It's very subtle and I'm probably going to be told I'm ridiculous because it's so hard to explain with examples but i feel bullied by a work colleague.
So I sit on a desk either in the same office or one in the room opposite and he will often pop round and say hi. Several times a day he says hello and it's because of this that I feel I may be wrong to feel bullied and he does go out of his way to say hello so it would seem he doesn't actively dislike me personally. He will go into the other office to say hello when I'm not in his. He is socially confident so likes to chat at people's desk and in this respect doesn't act differently towards me.
But this is where the friendliness ends. He will actively,several times a week go round the office asking anyone if they want to go for lunch with him. But he won't ask me. I don't have a great desire to go but it's a rather obvious snub. It's literally everyone in the office except me and one person commented that he doesn't like going for lunch with me. I felt quite embarrassed. He regularly has house parties at his house but he will not invite me. He invites everyone in the office except me and he does it by asking them if they want to come when I'm not there.
He will get up to make a drink and will grab everyone's cup except mine and make them a drink. Sometimes he looks at me when he's making the drinks but never takes my mug.
He sometimes brings food in from home and he will offer some people it from the tin but never ever me. He just puts in on the side and asks me to help myself.
He was ordering food from his dads website at a discount and asked what people wanted but again, didn't ask me.
He asked everyone for their facebook but when it came to me he pretended he needed to add me for work when I know that's not the case. We aren't even allowed it at work.
In the beginning I would invite him along with other colleagues out for drinks and he would always decline. So he obviously doesn't want to be in contact outside of work which is fine. But I'm worried these invites made him uncomfortable.
I'm wondering if he took me the wrong way. It's now an open invitation and anyone who wants to come can. It's very popular but he never goes when I'm there and if he does he doesn't speak to me.
There will always be people at work we don't like. But he makes me feel excluded and bullied to be honest.
He has also made comments about me being the type of person who
would sleep with anyone although he did apologise several times afterwards
If I need to discuss work with him he will reply quickly to my first text but never ever any subsequent ones unless it's during work time.
He did get disciplined by the manager for not inviting me to his fundraising night so I was pleased the management had felt on that occasion the excluding warranted a discussion. That made me feel better and like I wasn't being paranoid.
I have never discussed this with anyone as I'm worried I will look ridiculous.
Nothing is going to change, I'm not even going to bother myself with why he's like this. I just need you to tell me I'm not being unreasonable and ridiculous. That being excluded, even if it's subtle things like this, is bullying and it's okay for me to feel upset by it.
There's more really, but I just can't explain it.