child pointed toy gun at me

[morningtoncrescent62]

I know that telling off/not telling off other people's children has been done many times on AIBU. But genuinely not sure whether I was in the wrong here. On the bus this morning, woman got on with two children aged about 5, dressed up, obviously excited about going somewhere. One of the children was dressed as a cowboy, complete with toy gun. I'll admit I hate seeing children playing with guns, but I know not everyone feels the same. They sat behind and across the aisle from me and I was reading a book and trying not to be distracted - they were fairly noisy but not unreasonably so in the circumstances.

A few stops before I was getting off I looked up to find the child with the toy gun pointing it at me and pulling the trigger repeatedly. The woman hadn't seen as she was rootling about in her bag. So I said to the child, not sharply but firmly, 'Please don't point your gun at me, it isn't very nice'. The woman looked up and apologised. Then she took the child on her lap for a cuddle and started a loud conversation with the other one about how adults sometimes talk to children instead of the adult who is with them and this is bad and wrong. Which is OK if it's her position, but nothing at all about how sometimes when you point guns at people and pretend to shoot them they don't like it and they ask you not to. I was tempted to say to her that if her child was too young to be asked by strangers not to point his toy gun at them, then he was too young to be allowed to play with it in a public place - but I was about to get off the bus so I didn't.

So, MN jury, WIBU to speak directly to the child?

I would judge a parent who let their child dress up as a cowboy.

Unless it was obviously Woody- so contextualized- who has no gun.

I'm a Brit in the States and have grown to fucking detest guns.

I would have been really really uncomfortable with the kid doing this but still wouldn't have said anything to be honest.

Ok, so granted that people disapprove of toy guns and cowboy outfits and with good reason, he was only a wee nipper without a clue about the historical and social reasons why he was doing the wrong thing.

"Ok, so granted that people disapprove of toy guns and cowboy outfits and with good reason, he was only a wee nipper without a clue about the historical and social reasons why he was doing the wrong thing."

Of course. That's why I would judge the parent and ask the child politely to stop.

I dont think a toy gun is an issue when in context such a cowboy- hes hardly going to fall in with a gang which dress as cowboys. I dont like the realistic ones but I doubt this was

I thought you was going to say he was 15! As much as you don't like kids playing with guns they will invariably pretend a twig or wooden spoon is a gun, it's just something they do.

I would have pretended to die. Convulsed around a bit then flopped down in the seat to make the little chap smile.

I think you've taught him more about how not to behave by way of your rudeness than anything.

The more I read this thread the more bizarre I am finding the idea of playing a pretend game where one person pretends to shoot another person who then pretends to die a dramatic and presumably painful death! I had never really thought about that aspect of it before -but you have to admit, it is odd.

It's a very odd scenario.

Haven't read the whole thread, but out of interest OP, do you have young children yourself? I only ask because my opinion on this these things pre-children differs quite a lot to my opinion post-children.

My two DDs are in their 20s so it's been a while! Also the Dunblane school shooting happened when they were in infant school, after which toy guns disappeared overnight (not that mine had ever had them). For the benefit of those who haven't RTFT, I've held my hands up to BU over the wording I used - I should have said I didn't like it, not that he wasn't being nice.

I agree with the OP. I have children.

I have children (3 and 1) and whilst I won't say anything to any parent with a child using them, I won't allow weapon toys.

My DC are in their 20s too - and my eldest was the same age as the children murdered in Dunblane. I still remember exactly where I was when I heard the news - in a taxi between work appointments about 2.5hr away from home. If you choose to let your children play with guns it's irresponsible to not teach them some basic manners around how to play with them.

Pretending to kill people is not something I find remotely amusing and would never consider it appropriate play.

I live in an area with high gun crime. You don't see many toy guns posted at you round here, doubt people would find it ok. I do have children, youngest is 8, not much past the bang bang I kill you age. He wasn't allowed to play murdering strangers on the bus.

In the UK paxilian?

" I would have pretended to die. Convulsed around a bit then flopped down in the seat to make the little chap smile. "

I am sorry you can call me a humourless old boot but I do not see any opportunity for play and 'making the little chap smile' in fatal gun crime.

I'm not a typical MNetter but I can't believe that a child playing at 'shooting' in a bus is acceptable.

What's a typical mumsnetter like Derxa?

I too remember dunblane as my youngest child was 5 too.

They never had or never were encouraged to play with guns. Although they did have toy swords so probably as bad however I think allowing kids to take toy guns on guard and 'shoot' is lazy parenting to say the least.

"" I would have pretended to die. Convulsed around a bit then flopped down in the seat to make the little chap smile. "

Yes- that brought me up short too..........

The more I read this thread the more bizarre I am finding the idea of playing a pretend game where one person pretends to shoot another person who then pretends to die a dramatic and presumably painful death

It totally is, Bertrand. In retrospect, in my case, it was because there were lots of cowboy and indian films on the telly when I was a child back in the early 60s.

I wonder what children are watching now that has brought this game back.

What's a typical mumsnetter like Derxa? Oooooh I think I'm too old and wizened to answer that.

I think what you did was totally fine.
Jeez when did kids become these little princes you couldn't say anything other than approval to.

If you don't like having a gun pointed at your face you're quite right to say not to.

Atenco, 'gun crime' has always featured in kids programmes. Nowadays there's Ben 10, toy story (buzz has a gun), star wars, power rangers, lego movie etc. Etc. Actually my kids don't watch kids TV anymore and they still enjoy their nerf stuff (although to be honest it's mostly when they have friends around who don't have it at home).

Atenco, 'gun crime' hmm has always featured in kids programmes

There you go. I haven't had a tv in yonks, but I remember when was dd little I wanted to see the film Mata Hari, but didn't have a babysitter, and I couldn't take her because of the sex but I could have taken her to see Rambo or the Transformers. Society seems to be much more concerned about children seeing sex than violence.

I still have fond memories of playing bang, bang, you are dead when I was a child, but one does wonder about the values we are teaching children.

If you don't give children toy guns they soon make one- lego, sticks anything can be a gun. I wouldn't tell my children off for playing !