child pointed toy gun at me

[morningtoncrescent62]

I know that telling off/not telling off other people's children has been done many times on AIBU. But genuinely not sure whether I was in the wrong here. On the bus this morning, woman got on with two children aged about 5, dressed up, obviously excited about going somewhere. One of the children was dressed as a cowboy, complete with toy gun. I'll admit I hate seeing children playing with guns, but I know not everyone feels the same. They sat behind and across the aisle from me and I was reading a book and trying not to be distracted - they were fairly noisy but not unreasonably so in the circumstances.

A few stops before I was getting off I looked up to find the child with the toy gun pointing it at me and pulling the trigger repeatedly. The woman hadn't seen as she was rootling about in her bag. So I said to the child, not sharply but firmly, 'Please don't point your gun at me, it isn't very nice'. The woman looked up and apologised. Then she took the child on her lap for a cuddle and started a loud conversation with the other one about how adults sometimes talk to children instead of the adult who is with them and this is bad and wrong. Which is OK if it's her position, but nothing at all about how sometimes when you point guns at people and pretend to shoot them they don't like it and they ask you not to. I was tempted to say to her that if her child was too young to be asked by strangers not to point his toy gun at them, then he was too young to be allowed to play with it in a public place - but I was about to get off the bus so I didn't.

So, MN jury, WIBU to speak directly to the child?

This thread isn't about what games we decide to curtail for our DCs. It's about OP interacting with a stranger's DC in a public place. Quite a different discussion altogether.

And, actually, yes. I do think many 5 year olds do have an understanding of killing and death

I think those children probably had all the joy of imagination and spontaneous play squeezed out of them.

You're getting very worked up Bertrand on the OPs behalf!

"This thread isn't about what games we decide to curtail for our DCs. It's about OP interacting with a stranger's DC in a public place. Quite a different discussion altogether."

People were so very insistent that this was a game and the OP had no right not to want to be involved in it because it was just a game. I was wondering whether there was any games that weren't acceptable.

"You're getting very worked up Bertrand on the OPs behalf!"

Not worked up at all. There is a big difference between "not agreeing with you" and "getting worked up"! The two are, I agree, often confused on Mumsnet!

And I love the idea that any 5 year old who as an awareness of killing and death having had "the joy of spontaneous play squeezed out of them"

What a very, very odd point of view!

You find a lot of things odd I'm sure.

Funny isn't it, how people .....?

Interesting isn't it, how some people.....?

Certainly do. Particularly the idea that 5 year olds are not capable of spontaneous joy and imaginative play and remarkably deep thought and understanding of the world around them. Anyone who thinks that has never talked to a 5 year old for long.

The child playing on the bus didn't do anything to the OP. He was playing with a toy provided by his parent. The OP did something to the child, she told him off. She also imposed her uninvited opinion on his mother, so she did something to his mother as well.

Trope, you forgot "I wonder if...".

He was playing with the toy by pointing it at the OP and repeatedly pulling the trigger. He was obviously "doing something to the OP^ because lots of posters have said that they would have responded by pretending to die......Why would they have done that if they hadn't felt they were involved in the game?

I think you need to get a flipping grip! If I was the mother I'd have told you so too!

The trouble is there are these horrendously inappropriate parents enabling all sorts of bad behaviour and setting terrible examples everywhere. Someone should be tutting at them or at the very least giving them a hard stare - - god knows what sort of children they are bringing up!

My 4 yr old is the most spontaneous, joyful, imaginative child you could ask for. She does understand death though, more than many older children. Perhaps that's why she's never tried playing at killing. There are loads of other happier things to imagine.

Well, it's a good job you were about to get off and kept your trap shut isn't it

I used to love running about with my gun being " Kelly" from Charlie's Angels....took down a fair number of baddies

I don't think craning round to look at others on the bus is typical behaviour actually.
And Bertrand people involved with real guns end up with their toddlers shooting them or themselves with alarming regularity so maybe not the best example to follow. Maybe if those kids had Nerf/cowboy guns they were allowed to play with they would be less likely to want to fiddle with real guns they find that they shouldn't. I know what I'd rather my toddler was shooting. Also there is no link between actual real gun violence and weapon play as a child. Like a pp said it is play. Because you let your child ride on the bumper cars they won't necessarily grow up to be bad drivers.

Think you are overreacting just a tad

I blame Trump.