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AIBU?

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Original poster

child pointed toy gun at me

493 replies

morningtoncrescent62 · 03/12/2016 14:14

I know that telling off/not telling off other people's children has been done many times on AIBU. But genuinely not sure whether I was in the wrong here. On the bus this morning, woman got on with two children aged about 5, dressed up, obviously excited about going somewhere. One of the children was dressed as a cowboy, complete with toy gun. I'll admit I hate seeing children playing with guns, but I know not everyone feels the same. They sat behind and across the aisle from me and I was reading a book and trying not to be distracted - they were fairly noisy but not unreasonably so in the circumstances.

A few stops before I was getting off I looked up to find the child with the toy gun pointing it at me and pulling the trigger repeatedly. The woman hadn't seen as she was rootling about in her bag. So I said to the child, not sharply but firmly, 'Please don't point your gun at me, it isn't very nice'. The woman looked up and apologised. Then she took the child on her lap for a cuddle and started a loud conversation with the other one about how adults sometimes talk to children instead of the adult who is with them and this is bad and wrong. Which is OK if it's her position, but nothing at all about how sometimes when you point guns at people and pretend to shoot them they don't like it and they ask you not to. I was tempted to say to her that if her child was too young to be asked by strangers not to point his toy gun at them, then he was too young to be allowed to play with it in a public place - but I was about to get off the bus so I didn't.

So, MN jury, WIBU to speak directly to the child?

OP posts:
BathshebaSnowflakeStone · 06/12/2016 05:33

Has anyone directed you to the grip shop yet? I'd die like an RSC veteran too. Spin it out for a couple of minutes.

BertrandRussell · 06/12/2016 07:31

Has anyone directed you to the quite interesting discussion shop yet?

Oblomov16 · 06/12/2016 07:40

No more nerf guns, lazer-quest or paint balling parties then?
No more shooting at fayre? 5 pellets to shoot the tin man thing is my favourite Fair game.
Clearly not the MN thang though!

BratFarrarsPony · 06/12/2016 08:26

" Has anyone directed you to the grip shop yet? "

oh the grip shop oh Babs your'e soooooooooo funny and original! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHHAHAHHAHAHA
HAHAHHAHAH
(wipes eyes)

BertrandRussell · 06/12/2016 08:30

"No more nerf guns, lazer-quest or paint balling parties then?
No more shooting at fayre? 5 pellets to shoot the tin man thing is my favourite Fair game.
Clearly not the MN thang though!"

Have you actually read the thread?

BathshebaSnowflakeStone · 06/12/2016 09:27

Brat well someone had to say it! Xmas Grin

BertrandRussell · 06/12/2016 09:28

"Brat well someone had to say it! fgrin"

Why?

BathshebaSnowflakeStone · 06/12/2016 09:55

Because someone always does on these threads.

Depriving DC of toy guns doesn't work. I remember playing Blake's 7 with sticks for blasters at school.

DD (most out of character) even chose a Nerf Rebelle crossbow recently as a present. It doesn't make them want to kill people with the real thing when they're adults. Xmas Hmm

Footinmouthasusual · 06/12/2016 10:01

Of course kids make guns out of Lego and play with each other.

However to let your child point a toy gun at a total stranger on a bus and repeatedly shoot is lazy stupid parenting and allowing your child to be a bloody nuicence.

BathshebaSnowflakeStone · 06/12/2016 10:05

The OP said she didn't even notice until she looked up, so he was hardly being a bloody nuisance. Xmas Hmm

Footinmouthasusual · 06/12/2016 10:10

Well each yo own but I wouldn't let my kids do that on a bus to an adult.

BertrandRussell · 06/12/2016 10:35

"The OP said she didn't even notice until she looked up, so he was hardly being a bloody nuisance"

So it doesn't matter what you do behind somebody's back?

BathshebaSnowflakeStone · 06/12/2016 10:42

It's only a toy gun! A child was playing, God forbid. Are we in the 1800's? Xmas Hmm

BertrandRussell · 06/12/2016 10:44

"Are we in the 1800's?"

Fortunately not. That's why we have more enlightened views about guns and, for that matter, cowboys.

paxillin · 06/12/2016 10:48

The phrase "get a grip" means "regain your self-control", not "buy a handle". Grip shop Hmm.

BathshebaSnowflakeStone · 06/12/2016 11:02

Bertrand the child was playing. I thought maybe you objected to that. Also, I'm not remotely offended by people doing things I'm not aware of.

paxillin I was merely pointing out that someone would usually have used the phrase: I think you need to get to a grip shop by now. I know what get a grip means. Xmas Hmm

Floggingmolly · 06/12/2016 11:05

So it doesn't matter what you do behind someone's back?. What sort of a question is that? Hmm
The boy was playing with a toy the op didn't approve of, but given that 1) It is actually none of her business what other kids are allowed to play with, and
2). She couldn't even see him unless she twisted her head 180°, so shouldn't have done so if what she saw was bothering her, yes; the child was perfectly justified in playing his game behind op's back.
Not everything other people choose to do is your business.

Floggingmolly · 06/12/2016 11:19

Buy a handle Grin

BertrandRussell · 06/12/2016 11:22

"Bertrand the child was playing. I thought maybe you objected to that."

Why on earth would you think that? Hmm

BertrandRussell · 06/12/2016 11:25

"Not everything other people choose to do is your business."

Of course not. But the child was pointing the gun at the OP and pulling the trigger repeatedly. Which she saw when she looked up from her book. So it rather is her business..........

DioneTheDiabolist · 06/12/2016 12:12

No, she didn't see the child when she looked up from her book. No, the child wasn't pointing a gun in her face. The child wasn't endangering himself or anyone else. But, apparently it's now ok to tell off a child who is with his mother because you do not like the game he is playing.

This is a very interesting conversation. I'm on tenterhooks waiting to see what else we should tell children off for just because we wouldn't do it/don't like it. Is it only children we should do this to or should we tell off adults on the bus too?

BertrandRussell · 06/12/2016 12:18

"But, apparently it's now ok to tell off a child who is with his mother because you do not like the game he is playing."

She didn't tell him off- she told him to stop. Because she was being involved in the game and didn't want to be. Of course it's OK to do that.

Footinmouthasusual · 06/12/2016 12:20

I wouldn't have told him off that's OTT but I wouldn't have let mine do that or behave that way on a bus pointing at an adult.

Children playing between themselves that's fine.

Mine would sword fight but its not appropriate on a bus.

Mind you seem to be in s minirity as clearly everything children do is fine and adults should allow the snowflakes to express themselves however inappropriate the environment.

Basicbrown · 06/12/2016 12:26

since when is asking someone not to do something politely 'telling them off'?

WeDoNotSow · 06/12/2016 13:03

She told him what he was doing 'wasn't nice'
That is telling him off.
She didn't ask him politely not to do something, telling someone what they're doing 'isn't nice' is not the.same as 'politely' asking them not to do it

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