To be quick about stuff?

[HardLightHologram]

DH's alarm didn't go off so he woke me up at 6.15 (I don't get up until 7) to make his sarnies.

It took me 7 minutes and I'm now back in bed with a coffee and my phone.

He is agog. Apparently it takes him a good twenty minutes and he is astounded that any human being can move so fast. He's calling me The Flash.

All it involves is buttering six slices of bread and slicing cheese and cucumber. I can't see how he drags it out for twenty minutes.

He made ds's lunchbox yesterday as he was off and the took him twenty minutes as well, 2 pate sarnies and a babybel, yoghurt, banana and biscuit.

When I decorate, it takes me a day to do a room, roughly. One coat in the morning and another late afternoon or evening. He's used to it now but it used to make him twitch.

Don't get me wrong, I am very lazy and will happily spend a day watching Netflix, but when I do get moving I like it to be speedy.

He also has half hour toilet trips but I'm not going there.

I think he's a faffer, he thinks I rush things. I say the results speak for themselves and my way is the best. If he would embrace my ways he'd have an extra 13 minutes in the morning to spend in the loo.

AIBU?

(This post actually took me ages because ds woke up and I had to make his breakfast and get him dressed, but that was a quick job as well).

Oh - also - does anyone else have one who assigns a COMPLETELY FUCKING RANDOM TIME to a task.

Apparently, if you need to wash up and clean the kitchen, in the morning (we are slatterns who don't automatically wash up after a meal) before going out, then if you are leaving the house at 11, it is ok to ignore your task whilst pissing about on the internet and when someone else asks you when you are going to do said task you say imperiously 'I am planning to start the washing up at 10.30 precisely, it is not yet 10.30 precisely so I will not be washing up.' They will then finish the washing up at 10.59 and 55 seconds.

BoSelecta oh the cutlery! That's the worst bit!!!!

He woke you up to make his sarnies?? What the actual fuck? Are you his mother? Why are people getting in a tizz about how long it takes men to make food and not about this? If he can't get up in time, he goes without. That'd learn 'im.

IdBuy that is weird but I have some sympathy - I prefer to start a job at "proper" time, like half past or quarter to, but I'd never leave a job till the last possible available time slot!

DH does this, but less precisely - faff faff faff faff faff faff faff faff running out of time now faff faff faff start job with not enough time left. Late. Every fucking time

I really don't mind that he asked! It's a one off, he works very hard and does a lot for me. Besides, I am having a pj day today so getting up a bit early was no skin off my nose.

Sorry haven't RTFT but I am a natural-born faffer who sees the light.

Internet housework guru "Flylady" recommends that faffers motivate themselves in just this way: Set a timer for 15 minutes and work in a hard and focused way on a specific task, then stop and put your feet up for 15 minutes. Repeat. Works really well for me. I still have trouble getting moving properly without the timer but that's okay.

My DP: two hours to make tomato pasta sauce- kitchen devastated in the process
Two hours to get up, get dressed, have breakfast and leave the house - and there's always a last minute rush
Forty minutes to take a shit
Physically cannot leave the house on time

It's a weird combination of being easily distracted, being quite precise, being terrible at time keeping and being awful at forward-planning.

I do so enjoy my Sitting and Netflixing time

that is weird but I have some sympathy - I prefer to start a job at "proper" time, like half past or quarter to, but I'd never leave a job till the last possible available time slot!

But once assigned do you give it enshrined-in-law status?

I'm disposed to be a faffer BUT can move if I need to.

DP can get up and out in no time - I need to 'wake up' - it takes me a good 20 mins to hit daylight - otherwise I end up going round in circles forgetting to do stuff...
Around the house he will do things quickly but not very well -I once saw him hoovering the stairs - one swipe across each step - didn't seem to notice the crap still on there in the edges ... I can fly through things like that and do them to a higher standard. (And it isn't him being pathetic trying to trick me into doing it - he does that too sometimes and like someone else said that just means he needs practice )
I can walk into a chaotic mess eg the kitchen (teen DD with ADHD - think normal teen mess x 10 and I need to pick my battles) and have it transformed in minutes - DP thinks this is some kind of special skill - things like that would take him ages. He made the mistake once of complimenting me by telling me how good I am at housework and it made me want to punch him -he has never been so patronising again.
I can seem to be very organised and efficient -and that is really a form of laziness too. Trying to work out the absolute easiest way of doing something. If I do something instantly it is usually because otherwise I will forget/procrastinate. (I go to meetings - often I will do most of my tasks straight afterwards and put anything longer term on my do to list ...I never need to read the minutes and often don't get round to it )
I should say I have just been diagnosed with ADHD and I read somewhere recently that one coping strategy is to have almost OCD like behaviour -and I recognised that. Everything in the house has a home and it goes back to it - and if something isn't where it is supposed to be, I can't find it I get really distressed. But that is because I hate looking for things - I am too lazy!

I'dBuy - of course not - that'd be weird - If a job needs doing it needs doing quickly, efficiently lazily so I can get back to relaxing.

Even my cleaning lady comments on how fast I am when I'm tidying up and putting clothes away when she's there.

And then I go and do some work at the computer (MN, usually). When I'm at home.

Yup i feel you.

It takes me an hour to get three kids ready. (And myself) I make packed lunches and breakfast one handed whilst holding a baby. Feed the baby. Dress the baby. Make sure the kids are dressed and fed ready for school. Bags are packed.

And he's barely got him self ready in that time.

I just don't get it!

But the whole point of a PJ day is that you can actually sleep and not wake up at 6.15

"he woke me up at 6.15 (I don't get up until 7) to make his sarnies"

You lost me there

Same here ^^!
Anyone waking me up like that would be taking a chance...

I could have written this post!!! This week I've been feeling under the weather so DH has been in charge. On my days, I would have made a cooked breakfast for my eldest DS and he's kicked out the house by 7.45 to catch a bus, DD is fed, brushed and ready by 7.35 waiting for a bus to collect her at 8.10, while in the meantime I'll have cleaned the whole kitchen, sorted the dining room out and just generally put things in order. I'm having a nice breakfast by 8.20 and watching "Everybody loves Raymond." Whilst DH was in charge and I was dying in bed (thought I was going to bleed to death, I know TMI, sorry) all I could hear was screaming and shouting, when I managed to come downstairs at about 10.30 the kitchen looked like a bomb had hit it and he was sat on the couch with dry cereal because he forgot to put the milk on. Today I'm back in charge and DH was meant to be at work at 10.00 he's only just got out the shower and it's 10.22, bearing in mind that I got the DC ready, I'm really not sure what he's been doing. Good job he's self employed!!! I have to add that I am the laziest person you will ever meet but I like things done quickly so I can go back to being lazy

I agree when I do a job I do it quick. Dh spends ages doing anything and is easily distracted. And like you op. Why do I do it quickly...? So I can sit down again because actually yes I like being lazy! but is it being lazy if you have done all your jobs...

My DH is Aussie and he's so slow you could cook a three course meal by the time he'd made a cup of tea. Almost literally. EVERYONE here in Oz where we live is maddeningly slow.

I'm FAST and it drives me potty. Walking down the road...in our sleepy country town...there's a woman and a man chatting in the middle of the path.

You have to be ON TOP of them before they notice you. Then they say "Oh! Ha ha! Didn't see you there..." in a really slow drawl....then they wait for you to acknowledge this statement....which you have to do or they will think you massively rude...once they're satisfied that you understood them and that you are also amused by the "predicament" then they will begin their slow perambulation to the side of the path.

AAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

I'm so happy to find other lazy and amazingly efficient people like me! I've been like it since I was a kid. Worked hard through free periods to have less homework to do in the evening. Got my essays done weeks in advance of the deadline to get them out of the way. It totally backfired the time I finished the cross-country course as fast as I could though; they put me in the squad

Love that Bill Gates quote too. I'm going to use that next time DH calls me slapdash...

I have a faffer too. I can put DD to bed in 20 mins (pyjamas, brush teeth, story), he takes an hour. When she was a baby, I could change her nappy in about 30 seconds even one-handed, he would take 10 mins. I can make dinner in half an hour, he takes up to 2 hours (and makes an unholy mess while I tidy as I go). It used to drive me INSANE but I just roll with it now. He's not lazy and is every bit as hands-on as me, he just likes to take his time. His spirit animal is definitely a sloth!

I am also speedy and my husband is known as The Snail, The Glacier etc. He spends 20mins in the shower. Takes 3 weeks to paint a bedroom. Stands and watches the toaster while it toasts

I shower in 3mins, cut the grass in 10mins, paint a room in a day, empty & load the dishwasher, feed the cats, get the kids' breakfast made & themat the table and the sink filled for washing up while the toaster is on.

It drives me BONKERS. I like to get stuff done and move into the next and get everything done so I can relax. We were late for DD's swimming lesson this morning and I was waiting to lock the front door. DH had the keys, he reached so slowly for them and passed them to me at such sloth speed I'm surprised we haven't already had Christmas in the meantime. Then he tells me off for 'snatching'. Fucking come on then you goon.

CHEERS TO SPEEDY ORGANISERS OF THE WORLD!

I call DH Arfur - because he does half a job.

Decides to hoover - opens cupboard & gets Hoover out
Notices light bulb has gone in cupboard. Goes to get lightbulb from his tool cupboard
Opens tool cupboard. Notices it needs tidying. Starts tidying
Finds something he was looking for previously to do a different job. Goes off to do THAT job
Gets a phone call. Drops everything to answer it
Forgets what he was doing & starts making lunch
Remembers ONE of the things he was doing & abandons lunch, kitchen a mess
Remembers halfway through job one that he was doing job 2. Returns to kitchen
Sees lunch stuff......

You get the idea.

Should see how long it takes my DH to prep a roast dinner!

I'm on the other side of this, it seems to take me ages to accomplish anything - especially at the moment. I was woken by the baby at about 7.10 today, he fed for an hour and fell asleep on me so I tried to put him down, he woke up, did a bit of patting and sshhing but he was definitely awake. So put him in the bathroom, had a shower, got dressed, dried my hair, got him dressed. Put a washload on, emptied the dryer and put stuff away. Put bin out (probably too late for bin men - bugger). Put baby on playmat and got some cereal for breakfast. Baby started shouting, picked him up and started the next feed. It's now 10.30 and I haven't had breakfast, cleaned my teeth, cleaned up the kitchen from last nights dinner or dealt with the heap of packaging DH left on the floor after unpacking and building the highchair last night. The problem is that I have; read quite a lot on MN and FB, looked up a version of 12 days of Christmas so I could sing it to DS, filed my nails because one of them was broken and let the baby semi-sleep on me because I'm never quite sure he's finished feeding.
In contrast DH thinks he's very efficient, he came home last night, helped with bathing baby, built a highchair and made dinner by 8.30 then lazed. All well and good but to me the tasks aren't finished. The kitchen looked like a bomb site as he does no clearing as he goes along, still veg peelings on the chopping board and so on (I don't mind doing the clearing up if he cooks but I expect it to be the things that couldn't be done during the cooking process, pots and pans and plates etc. Not chopping boards) the highchair packing is strewn around and when he went to get DSs towel from the tumble dryer he got out just the towel and left the rest. So in my view efficient but incomplete. I assume when you are all saying you make sandwiches in 5 mins that would include putting everything properly wrapped back in the fridge, knife in the dishwasher, chopping board washed and worktop wiped down? If so I'm very impressed, it would definitely take me longer.

I love this thread!

I'm married to a faffer too. What pains me the most is watching him wash up. There's so much unnecessary moving of items from one surface to another. He stacks all the plates on the kitchen counter before then putting them in the dishwasher. Why? Just put everything straight in the dishwasher, wash the remaining pans by hand and the job's done.

I find it actually painful to see him standing in the kitchen slowly moving things around rather than washing anything.

So much so that I can't stop myself giving helpful tips! He tells me to go away and that he still gets the job done so he can't understand why it bothers me.
But it just does!