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Original poster

Is one type of prostitute 'better' than another?

170 replies

MelAncoly · 04/12/2016 19:29

Woman 1 - heroin addict, prostituing to feed her habit. Stands on street corners and will go with anyone that has the money.

Woman 2 - professional career, no drug habits or alcohol problems, doesn't even smoke. Simply wants extra money as she's saving to buy a house as she wants to get involved in property development. Her full time job doesn't pay enough to save for the kind of house she wants. She finds clients through an escourt agency.

Is there a difference between the two or are they both as bad as each other?

Also would you/have you ever considered it as a way of easy money?

OP posts:
RentANDBills · 04/12/2016 20:37

I'm struggling to see how a prostitute who is choosing their job is being exploited? Beyond the obvious cases where they are led to do it out of desperation (poverty, drugs, etc).

If a person is making an informed choice to have sex for money, and are not doing it because they have no other choice - how are they being exploited?

YelloDraw · 04/12/2016 20:39

I'm struggling to see how a prostitute who is choosing their job is being exploited

Because 99.9%* of women in prostitution are not making an 'informed' choice. Drugs, financial need, pressure from a boyfriend...

*not actual statistic

RentANDBills · 04/12/2016 20:40

Taking out of the scenario for the moment that the service being sold here is sex, how is woman 2 doing something different to another person running a business? For example a massuese? (Aside from the legalities in the UK)

maggiethemagpie · 04/12/2016 20:40

because according to another recent thread RentANDBills all men who use prostitutes are rapists. Apparently any sex that is not mutually enjoyable and done for the pleasure of it is rape.... seriously that's the attitude of a lot of posters on this forum.

YelloDraw · 04/12/2016 20:41

If you get a chance that BBC3 docu on hokbeck and prostitution is compelling watching.

RentANDBills · 04/12/2016 20:42

YelloDraw that's not what I'm asking. I'm asking for those who are not doing it through desperation. Of which I imagine there are plenty.

Another point - I know of quite a few women who have married men who are very wealthy and of whom they have no emotional feeling for - they married them for their money. Is this prostitution? And in this scenario, who is the one being exploited?

Suppermummy02 · 04/12/2016 20:42

How is number 2 any different from a woman marrying a man because of his money, or having a sugar daddy?

RubbishMantra · 04/12/2016 20:43

Neither woman is "bad". People have the right to do what they wish with their own bodies. If they want to have sex for pay, up to them.

I would say woman 2 in your example would be in a position to make a clearer decision as to whether the work was actually suited to them; security wise, access to online information re. safety measures. After all, seeing a stranger in one's own environment and having clearly thought out safety measures in place is very different to going off in a car, essentially a lockable metal box with a stranger.

Woman 1 may be desperate for the cash, and this could lead to exploitation, making riskier decisions re. safe sex etc., thus placing her in dangerous situations. Remember the Ipswich murders, just over a decade ago? Also Soliciting, "standing on street corners", as you put it, is a criminal offence, whereas what woman 2 would be doing is legal.

klassykringle · 04/12/2016 20:43

Maggie, that's reductive and aggressive and you know it.

The question raised there was about consent and what made consent "real" or not, and rape culture in general.

Given that many women don't have choices about being prostitutes, the majority (not all) posters on that tread agreed that any men who use them are tacitly approving of the whole system and risking being rapists themselves, even if they don't actively consider themselves that way.

klassykringle · 04/12/2016 20:43

*that thread

YelloDraw · 04/12/2016 20:43

Sammy Jo and her sister had no chance :-(

RentANDBills · 04/12/2016 20:45

maggiethemagpie I see.
Funny, I always thought of rape as non-consensual sex.
I'm sure that there are many prostutues who feel that it is their only choice and subsequently they are vulnerable and exploited.
But I think its an insulting assumption to say ALL prostitutes are being exploited?

Not a profession I know a lot of, admittedly

littlesallyracket · 04/12/2016 20:47

Neither of them are bad.

The former is more exploited than the latter, in my opinion, but that isn't her fault - it's the fault of men who are prepared to pay for sex with women they are fully aware are desperate and vulnerable.

klassykringle · 04/12/2016 20:48

For anyone interested, the recent thread is still in chat, titled "Does having sex with a prostitute constitute rape?"

It included links to sites like punter.com and ukpunting.com which give you very classy insights into the minds of those who use prostitutes.

It also included comments from women who'd worked in the industry.

ReallyTired · 04/12/2016 20:52

Neither of these hypothetical women are bad. Maybe they are both desperate and vulnerable. I expect that both women have issues of low self esteem.

I despise the clients rather than the prositutes.

maggiethemagpie · 04/12/2016 20:55

Not aggressive in the slightest, klassy just my observations. There were one or two posters who basically said that.

I'm entitled to my opinion, just because I do not agree with yours does not make it aggressive.

YelloDraw · 04/12/2016 21:00

RentANDBills I just really don't think there are many women who come out the other side of being a prostitue and say "yeah, it was awesome, I did it for me".

klassykringle · 04/12/2016 21:02

Maggie, it's not your opinion, it's your tone above came across aggressive and dismissive of a very long thread which had a lot of debate in it over hundreds of posts.

Look, I know people annoyed you with their reaction to your TTC comments, but do you seriously object to the general principle that sex should be mutually enjoyable?

(And is it "one or two" who think something, or "a lot of posters on the forum"?)

klassykringle · 04/12/2016 21:03
  • It's not your opinion which is aggressive, that should say. On phone, sorry!
BottleBeach · 04/12/2016 21:06

I think the number of women 'escorting to pay their way through uni' compared to the number of women who end up in sex work through drug addiction/domestic abuse/ trafficking/ child sexual exploitation is so small as to be irrelevant really. I'm not saying they don't exist, but I think the fantasy of the 'happy whore' is something that punters like to cling on to, so they can continue to feel ok about themselves as human beings whilst simultaneously exploiting and sexually abusing vulnerable adults.

RentANDBills · 04/12/2016 21:13

YelloDraw I feel there are a lot of jobs that fall under that tho, without being exploitation. I know someone who killed guinea pigs for a living Sad horrifying but he wasn't being exploited

Purplebluebird · 04/12/2016 21:14

I feel bad for those who are "forced" out in to it due to things such as drug habits or homelessness. I don't judge them, I just feel sad for them.

For escorts, I see them working just like most people, just in a somewhat less common profession! Don't have an issue with it whatsoever.

I guess the difference is that the first one is driven by a desperate need, whereas the second is driven by a desire to do that work because they want the money/thrill/fun etc, that they feel it can be. I used to know one of these high end escorts [£1200 for overnight stay for example, £250 for an hour - including just an hour's date at a restaurant with no sex involved). She loved what she was doing, it was alongside trying to make it as an actress.

I don't judge either, but I do feel there is a big difference in that Girl 1 would perhaps give a blowjob in a dirty car, whilst Girl 2 would visit a luxurious house, or even just going for dates. Personally I don't judge either. If some women want to sell their bodies that way, that's up to them. I think physiotherapists sell their body (hands!) and psychologists sell their brain... Why does sex need to be so different? It's not an emotional thing for everyone.

BonnieF · 04/12/2016 21:15

Woman 1 is vulnerable, victimised and exploited. She is not 'bad' Her client is an abuser. He is bad.

Woman 2 is a businesswoman. Her client is a customer. Neither are 'bad'.

MoodyOne · 04/12/2016 21:18

I think both are the same, but it's a job and a hard and unsafe one at the end of the day ... I wouldn't judge either but I would say woman 1 is probably being forced so I would worry about her more as she may be in more danger ... x

MrsJayy · 04/12/2016 21:22

Well both women are prostituting themselves as means to an ends 1 drugs other money there is no bad woman