To be quick about stuff?

[HardLightHologram]

DH's alarm didn't go off so he woke me up at 6.15 (I don't get up until 7) to make his sarnies.

It took me 7 minutes and I'm now back in bed with a coffee and my phone.

He is agog. Apparently it takes him a good twenty minutes and he is astounded that any human being can move so fast. He's calling me The Flash.

All it involves is buttering six slices of bread and slicing cheese and cucumber. I can't see how he drags it out for twenty minutes.

He made ds's lunchbox yesterday as he was off and the took him twenty minutes as well, 2 pate sarnies and a babybel, yoghurt, banana and biscuit.

When I decorate, it takes me a day to do a room, roughly. One coat in the morning and another late afternoon or evening. He's used to it now but it used to make him twitch.

Don't get me wrong, I am very lazy and will happily spend a day watching Netflix, but when I do get moving I like it to be speedy.

He also has half hour toilet trips but I'm not going there.

I think he's a faffer, he thinks I rush things. I say the results speak for themselves and my way is the best. If he would embrace my ways he'd have an extra 13 minutes in the morning to spend in the loo.

AIBU?

(This post actually took me ages because ds woke up and I had to make his breakfast and get him dressed, but that was a quick job as well).

why would you bother being good at menial boring unpaid tasks when there's someone else who takes pride in being a whiz at all these things

Exactly. Strategic incompetence must be very useful indeed to 'faffers'.

The faffers are pulling the strings, the domestic experts are cheerfully making rods for their own backs

Score:
Faffers one
Experts nill

the domestic experts are cheerfully making rods for their own backs

Not if you know how long something will take and MN first and do the job later. So no time for anything else.

Also, if anyone cares to say I have too much free time,I'll list everything I've done and put them to Shane.

Shame, even...

I think lots of faffers maybe won't be so faffy at work - but at home they need a 'holiday' - to use less self discipline.
(A bit like people used to be shocked at the state of my car (pre DCs too!) - I came across as very neat and tidy, organised at work - and at home ... inside my car was were I let it all go to pot)
I think I am pretty good at judging when DP is being deliberately useless...and when he really can't help it.
He doesn't get sometimes it is easier if you think 'just do it'.
The best eg I can think of off the top of my head - is getting rid of our old tv - a CRT it was quite bulky and heavy and we live up and down lots of steps. I could just about carry it -if he hadn't been around I would have done it on my own -probably would have needed a rest but it was not that heavy or that far. We'd got just out the door and he remembered he had a trolley. Before I could speak he rushed off to find it - to make it easier...by the time he had found it and brought it we could have had the TV in the car. Then (when I had chance) I said it was probably more hassle to use it. It wouldn't work on the the steps (3 lots -at least half the distance) so would need to keep lifting it off the trolley and carrying it, then carrying the trolley up and then picking the TV up again to put it back on. He agreed that that was more effort and we carried it to the car... (and he had to put the unused trolley away again). It took 3x longer than it needed to...

I do faff at work... but it doesn't especially matter in my job. But I'm not as slow as some of these things! Couldn't cope with cooking in sequence! But I often run out of time to chop veg while the first thing is cooking which can be a pain.

DH is more speedy (how is it that there always seems to be one tortoise and one hair in every marriage?) and he reckons that he could complete his daily work in about 2 hours but he has to stretch it out.

Nope, no rod for my back.

DP does all the ironing. I don't care how long it takes him, it's his job. And he cooks a couple of times a week plus does breakfasts at the weekend for us all. We share dishes and I do the majority of the washing as I'm home more.

The way I see it is I get more free time to sit down if I get my stuff done faster. It's no skin off my nose if he wastes an hour doing something that could be done in 30 minutes because he's missing out on sitting down and relaxing. I certainly don't take over his jobs!

I think the 'rod for your own back' thing only comes into play if the parallel activity person used their saved time to help out the single stepper. Those of us who sit on our arses with a cup of tea and MN aren't losing out.
At work DH generally needs to focus and be an expert. My work varies between periods of focus and juggling. DH can't do that without getting stressed.

Ho ho this is definitely true in our house. The rare occasions DH is in charge of preparing and serving a meal, I come in and clear up most of the mess by the time he's actually served and called the DC to the table. On a Saturday morning I sometimes get a lie in and when I come down it's chaos as DH has only managed to do one job - get breakfast. When I'm down first I put a laundry load on, tidy away anything left out from night before e.g. on drainer, clear up breakfast as it's finished, get DS's school bag ready, send them up to brush teeth, open the curtains, pick up and sort the post...

Thank you OP, this thread has helped me no end. I was so convinced that OH must do this deliberately.

It happens all the time but until this particular night I just didn't pay too much attention. Making dinner this night, OH started to peel a few potatoes at the sink, while I chopped some chicken and chucked it in a pan to fry off while I peeled and chopped onion, garlic, courgette, carrots, red, green and yellow peppers. I then needed a pan of water and had to ask him to stop peeling the potatoes so that I could get to the tap...that's when it hit me that he'd been at it for 20 mins to half an hour! How is that even possible?

Hello? Are any of you all still there? Thank you for sharing your stories. I LOVE this thread.

I'm a hare and I've married a tortoise. A deeply kind, loving tortoise...but still a tortoise. No matter. I've always been a hare so I can wizz about happily getting everything done.

Until I developed severe ME after the flu. 4 years on, I am still virtually housebound and during severe 'crashes' have to rely on my tortoise DH to do everything! I'm not sure I can cope any longer!!!!

I have to lie horizontally, listening or watching DH faffing and fannying about and THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT!!! I am so grateful that he hasn't deserted me, but I may have starved under his care if I hadn't been able to live off my hump! The pain (& hunger) I have listening to him slowly, painfully, chop a solitary carrot in the kitchen at 2pm when he's 'thinking' about lunch is unbearable. The multi-tasking involved in cooking and housekeeping sends him into a tailspin

He's also an IT/mathematical/logical thinker and moves along a linear line. He's tried to explain that he can't just switch around. I love that cartoon, I might send it to him.

After nearing internal combustion, I have persuaded DH to hire a cleaner. Well, he took so long thinking and planning it, I did it from the sofa and she's fabulous! After 3 years the house was seriously filthy....

The next step is a carer. I don't think I can cope without efficiency in the home anymore! I end up crashing myself as I stand upright to complete a task in 5 mins because I know it it will take him an hour.

The funny thing is, is that PP's have all agreed, living with a faffer raises your heart rate. I have severe tachycardia and wear a HR monitor. I can see my HR rising when the faffing begins..... I know it will affect my recovery rates and I have to try and quash the levels of frustration....

Hey, good job we didn't buy a doo-er upper house eh, oherwise I'd be living with DIY chaos too

I don't understand how people can be so slow!!! The worst of it, is that having ME catapaults you into the tortoise category yourself. It's torture!

for you all

Cucumber and cheese sandwiches are lovely!! Sorry, completely missed point of thread...

My alarm goes off at 7, and I am out of the door at 7.30am. In that time I wash, put on make up, get dressed, assemble my things and go.

DP's alarm also goes off at 7. He spends about 20m on the loo, 20m making and eating breakfast, 20m washing and getting dressed and 10m assembling all his stuff and leaving the house. He leaves the house between 8 and 8.30am.

Neither of us are morning people, but I'd rather just get ready and go as quickly as possible, to maximise sleep time and be able to leave work promptly in the afternoon.

See that's the problem with being a tortoise...and ill. By the time you have enough energy to type, all the threads have moved on!

Still, I luffs reading MN and I think it has saved me sanity whilst being housebound!

This thread makes me feel soooo much better. My husband is great, cooks, hoovers, puts a wash on etc, but it drives me mad he takes soooo long. He will ask if I want a cuppa, I might get one half an hour later. He makes tea it takes an hour. Washing up, half an hour. He eats breakfast stood up watching the tv so chews really really slowly. Love him dearly but could do with a rocket up his bum!