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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to get my haircut in a way that DH won't like?

159 replies

OrangeCupcake · 08/12/2016 19:58

I've always been keen to have my hair like this, even as a teen, but always kept it long.

DH says no way, but I really want to Sad not exactly like the picture, but that's as close I can get showing you what I mean.

WIBU to get it cut like that even though he would hate it?

WIBU to get my haircut in a way that DH won't like?
OP posts:
Happyoutlook · 08/12/2016 20:23

My DW hates beards, I have never had one since we have been together. I like them I would grow a long biker beard. However I won't because she is the one who has to look at it, and I respect her feelings.

Liara · 08/12/2016 20:23

Your hair. I do not tell dh how to do his grooming, and he does not tell me.

If we did tell each other, we would also ignore each other. Would your dh take whatever hair style you dictate?

However, having had hair that's long and short and everything in between (including half my head shaved off, and no, I didn't ask for permission from anyone before doing that either) I have to say that the hairstyle you are going for will be reasonably high maintenance, and require trimming at least every 5-6 weeks. If you are up for that go for it!

user1467976192 · 08/12/2016 20:26

Hair grows.. if you don't like it you can grow it out.. I cut my hair short after a dying accident and liked it so much it's been short since

mathanxiety · 08/12/2016 20:27

Why did you discuss it with him? Why did you discuss it with your family?

FlappysMammyAndPopeInExile · 08/12/2016 20:28

Short hair can look stunningly stylish. And let's face it - eventually it will grow again if you don't like it.

I suspect that people are just used to you as you are.

SallyGinnamon · 08/12/2016 20:28

I'd say it depends on the shape of your face as to whether it would suit you. I had my hair cut short and I looked very masculine - I ended up wearing loads of make up to feel feminine (and I hate make up). DH didn't like it either so I grew it back.

But I hate moustaches and beards so DH didn't do Movember either. Fairs fair.

PineappleExpress · 08/12/2016 20:31

My DH and lots of other people told me not to cut my hair off. I agreed I would keep growing it for our wedding last year (my choice as well so I had more options). 2 days after the wedding I had it all chopped offGrin
18 months later it is "growing on" DH, but he complains every single time I get a trim. I just laugh at him and tell him I look awesome.

Mine is a bit like this...

WIBU to get my haircut in a way that DH won't like?
HemanOrSheRa · 08/12/2016 20:33

Thanks Klingy. I think I will go for it in the new year.

My DW hates beards, I have never had one since we have been together. I like them I would grow a long biker beard. However I won't because she is the one who has to look at it, and I respect her feelings. That's very good of you Happy but I don't think we are talking about the same thing here. Long hair vs short hair for women is not the same as facial hair for men. For what it's worth, I'm not overly keen on facial hair in men. However DP has had every beardy weirdy combination of facial hair you can think of! When he shaves it off to 'start again' sometimes I don't even notice BlushGrin.

creakyknees13 · 08/12/2016 20:36

My DW hates beards, I have never had one since we have been together. I like them I would grow a long biker beard. However I won't because she is the one who has to look at it, and I respect her feelings

OK, but she would have to kiss your biker beard, so it's slightly different. But if she told you she preferred shaved heads, would you go along with that?

AndNowItsSeven · 08/12/2016 20:38

Yabu, if you love your dp why would you want to look a certain why that you know he doesn't like?

lborgia · 08/12/2016 20:38

My mother CRIED when I had my hair cut - admittedly it went from bum length to chin length in one fell swoop, but it was ridiculous.

Also, a previous controlling, tried to kill me boyfriend "insisted" on me keeping my hair long.

When he left, so did the hair....

It's not about them. And, I don't agree that beards are the same issue, Happy, as if someone is kissing you/sleeping with you, the beard will be a physical issue for them, not just a visual one! But I still think you should grow a beard for a few months if you want to try it. No gender bias for me.

creakyknees13 · 08/12/2016 20:39

Also, OP, I love Evan Rachel Wood's hair, but I reckon it would need daily styling. Otherwise, it would presumably just flop and look a bit blah. I would possibly have it a tiny bit longer, just to give some options with clips and stuff if it was a bit flat, but short enough so that you could style it like ERW has in the photo. She's so beautiful.

ThatWhiteElephant · 08/12/2016 20:42

Do it. It's your hair and you should cut it to your liking.
I have done this several times (cut really long hair to almost pixie cut) and didn't even tell my dh.

SexLubeAndAFishSlice · 08/12/2016 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HellonHeels · 08/12/2016 20:44

Are you serious NowItsSeven? If OP's DP loves her why isn't he happy for her to have autonomy over her own hair?

Twooter · 08/12/2016 20:45

I would like hair that looked like the photo, but when I've had mine short it's always looked really frumpy so I can imagine this is what your dh is worried about. It's all very well saying that it's your choice, but you don't want your dh to find you unattractive.

MotherOfBeagles · 08/12/2016 20:46

your hair your choice! my first bf i was with for 4 years and he wouldnt let me cut my hair the day after we split i cut 14 inches off and it was heaven. Had a short pixie cut for years and then couldnt afford cuts so it grew long again.

It was long when i met my dh and went from waist length hair up to the wedding so i could get it up properly. My dh and family didnt want me to get it cut. A week later i got 12 inches off again and i felt happy finally! after i got it done my dh loves it and openly admits he was wrong (and stupid lol).

AndNowItsSeven · 08/12/2016 20:48

Hellon of course the op can choose how she has her hair, it just an odd choice to deliberately make yourself look a certain why that your partner finds not very attractive.

Headofthehive55 · 08/12/2016 20:49

Your hair, your choice. However, you may feel slightly different if you realise your DH fancied you less. You may not care!

Some people are more visual based than others.

Blacksox · 08/12/2016 20:50

It's absolutely your choice, but I have long hair and my dh is always saying how much he loves it, so I'd feel he would hate it if I cut it off.

But then, I feel my long curly hair is part of my identity. Plus, short curly hair? Never a good look!

Shesinfashion · 08/12/2016 20:51

Well cut it how you like as long as you're prepared for him thinking you look awful and not fancying you as much.

Potplant · 08/12/2016 20:54

Your hair, your head. Do what you want with it. If you don't like it, well it grows back.

AndNowItsSeven · 08/12/2016 20:57
  • way not why
pictish · 08/12/2016 20:58

Seven a lot of men...and in fact women as well, don't like short hair on women because it detracts from their role as an ornament that's conventionally supposed to look a certain way.

FurryLittleTwerp · 08/12/2016 20:58

My hair is very like Klngy's, except a bit shorter at the back & longer at the front.

DH prefers me with long shaggy, layered hair, exactly like it was when we met Hmm , but styles change, it's my hair, it's no longer the 1980s & I'm bloody 51 FFS Grin

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