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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

child pointed toy gun at me

493 replies

morningtoncrescent62 · 03/12/2016 14:14

I know that telling off/not telling off other people's children has been done many times on AIBU. But genuinely not sure whether I was in the wrong here. On the bus this morning, woman got on with two children aged about 5, dressed up, obviously excited about going somewhere. One of the children was dressed as a cowboy, complete with toy gun. I'll admit I hate seeing children playing with guns, but I know not everyone feels the same. They sat behind and across the aisle from me and I was reading a book and trying not to be distracted - they were fairly noisy but not unreasonably so in the circumstances.

A few stops before I was getting off I looked up to find the child with the toy gun pointing it at me and pulling the trigger repeatedly. The woman hadn't seen as she was rootling about in her bag. So I said to the child, not sharply but firmly, 'Please don't point your gun at me, it isn't very nice'. The woman looked up and apologised. Then she took the child on her lap for a cuddle and started a loud conversation with the other one about how adults sometimes talk to children instead of the adult who is with them and this is bad and wrong. Which is OK if it's her position, but nothing at all about how sometimes when you point guns at people and pretend to shoot them they don't like it and they ask you not to. I was tempted to say to her that if her child was too young to be asked by strangers not to point his toy gun at them, then he was too young to be allowed to play with it in a public place - but I was about to get off the bus so I didn't.

So, MN jury, WIBU to speak directly to the child?

OP posts:
TheWrathFromHighAtopTheThing · 03/12/2016 14:15

I would have just ignored the kid and/or played comedy dead. But then I'm pretty used to being shot by DS all the time...

ssd · 03/12/2016 14:16

2 words

chill out

Costacoffeeplease · 03/12/2016 14:17

What's the problem with the toy gun? I can't say I'm keen on guns as toys but he was hardly going to hurt you

DearMrDilkington · 03/12/2016 14:17

Yabu.

I hate toy guns but I wouldn't tell a child off for playing with a toy in the way it was designed to be played with.Confused

BratFarrarsPony · 03/12/2016 14:17

NO I think you did right.
The sooner children learn that it is not OK to point toy guns at people the better.

TeaBelle · 03/12/2016 14:17

I call reverse. Surely no one would actually call out a child for shock horror....playing

Littlepeople12345 · 03/12/2016 14:18

It was a toy gun. Get a fucking grip!

NotSayingImBatman · 03/12/2016 14:18

You behaved like an arse.

It wasn't until you looked up that you even became aware that the toy was pointed at you. It wasn't a nerf gun that shoots foam darts so you weren't hurt. You just made a comment to put the dampener on that child's fame and, presumably, to put his mum in her place.

Soubriquet · 03/12/2016 14:18

I hate children playing with toy weapons

Detest it

But even i wouldn't haven't said anything.

Not my children, not my business

DearMrDilkington · 03/12/2016 14:18

tea I agree, this is ridiculous.Confused

NotSayingImBatman · 03/12/2016 14:19

Fun. Not fame. Blasted iPhone.

FourToTheFloor · 03/12/2016 14:19

Yabu. You really told a child off for not hurting you? ?

Enidblyton1 · 03/12/2016 14:19

I think it's fine to talk to the child - in this instance you would have been making it into a bigger deal than it needed to be if you'd had a word with the mother.
Though if a small child pointed a toy gun at me, I'd probably enter into the fun and pretend they've shot me.

ThatUsernameIsTaken · 03/12/2016 14:19

Would you have the same response if the child was dressed as a nurse and was pretending to inject you with a syringe? Adults sometimes forget they were once children and having fun and playing was normal

Katy07 · 03/12/2016 14:19

You should have fallen to the floor, clutching your heart and really terrified the life out of child and mother Grin
I don't have a problem with little kids doing it though (loved my caps gun as a kid!) - to them it's not a gun as such, just a fun toy.

RhiWrites · 03/12/2016 14:20

OP, why would you tell off a stranger's child rather than speak to the adult with them?

statetrooperstacey · 03/12/2016 14:20

As pp, I would have groaned theatrically and played dead, or got out my finger guns, or ignored depending on my mood. Don't think a would have said anything especially if if I was getting off shortly. Think maybe you over reacted a bit.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 03/12/2016 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DollyPlastic · 03/12/2016 14:22

Why on earth didn't you just shoot him back?

Ohdearducks · 03/12/2016 14:22

You could have played along with the little one, he was just playing for goodness sake you probably made him feel awful and he'd done nothing wrong.

littlesallyracket · 03/12/2016 14:23

I'm struggling to get to grips with this because I personally can't imagine why an adult would get upset about an excited child in fancy dress playing with a toy gun. What does it matter where he's pointing it? You said he wasn't being unreasonably noisy. You didn't even see what he was doing until you looked up. I think the woman probably overreacted a bit to your complaint but to me it seems a weird complaint to make to a small child anyway.

DoinItFine · 03/12/2016 14:23

I think it was fine to ask the person sitting next to you not to point tgeir replica gun at your face.

The mother is teaching her child to be boty sn aggressive and a passive aggressive pain in the arse.

Part of being out in the world us learning to deal with other people when you have displeased them.

If you don't wantbpeople to ever speak to your child, don't bring them on the bus.

MyBeloved · 03/12/2016 14:25

I would've played along I'm afraid! But I grew up with two brothers.

I think you over reacted - sorry.

BratFarrarsPony · 03/12/2016 14:26

Also it depends where you have lived.
I had two 12 year old kids following me down the road (in a quiet village in Wales) with a replica pistol, pretending to shoot me, clicking the chamber etc.
They thought it was hilarious, and I daresay their mother would have thought I over-reacted but when you have lived in south London for years, it is not fucking funny.
And I told them so...:)

DoinItFine · 03/12/2016 14:26

There are plenty of people on buses in the UK for whom having a gun pointed at them is a distressing experience. Even a toy gun.

It is fine to askna child not to point a gun at someone they are not playing with.

It's a useful thing for him to learn.

But instead his mother taught him how to be passive aggressive and spoilt.