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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is one type of prostitute 'better' than another?

170 replies

MelAncoly · 04/12/2016 19:29

Woman 1 - heroin addict, prostituing to feed her habit. Stands on street corners and will go with anyone that has the money.

Woman 2 - professional career, no drug habits or alcohol problems, doesn't even smoke. Simply wants extra money as she's saving to buy a house as she wants to get involved in property development. Her full time job doesn't pay enough to save for the kind of house she wants. She finds clients through an escourt agency.

Is there a difference between the two or are they both as bad as each other?

Also would you/have you ever considered it as a way of easy money?

OP posts:
FannyWisdom · 04/12/2016 19:31

Why is either of them bad?

BratFarrarsPony · 04/12/2016 19:31

do you mean a 'better' person in terms of personality or morals? or that one has a 'better' life?

ghostyslovesheets · 04/12/2016 19:32

neither are 'bad' the issue is with the people who chose to exploit them surely?

cardibach · 04/12/2016 19:32

I object to the terminology 'better'. Both are prostitutes - no difference. No, I wouldn't consider it. No I wouldn't necessarily judge someone who did. (Though in a sort of reverse judgementalism I might be even less inclined to judge woman 1 who seems to have fewer options).

DailyMailSucksAss · 04/12/2016 19:32

Neither are bad. In my opinion prostitution is just another job.

FannyWisdom · 04/12/2016 19:32

Not my idea of easy money either.

Manumission · 04/12/2016 19:32

Do you mean morally? Confused

BobbieDog · 04/12/2016 19:32

I dont see them as bad but i do think there are some prostitutes that are more professional ones than others

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 04/12/2016 19:33

Neither is bad but the women's punters are as bad as each other.

BratFarrarsPony · 04/12/2016 19:33

and yes why is your question put in such judgemental terms?

Maybe their punters are 'bad'? for without them there would be no job for either woman.

Original poster
MelAncoly · 04/12/2016 19:33

But is the second one being exploited? She has a choice and is choosing to do that. Woman one is desperate and therefore, is being exploited.

OP posts:
TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 04/12/2016 19:34

What do you mean by bad? If you mean morally, neither is bad.
But if you are posting because you are considering becoming the second type and want to convince yourself it is OK, I would urge you to do more research because I think there is a good chance it would turn out to be harder and more personally damaging than you think.

Arfarfanarf · 04/12/2016 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BobbieDog · 04/12/2016 19:34

I would of thought it wasnt easy money as i would imagine that the people who use the services of prostitutes expect alot for their money.

I would of thought they would expect far more than from someone they were in a relationship with

Original poster
MelAncoly · 04/12/2016 19:34

I don't think either are "bad" but do you think one would be judged more favourably than the other?

OP posts:
Manumission · 04/12/2016 19:36

Your whole question is strange.

What do you mean by 'bad'?

Do you think desperation or overt exploitation is a kind of alibi that mitigates against the 'sin' of sex work? I don't understand.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 04/12/2016 19:36

Well personally I don't think either is "bad", I think woman 1 is in a much more vulnerable position and in need of help, and I'd be wary of the sort of man who would pick her up as he must realize he's taking advantage of a very vulnerable person.

If you're considering trying prostitution to make some extra money, which it sounds like you are, I think you'd do better to talk to some actual prostitutes. And obviously if you do do it make sure you stay safe, and don't stand on street corners or take any heroin, but I think you know that.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 04/12/2016 19:36

Any man using money to obtain sex off a woman is exploiting them, yes. I would bet good money that the number of men who care about or even consider the prostitute's personal and financial circumstances before he sleeps with her is slim to none

FannyWisdom · 04/12/2016 19:36

Judged by who?

Sparlklesilverglitter · 04/12/2016 19:37

I don't know if either are bad but I think with women 1 the addiction could be clouding her judgement and the addiction has taken over and she will do anything for my drugs- does she really know what she's doing

Woman 2 provided she is in her right mind and is not being forced to do it by a partner or whatever Then if she wants to use her body to make extra money I'm not judging

Trifleorbust · 04/12/2016 19:37

Obviously people tend to judge based on factors like drug addiction and poverty. That doesn't make one woman 'bad' and the other 'better'. If you disagree on a moral level with sex work, you should view these two women as the same based on the fact that they are both selling sex. If you don't disagree with sex work, their motives for selling sex shouldn't make you more liable to judge one more harshly than the other.

Original poster
MelAncoly · 04/12/2016 19:37

I'd never have the guts to do it. I've just been watching a documentary about drug addicted prostitues and it got me thinking about the "less desperate" types that boast about having spent the night with a rich bloke and come away with £££ for their troubles. People tend to see that as being more favourable than the first example.

OP posts:
TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 04/12/2016 19:38

The uncomfortable truth about humans is that we tend to judge people in worse situations more harshly. So I think the first would suffer more from being looked down on. I think some people might even admire the second in a way if she was good at concealing how unpleasant the reality of what she was doing was.

Manumission · 04/12/2016 19:38

You think 'bad' = 'likely to be judged'?! Confused

That only makes sense if you're the one doing the judging TBH.

Hardshoulder · 04/12/2016 19:39

Explain 'better', OP. Hmm Why the phrase 'as bad as each other'? Why does good and bad come into this at all? For what it's worth, I would hope that woman two is safer, and is less liable to be assaulted or raped, less likely to end up being coerced into unsafe sexual practices, and more likely to extract herself from prostitution unharmed, but I imagine that's possibly a fallacy. I can't imagine anyone thinking it's an easy buck.

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