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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to feel massively left out?

351 replies

Pritchyx · 04/12/2016 09:31

I work in the motor trade for a very busy dealership. There is 3 receptionists including myself. Anyway, yesterday one of my receptionist colleagues got married.
Every person in our dealership bar workshop technicians (she doesn't know them as they're separated from us) were invited. Except me.
I've got to work this morning and everybody is talking about how good it was etc. And people coming upto me asking why I wasn't there... I felt horrifically stupid for replying "I wasn't invited"... A few colleagues who have only been there a month, if that were also invited... I've worked with her for months and knew her prior to her working with me, but only in passing.

Aibu to feel really left out?

OP posts:
hollyisalovelyname · 18/12/2016 10:34

Nick247
You got it in one.
I would have had to ask her 'If we are such good friends why was I the only one left out of your wedding celebration?'
You wimped out OP Smile

YoHoHoandabottleofTequila · 18/12/2016 11:30

Such a good friend that she didn't invite you. What a twat.

Shakey15000 · 18/12/2016 11:45

Well after reading the update I'm still convinced there's been crossed wires and bride is diplomatically trying to find out why OP didn't come. If I was OP I would still ask and get an answer one way or the other.

Aeroflotgirl · 18/12/2016 11:48

OP if you were a really good friend why did she not invite you to her wedding! I would have told her, why dident you op! You had the opportunity.

CaraAspen · 18/12/2016 11:51

Yawn

CaraAspen · 18/12/2016 11:55

I am mildly irritated by the many seemingly desperate OPs who seem genuinely upset about something - to the extent that posters try to offer support and suggestions - only to discover waaaaaaaaay along the line that it has all been a sheer waste of everyone's time.
Ridiculous.

Aeroflotgirl · 18/12/2016 11:57

pitcy you need to talk to her in order to move on! Or this will build resentment.

Aeroflotgirl · 18/12/2016 12:06

You had the perfect opportunity last night, and you wusses out!

WhatsGoingOnEh · 18/12/2016 12:56

Could this explain why you weren't invited to the wedding? Broken glass, totally accepting of "carnage", etc? I obviously don't know and other people from your work DID get invited but maybe this is a good time to have a good, bold, no BS look at your own drinking? Ask your family.

Broken glass is just twattish and wrong. Not a funny "What are we like?! Lol" but crap.

CaraAspen · 18/12/2016 12:57

Yes - the description was a bit sad really.

CalmItKermitt · 18/12/2016 13:25

Omg it all becomes clear!
Are you all teenagers?? It sounds awful and you're oddly accepting of totally unacceptable behaviour!

Original poster
Pritchyx · 18/12/2016 14:31

whatsgoingon you'll find that I'm not a huge drinker and that I am aware of everything that I'm doing whilst I'm drinking. I didn't smash any glasses, majority that did was those that were in HER room and are also part of the sales team. I had large paper cups for mine as was up/down stairs and only had glass at the table during food!

At which point did I say any of that behaviour was mine solely? None of it was. I'm not childish enough to set extinguishers off as it costs a fortune to replace them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pritchyx · 18/12/2016 14:39

anyway, I asked for advice on what to do about the situation that happened THREE weeks ago. some have told me to live and let live, frankly. Others wanted confrontation.

Missed opportunity to say something last night, yes I do agree. However, having a conversation between two drunk people is never legitimately meaningful and can be full of shit. I said in one of the posts from earlier that I will be just leaving it be. It's been and gone. She hurt my feelings with the snub, I'm now choosing to cut the friendly BS and leave it civil within working hours only.

That okay with everyone, yes? Ok. Good.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pritchyx · 18/12/2016 14:44

cara just because I didn't confront her? How is that ridiculous... Some people told me to leave it be, and that is what I'm doing.
Is that ok with you? Are you my mother, and I have to confirm with you to see if you agree with my decision? Hmm

Don't come at me being rude, just because I've chosen not to say something.

OP posts:
80sMum · 18/12/2016 14:46

Good God Pritchyx! The behaviour at that party was disgraceful! If I had been the hotel manager, I would have kicked you all out!! What an appalling way to conduct a "party"!

WhatsGoingOnEh · 18/12/2016 14:47

And at what point did I say that any of that behaviour was yours, solely? You did call it a "really good night" despite "total carnage" with your "nightmare" colleagues needing security called twice, fire extinguishers set off, and broken glass everywhere as "were [sic] all not to be trusted with anything glass when drinking Grin". Your interaction with your non-invitey colleague happened when you were "obviously drunk" and ended with you leaving "to find the bar".

Does your non-invitey colleague drink much? I'm guessing no...

Aeroflotgirl · 18/12/2016 14:51

That's good Pitchy, she's full of crap and you know it, don't believe a word she says. Yes she was drunk when she said it. Treat her accordingly and get on with things.

Original poster
Pritchyx · 18/12/2016 15:01

whatsgoingon she usually drinks 2-3 bottles of wine a week according to what she said before i left work this week as she wanted to go to Asda to stock up before Christmas Day. I'm lucky if I get chance to drink a bottle in a month.
Yes the party was carnage, but was kept out of my room and I'm glad it was, I retired at 2am and went to bed even though I was awake for hours. But not hard to gather information when you have 60+ people from work, and likely to bump into them in corridors of the hotel or outside whilst smoking.
We wasn't the only company having room parties from what I gathered when I checked out either.

Also, the females in the company were relatively behaved, it was mainly the men causing disturbances.

OP posts:
OutToGetYou · 18/12/2016 16:23

Personally I reckon it's because you recently split up with someone. You said she supported you through that, lots of women don't like single, especially newly single, women at events.

SantaPleaseBringMeEwanMcGregor · 18/12/2016 18:07

If anybody else asks I would say "no I wasn't invited , it's ok, I'll go to the next one "

GrinXmas GrinGrinXmas GrinGrin

hollyisalovelyname · 18/12/2016 18:23

OutToGetYou
3 receptionists in a car dealership, everyone in the building invited except the OP.
Why would the OP becoming recently single have any influence on whether she gets invited or not.
What a shame the OP didn't take her chance last night.
I still say bride must be a terrible b*tch to do that to a co worker working in such close proximity to the OP.

misshelena · 19/12/2016 02:42

Good job OP. No need to engage further. But, do not ever forget that she is NOT your friend, no matter how friendly she acts. And never ever again lift a finger for her.

I can't figure her out. If this is how she treats her "GOOD friends", I wonder how she treats pp who are just "friends"! Either she was lying about you being a "good friend" or she is completely random in her treatment of others, regardless of how she feels about them. Either way, stay away from her!

hollyisalovelyname · 19/12/2016 15:38

With 'good' friends like her who needs enemies!!!

wtffgs · 19/12/2016 15:50

Brew This has just happened to me. Tons of colleagues invited but not me even though we used to work closely together and had got on really well I thought. Now I assume it's because I'm a lowly grade and she isn't actually very nice. It stings a bit but fuck 'me. Weddings are usually shit though anyway Wink

wtffgs · 19/12/2016 15:51

So that would be fuck 'em Hmm