nursery or school. It always felt busy.

I also did a part time OU course. There are loads of free courses on Futurelearn that cover all sorts of interests.

I have a nearly 4 yo and still take him to nct groups so defo check out what's available locally for you.

Aside from that - park (whatever the weather) for some fresh air, soft play, library, swim, museums,
I have a residents pass for my local sealife centre which has been good (definitely not worth a full price trip but if you have one locally that does the residents pass it's good), cinema (probs a bit young for you yet),

I make sure I meet up with friends as often as I can but it has got more difficult recently as they've all returned to work full time.

Otherwise - home activities like crafts, baking, kinetic sand fill some time. My DS is a 'flitter' and it can take me longer to set something up than he plays with it for but I've just accepted it now.

One thing I found useful was to ask on FB (either in a baby group you're in or on your page) where people take their kids - I then wrote a big list of different places and separated out into indoor/outdoor etc

All the playcentres tend to have a 'cheap day' too so make use of those - unless money is no problem in which case whenever suits I guess...

Join a gym with a crèche, you will meet lots of mums in the same situation as yourself and you can get fitter at the same time. Most gyms have a coffee shop and the mums meet afterwards. You will make friends and your life will be one big rush. After i have been to the gym and taken the dog out it's time to see to the evening meal.

I hated being on maternity leave tbh.

Watching this thread with interest. I was a full time student the first time round so think being a SAHM this time will be very different.

My SIL is a SAHM, she joined the national trust and spends a lot of time there with her DC. She lives in an area where they are abundant, though.

But even then what would you do, walk round the gardens all day?

I'd go to the library, go swimming once a week, went to toddler group (admittedly didn't really enjoy, just went for the routine), mooch around shops.
NCT do meet up - you don't have to join or have done the classes to attend.

Are you near family at all? Could you meet them once a week?

Does get easier as they get older.

No no family

Your DC will be walking soon if not already so a fair part of your day will he keeping him/her out of trouble

There's no magic wand that can make it the most amazing experience of your life every day.

What are you like? What do you enjoy?

Remember it well with tiny people and babies! The school run breaks the day up. Have yiu got any mummy friends to meet for cuppas, lunch etc?

What about baby swimmung, bore jingles etc

Aqua I hated mat leave too.

I don't mean to pry but are you sure this is the right and only decision possible?

You sound like you would be much happier at work. I was. Are you absolutely sure you have no choice but to leave?

I found DC1 the hardest as I had given up a great job and moved countries knowing no one except DH. I tackled it like a new job. I gave everything a try and stuck at groups until I found people I liked. I kept very active and made sure I did things for myself and not just for DC1.

I also used to go out for day trips with DS. He was too young to appreciate them but I enjoyed exploring. This is obviously more tricky if you are skint.
Even when I'd made friends I tended to do things with them that were more stimulating than sitting in coffee shops -which has its place but it would get repetitive.
When DS was a little older I volunteered at a young mothers unit once a week for a four hour shift. It was interesting and DS was welcome to come with me.
I also love gardening, crafts, DIY, sewing and online gaming. (I hated shopping though)
Basically you have to keep busy doing and make sure you go out a lot. Sitting around saying you're bored isn't going to help. 😂

My DC were quite easy and didn't sleep in the daytime very much so I didn't need to be home for nap times to much. It must be a lot harder if you have a tricky baby or if you are sleep deprived.

Join a gym, use creche, us spa etc.

Yeah, sadly I've no choice :)

Don't really have any friends apart from at work.

I went back to work when DD was 3 months, however I took a year out when she was 4 (we don't start school until the age of 5 here) after we relocated, I had to find a new job, get settled in the new house etc.

It is hard being stuck with young children all day. I found it extremely hard after we moved (200 miles) as we left behind all the other mums I became friends with when DD was a baby / toddler.

I took DD to the local Playcentre two mornings a weeks as my social interaction, yes there is a lot of walking aimlessly around parks and gardens but it's better than the alternative of sitting in doors all day and we had to clear off some days as DH worked nights and he wanted some peace and quiet to get some sleep.

Use to walk around the shops window shopping, swimming, museums, aquarium etc etc. Tbh I really valued that time with DD, looking back it was hard but I am so glad I did it, especially once she started school and I was back working full time.

Start trying to make mum friends.

I don't really like talking about babies all the time.

I don't really like talking about babies all the time.

Who says you have too?
You come across as very negative

What do you work as, are you part time at the moment?

That's all anybody talks about at baby groups.

Yeah part time.