Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to get my haircut in a way that DH won't like?

159 replies

OrangeCupcake · 08/12/2016 19:58

I've always been keen to have my hair like this, even as a teen, but always kept it long.

DH says no way, but I really want to Sad not exactly like the picture, but that's as close I can get showing you what I mean.

WIBU to get it cut like that even though he would hate it?

WIBU to get my haircut in a way that DH won't like?
OP posts:
dementedpixie · 10/12/2016 09:42

How does he know he won't like it if he's never seen your hair that way?

PacificDogwod · 10/12/2016 09:46

I just did just that - cut my long hair to a pixie AND stopped straightening it, embracing my curls. DH is fond of long hair and likes it straight and swishy Grin
He's got over it.
DSs were absolutely scandalised though.

I love it, the men in my life have not run away, so meh.
It's only hair.

OP, you do what you want Thanks

Oh, and DH has facial hair which I dislike, but it's his face/his choice. And as PP have said when he shaves the odd time, I tend to not even notice.... Blush

RestlessTraveller · 10/12/2016 09:48

SarahNM I'm really not saying this in spite, but I think you could do with some work on your self-esteem. Flowers

PacificDogwod · 10/12/2016 09:50

Sarah, really?
I find your post really quite sad.
It has a flavour of 'surrendered wife' to it.

RaisingSteam · 10/12/2016 09:54

I suspect the DH is having difficulties imagining the OP with short hair and once it's done he'll wonder what he was worried about. You can always grow it back if you change your mind.

Some diamond stud earrings and a great lipstick would set it off nicely if he's stuck for a Christmas present Grin.

JerryFerry · 10/12/2016 10:02

Sarah that sounds like something out of a 50s wife magazine

Minivaperviper · 10/12/2016 10:09

I'd get it done anyway, I used to always have flat boring hair so I got it cut against a dp wishes,when he seen it he said I did it to piss him off Hmm.

Since then I've allowed dps to have a say in their preference but most wouldn't tell me not to do it.

I have chin length styled bob, so much nicer and I haven't ever had any comolina and one found it extremely attractive, except one guy I was dating telling me I should grow my hair long he got binned.

People can have an opinion but that's all it is.

kingly I like that style maybe a a new summer look for me Grin.

Minivaperviper · 10/12/2016 10:10

Cómoliña - complaints*

Floisme · 10/12/2016 10:24

I have to say, I always tell my husband what I think of his hair and his clothes and he does the same for me. In fact particularly hate it when he grows his hair as it drags down his face, making him look permanently miserable. And I tell him.

So I don't think there's anything wrong with him saying what he thinks, just as long as you can do the same with him. However if the advice only went one way and you always felt obliged to follow it then that would be troubling.

Toadinthehole · 10/12/2016 10:36

There are two posts by the OP on this thread. Neither suggest that her DH has done more than express his opinion. Anyone who thinks this is unacceptable is either delusional or needs to step away from the Internet. It's everyone's right to wear their hair as they please. But no none has the obligation to pretend they like it or to lie about their opinion if asked. I suspect that a lot of those talking big on this thread aren't quite so fundamentalist in RL.

SarahNM · 10/12/2016 10:40

RestlessTraveller - about my own appearance? Certainly! Most of the time I look in the mirror and am happy but a couple of weeks every six months I think I look the pits and wish everything about myself was slimmer/prettier/more-conventional. Maybe it's just dramatisation on the part of the media - but I thought my ratios of general self-loathing about my appearance wasn't too shabby. Certainly something to improve on though!

To the others who think I'm being repressed; well I'm not really sure what to say! Why would wanting your husband to think you were attractive be controversial? Sure, I'm going to love my husband no matter what, and I'll always want to be with him, he'd still be my best friend - but if he gained 5 or 6 stone, I might be less giddy when I saw him, and be less interested in taking him to my bed. Why on earth would I want my husband to feel that about me? And hair-styles - particularly long to short can be that much of a turn-off for some guys. If he told me he'd be less attracted to me with short hair then I'd believe him.

My marriage is the single most important relationship in my life - till death and all that. He can still make me feel butterflies after 14 years and 4 kids, I adore him and if he thinks I'm prettier with plaits or maxi skirts why not style myself to please us both? He certainly does.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/12/2016 10:44

Op do it! Its your hair and your body, nobody should control it. If it looks bad so what, hair grows. My dh hates short hair, but I have it any funky short hair I can, as it is ultra fine, and takes ages to grow. My body, I can do with what I wish.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 10/12/2016 10:46

I've told dh I'll leave him if he gets a tattoo

KlingybunFistelvase · 10/12/2016 10:50

Would you honestly do that dame or is it an empty threat (promise I won't tell your DH) Grin?

dingdongthewitchishere · 10/12/2016 10:53

Of course, nobody should control your body, but it's ok for a partner to have an opinion Confused

It sounds like odd relationships when husbands are not allowed to open their mouth, not allowed to express a preference, but expected to shut up and do as they are told. Don't get me wrong, whatever works for you, but I would hate to be in a relationship with a doormat.

AnyFucker · 10/12/2016 11:04

Many men are stuck in the sexist past when it comes to female fashion. Some of them fetishise what it means to be a "woman"

Long hair. High heels. Stockings. Etc.

Do you see many transwomen with pixie hair styles and boyfriend jeans ? No. This is the same thing.

OP, get your hair cut the way you want to.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 10/12/2016 11:04

No one is saying they can't have an opinion. It's the 'no way' etc that is wrong and controlling.

dementedpixie · 10/12/2016 11:08

Yes, the dh didn't express an opinion, he said 'no way' which is completely different. If the OP has wanted this style for years then she will regret not trying it. It is hair, it will grow back

Fairlyfullmoon · 10/12/2016 11:11

One of the first things that attracted me to dp was her hair, in my mind she wouldn't suit short hair and although I couldn't stop her doing it I really wouldn't like it if she did. I think some women look gorgeous with short hair but long is definitely my preference. Surely we all have a preference when it comes to attraction.

I'm female too btw

CaraAspen · 10/12/2016 11:11

The short hair will you look less attractive...

CaraAspen · 10/12/2016 11:12

...make you look...

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 10/12/2016 11:14

The short hair will you look less attractive

How blinkered.....

CaraAspen · 10/12/2016 11:14

I couldn't be with anyone who had a tattoo.
(Re another post)

MarklahMarklah · 10/12/2016 11:22

Your hair, your choice.

dingdongthewitchishere · 10/12/2016 11:23

Many men are stuck in the sexist past when it comes to female fashion

oh for crying out loud. People have preferences. I prefer my husband tanned and toned. I am still with him when he's wearing a suit in the London winter. I happen to be straight, but I do like to see women in amazing gowns at the various film premieres and ceremonies. I find it disappointing if an actress is wearing jeans that day. Shoot me.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.