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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be quick about stuff?

215 replies

HardLightHologram · 09/12/2016 06:45

DH's alarm didn't go off so he woke me up at 6.15 (I don't get up until 7) to make his sarnies.

It took me 7 minutes and I'm now back in bed with a coffee and my phone.

He is agog. Apparently it takes him a good twenty minutes and he is astounded that any human being can move so fast. He's calling me The Flash.

All it involves is buttering six slices of bread and slicing cheese and cucumber. I can't see how he drags it out for twenty minutes.

He made ds's lunchbox yesterday as he was off and the took him twenty minutes as well, 2 pate sarnies and a babybel, yoghurt, banana and biscuit.

When I decorate, it takes me a day to do a room, roughly. One coat in the morning and another late afternoon or evening. He's used to it now but it used to make him twitch.

Don't get me wrong, I am very lazy and will happily spend a day watching Netflix, but when I do get moving I like it to be speedy.

He also has half hour toilet trips but I'm not going there.

I think he's a faffer, he thinks I rush things. I say the results speak for themselves and my way is the best. If he would embrace my ways he'd have an extra 13 minutes in the morning to spend in the loo.

AIBU?

(This post actually took me ages because ds woke up and I had to make his breakfast and get him dressed, but that was a quick job as well).

OP posts:
MrsHathaway · 09/12/2016 19:07

He really hasn't done anything wrong.

Well, apart from the sandwich spread / cheese / cucumber travesty ...

NapQueen · 09/12/2016 19:17

I've been known to clean our entire flat on the time it takes dh to do the dishes. I strip and remake beds, all clothes away, vac through, wipe down surfaces, bin all the crap and he is still choosing his play list!

Bjazzle · 09/12/2016 19:18

My dp is the same, if not worse.
He could take a good hour making a sandwich.
He takes 30 minutes to have a 'quick shower'
40 minutes to make the babys' bottle, thats not including cooling down time btw, it takes 3 minutes in microwave to sterilise one bottle and 1-2 minutes to boil the kettle so takes me 4 minutes, 5 if I have to wash bottle before hand.
I can get me and baby ready in the time it takes for him to brush his teeth.
After an average evening meal, he can take anywhere from 40 minutes to 2 hours washing up, even then leaving the pans to soak.
He says I dont do things properly but I do. I must admit he rarely does any jobs around the house cos I could do them much quicker.

PurpleMcPants · 09/12/2016 19:43

so much 'oh isn't he silly and useless, he he..' on this thread. Why would one handle 3 kids simultaneously, feeding one while dressing the other with the other hand, while their other parent is leisurely just getting himself ready?
I was one who said we take the same time, but in our case my DH is up, ready and out before my alarm even goes off so although we take the same length of time, it's not at the same time if you see what I mean.
He doesn't help the kids because he's already at work.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 09/12/2016 19:53

DH is someone who does things in series rather than parallel. So rather that look at the whole job and organise it he starts with step 1. When step 1 is complete move on to step 2. So if he had to do something where step 3 involved boiling water he would put the kettle on after step 2 was complete whereas I'd put it on before starting step 1.

So fill and turn on kettle, peel & cut potatoes, into pan with boiled water.
DH would peel and cut and then heat the water.

oldlaundbooth · 09/12/2016 20:01

The nan with the Mellow Birds is one of the best things I've read on here in a while Grin

Original poster
HardLightHologram · 09/12/2016 20:52

Yes ! It's the steps. Dh is a software engineer and I think that's just how his brain is wired. He can eat his breakfast while the butter is softening (wtf? It's spread not real butter Confused) because that's 'logical'. But he couldn't drink his tea while chopping tomatoes. It wouldn't compute.

OP posts:
Forgetmenotblue · 09/12/2016 21:06

I get one week day off each week. I get the DC to school and then race around like a mad thing doing household jobs. I aim to be on the sofa with tea and toast by 9.30 for a box set, and stay there for the rest of the day. My first thought with any task ever is how fast can it be done to a reasonable standard. (This is the only way I've survived 20+ years in teaching) I'm very lazy.

Patriciathestripper1 · 09/12/2016 21:12

I knew there were others out there like me!
Keep speedy speedy ninja sisters 😄

Forgetmenotblue · 09/12/2016 21:19

It's definitely about intersecting the tasks. Fill kettle and turn on, during which time, feed cat and load washing machine. Then make the tea. Whilst it brews, make packed lunches. Pour tea into mugs getting cereal bowls out at same time. Leave milk out for cereal-eaters to use. Put cereal on table whilst getting spoons to stir tea, put spoons on table,as well for cereal. I can do this lot in about 5 minutes.

DH would do these as separate jobs and take 20 minutes.

Forgetmenotblue · 09/12/2016 21:22

Posted too soon...

DH sees these as: feed cat, load washing machine, make tea, lay table, put out breakfast things, make packed lunches. He can't see the overlaps that let you make it fast.

Lifeonthefarm · 09/12/2016 21:55

I have a faffer too

Takes him an hour to write an email that should take ten minutes max.

What I cannot fathom is that he is a successful business man, general doer, and get things done-erer. Yet at home etc he is slower than slow.

IvysMum12 · 09/12/2016 22:09

PurpleMcPants - an hour to cook a stir - fry?
My Dh took 4 hours to make an apple crumble. Excluding cooking time!

JellyBelli · 09/12/2016 22:13

Aaarrgh! I cant watch people drag things out, I'd have to step outside for calming thoughts.

justdontevenfuckingstart · 09/12/2016 22:44

He gets up at half five. I get up at 6.20. Put kettle on, feed the dogs make his pack up for work. (yes I do this because I like doing it because he works hard and I luffs him) make him a coffee (because I want to) empty dishwasher and stuff. See him off with a kiss and I love you and usually back in bed with a big mug of tea by half six. Don't start work til ten but stuff done. I am a lazy person too.

whowouldknow · 09/12/2016 22:56

I reckon they do it on purpose - so the flashes will swoop in and sort it all out for them Angry us flashes like to think we're superior but sometimes I reckon the faffers gave it sussed Grin

SpookyPotato · 09/12/2016 22:56

Cucumber and cheese is amazing! Grin

I'm exactly like you OP, I do everything really quickly, efficiently and energetically so I can relax on the couch as soon as possible. My DP is always saying "just relax, you're always busy!" but I just probably look a bit mad before my arse firmly plants itself Grin It's all good though, in his mind I'm super mum/partner while I'm actually spending hours mumsnetting..

Heidi2016 · 09/12/2016 22:59

Has anyone used aptamil reflux formula? I've just moved my 3 month baby over to it from cowandgate as she was always being sick.
She has had 2 bottles, both bottles took her a while to take and she didn't finish both feeds. What I'm worried about is that when I was washing the bottles up I noticed the milk was lumpy?! Has anyone else had this?
Thanks

DeepanKrispanEven · 09/12/2016 23:11

Was that intended for another thread, Heidi?

GiddyOnZackHunt · 09/12/2016 23:20

Oh yes the cucumber and cheese. With mayonnaise.

ragdoll700 · 09/12/2016 23:43

My DH is exactly like this I cannot and have given up trying to make him quicker if I want speed I do it my self

NovemberInDailyFailLand · 09/12/2016 23:52

Y/y to multi-overlapping-tasking. Like when I am doing night feeds with the baby, I will put the bottle in a small amount of hot water to warm, so it is done by the time I have finished changing him. DH will change him, then warm the bottle, waking the baby up even more so he wakes me up too and takes ages to settle back. I use the minimum effort system :)

Heidi, ask your HV about reflux formula before changing. It's thicker and you'll need a faster flow teat, ok? :p

ErnesttheBavarian · 10/12/2016 06:26

Sorry, not rtft, but did want to say some people are naturally slow movers and it is a pain. I think I was only aware for the 1st time that I am a natural tortoise when I word as an au pair. The woman asked me to peel carrots and she was freaking on me that it took me so long and barking at me to speed up. It clearly became an obsession and she was on about how slow I was. It stressed me so much because I just couldn't move any quicker. Like flogging a donkey for not whizzing along like a race horse.

My dh moans about how slow I am too. Ds 1 is a hare. Ds 3 is a tortoise like me. I marvel at people's speed. I don't think it is faffing. I just physically can't move any quicker. Like when I was in school and we were doing the long jump and the teacher was yelling 'sprint, SPRINT' at me. I can run long (have done 1/2 marathon) but cannot run fast.

Has anyone ever managed to transition from tortoise to hare? I feel sorry for my tortoise dc. It much be bloody brilliant to be a hare Envy

Lweji · 10/12/2016 06:31

It much be bloody brilliant to be a hare

In a crisis, yes. We're great. :)

Day to day, I think we are too lazy or end up doing too many side things and the tortoises can catch up, yes. :)

DooWhop · 10/12/2016 06:32

OMG so with you on this one. What th my DH it's due to endless slow brewing of coffee which he stands and waits for Hmm whilst playing on his phone. He gets all stressy when im whizzing around getting my stuff done. Always offers me a cuppa too despite KNOWING I only like to have it when I'm finished.

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