to think school can't require dd to come back in the evening for performance?

[tankerdale]

Genuinely don't know if IABU. DD is year 4. Christmas production is a play featuring mainly years 5&6, other children are required to be in a choir. Performance is 6pm on a Friday night which means dropping dd at 5.15 and collecting about 8.15 or going to watch. Dd has end of term-it is, is ryb down and doesn't want to do it. I have two younger children, youngest is 1 and DH isn't reliably back home til 8.30pm so it's really impractical for me to watch or to drive and drop her/collect her with the others. If she wanted to do it I'd probably try harder to make arrangements but she's adamant she doesn't want to. They've been told they have to come back for it unless there's a good reason - but aibu to say she can't come because of practicalities? They can't require it can they?

Teachers: Yes, the only child that matters is my child. Not you, or the fact you've had to stay up working late in your chosen profession. So if my child is too tired, there will be no evening performance for them. End of story.

Omg. Dame, if that is genuinely how you feel, then best keep it to yourself. I don't know a single, good, teacher who doesn't work their socks off for the benefit of the children. Many shit teachers don't.
Shitty attitudes like yours make good teachers give up. It just isn't worth it.

DameXanadu You typify much of what is wrong with our society today.

Self, self, self.

Yes, the only child that matters is my child. Not you, or the fact you've had to stay up working late in your chosen profession

Wow...

And, I'll go further and say that it's people like you who ruin such things for everyone else. Not just for the fact that there will be children whose performances are unbalanced if the person alongside them doesn't show up, but also because there's no doubt that enriching activities such as these are definitely fewer and further between than years ago. That is due in part to the entitled fussing that parents like you kick up, which makes a lot of teachers say "Fuck it, we won't do it again."

Well done.

self self self

Oh, the irony !!!

DameXanaduBramble

So what will you do when your DC don't get (any of) the parts in the play, are not picked for the sports teams or any or the extra curricular stuff because they have a proven track record of being unreliable?

You don't know if I've ever 'kicked off' or not, so don't assume I ever have. I'm thoroughly sick of these threads. Over reactions all over the place, just stop, think and empathise will you.

My children are both in secondary now. They are reliable, good citizens. Look at yourself, how dare you assume anything on the back of one post, you know nothing. Seriously, do get a fucking grip will you. It's not the end of the world if a child misses one night of a play. Listen to yourselves.

I started reading this thread and actually thought wow, I can't believe how many entitled people there are and how selfish we have all become over the years......but I have to say it's the very few, and believe me it's only a few, parents and people that do appriciate what we do in our 'chosen profession' that make it so worth while. DameXanadu we try to teach the children respect for others, what exactly is it that narrow minded people like you are teaching them? You are not born with respect or any entitlements, they I'm afraid to say are most definitely earned and with an attitude like yours......well I'm just speechless 😶

Seriously, do get a fucking grip will you. It's not the end of the world if a child misses one night of a play. Listen to yourselves.

Not the end of the world if they do it either.

Your post is selfish. 'The only child that matters is mine' whether you admit it or not

HTH.

treacle - I am a teacher and I wouldn't be so bloody arrogant as to plan an evening activity and expect all children to participate without bothering to ask parents beforehand. Luckily my DC's teachers don't pull this bullshit either.

arethere, id happily do it one night in return for someone else doing it on another but I doubt school would allow that. I've posted on the school FBpage asking if anyone wants to do a reciprocal thing but no takers. Too late for this year but I'll try and bring it up again for next year.

As a head teacher, I always write to parents to ask them to confirm that their child/children can attend an evening event. I've lost count of the number of times parents have turned up with a kid they hadn't 'registered' and then get angry because I've 'excluded' their child (or alternatively, kids who've 'registered' don't turn up!). We don't care one way or the other, we just need to know!!

Good plan Dora.

Tell the school she's not available, don't feel pressured to make an excuse, just say your daughter is not available for activities outside normal school hours except by prior agreement with you. It is too late and she doesn't want to do it. This country does a bizarre amount of forcing children to jump through unpleasant hoops for no apparent reason.

If schools want children to participate in activities outside school hours, then they need to consult with parents first.

Do you that, perhaps, the school sent out permission slips for children who had a specific role in the performance but didn't bother for the 'choir'? Which isn't choir as such but all the pupils who are not actually on stage. Amongst all those DC there are bound to be some who are really keen, and plenty for whom there aren't any barriers to attending, and others who will have older siblings in the show. A DH who works late and a one year old would seem to me good enough reason for her not to go.

Bet the child would be there on the dot if she was Mary!

I'm sure if the child had an actual part in the play then the school would have checked she could be there.

I do understand where you're coming from, and it isn't easy with a one year old. As a teacher though, I'll say that it's a nightmare when half the choir don't show up to these things, thinking that it doesn't really matter whether they're there because they don't have a part. So much work goes into a production from kids and staff alike and at least one performance has to be in the evening to accommodate working parents. I agree with all the pps who say that making her go will help to teach her about teamwork and responsibility to others. Next year when she has a part she'll be glad of the contribution of the choir.

I thought Dame was joking. Apparently not....

As a 2 hour show this doesn't sound like a nativity, maybe some type of review. However, to be cast as Mary, or whatever the leading role, she would have had to have volunteered for the role and attended all the rehearsals, OP's Dd has done neither of these things so not really relevant.

Ca55 - do you ask the parents if they/their children want to participate outside of school, or do you just assume?

You are being selfish if you don't take her back. It's not a good lesson for your daughter to learn that it's okay to quit things if she doesn't feel like it. Think about all the work the school, teachers, other staff & pupils have put in. Sometimes you just have to make your kids do stuff, even if it's slightly inconvenient for you.

Your child s 8, it's outside of school hours, of course your child dosent have to attend. To the teacher bleating about letting everyone down you need to realise that pupils and parents evenings do not revolve around you. My child also 8 has commitments already on a Friday evening, no way n earth would I make him give that up and let his team down for an out of hours school nativity to appease working parents.