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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to not want the nanny having her phone with her?

314 replies

ClipsAre · 02/12/2016 23:58

I don't mean not physically on her, but her not using it when she is meant to be looking after my child. I often notice her on her phone and DC nudging her and her saying one minute, etc. I work from home, so I tend to see what's going on and if I'm going past I do occasionally mention it but she claims that my DC is happy doing x, y and z so she thought she'd quickly reply to an email/text, etc.

AIBU to think this isn't okay?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 04/12/2016 17:49

'I would suspect that your nanny does not get a break. '

RTFT. She gets plenty of breaks.

therealpippi · 04/12/2016 17:49

Op I cannot believe the vitriol. (Must be the working from home andnanny combo!)

You areabsolutely right, phone only for urgent calls or emergencies or during break time. In no job we were allowed to be on the phone whenever we wished, quite the opposite infact.

Having said that I witness some trainee on the phone in vet theatres, in from of clients etc. HmmI feel it must be a generational thing. It is def rude but in your case very unprofessional.

Get rid or strickt and clear rules.

LoobysMummy14 · 04/12/2016 18:14

Okay so how does the OP know the nanny isn't using the phone to look something up for the child? Or look up what to do in the area etc you don't know unless you ASK. Ask her not to use the phone for personal reasons. Or give her a tablet to use so you can check what she is going on. Nurserys use an iPads/computers/tablets to take pictures and look things up. They also need to do paperwork etc. BUT are always on hand if the children need them. How do you expect children to become independent and learn to know that what they want won't always imediately be met and they will have to wait a few minutes.

Go and talk to your nanny and maybe put some things in place.

Mysteries · 04/12/2016 18:20

yanbu. It is dangerous to use phone while looking after a child. And no, she doesn't need to check her phone while looking after your child. But, oh dear, I remember horrendous problems with au pairs (not all, but most) - not holding child's hand to cross road etc. But yours is a nanny and nannies are much better paid than au pairs, so you can give her notice to leave and get a decent one. You need an au pair who is really interested in working with your child, not one who prefers her phone.

SherbrookeFosterer · 04/12/2016 18:37

A Nanny/au-pair is often a young girl, away from the family home for the first time, lonely, and will often need as much looking after as your child!

Try to get her to socialise with Au-pairs of you friends and ensure she knows plenty of people locally her own age.

Yorkshirebetty · 04/12/2016 18:38

Teachers are not allowed to use their phones in the classroom. Ever. Hers should be on silent, in her bag until her break.

LoobysMummy14 · 04/12/2016 18:53

ShockHmmConfused

Okay so I got to the part where she has breaks every 45 minutes.. What the actual Angry why?

Op I will come and be your nanny, (i am fully trained, first aid etc) WinkGrin
I actually feel sorry for you!! Get another nanny ASAP!! I work 8.45-3.10 and get a half an hour break, so she is definitely taking you for a ride!!

Shona52 · 04/12/2016 19:32

Most people are not allowed to use the phone during work. I agree her focus should be in your child that is what your paying her for. I would set the rule no phone while on duty - break times and out of hours only unless an emergency (and set out what an emergency is)

Sheffmum1 · 04/12/2016 19:42

Why have you got a nanny if you work from home? Would they better at a nursery? I think you have to leave her to do her job. Good luck k

expatinscotland · 04/12/2016 20:01

'Why have you got a nanny if you work from home? '

Because the OP is, um, working. The nanny's not doing her job is the problem, she's pisstaking on the phone.

DaniRodwell · 04/12/2016 20:02

Those hours + pay I'd only want a 20 min break a day where I could check my own phone etc. The rest of the time I'd only have a work phone on for things related to work. I'd have my meals with the child if I did meals, and integrate age friendly lessons. I'm not even in daycare, although I'm considering it I have no other qualifications in childcare than gcse's and my own kids, but that's the least I'd expect from myself or anyone I hired to care for my kids. That way you know they're using the phone for work and they're not tempted to use it for anything other. Being told to wait a minute while you look up an activity or confirm related arrangements is a perfect reasonable expectation of your charge, but doing so while you check your personal facebook or the like is not. The main issue (assuming that what seems like all the time is actually a reasonable amount mistaken as OTT. Trying to see it from both sides) is knowing which it really is being used for, and the only fair way of doing that is provide a phone with the right capabilities and ask that personal phone is only used in their personal brake, whilst work phone is available throughout work hours. And I agree with the others, that's a lot of breaks. I never got breaks like that when I babysat as a teen, when I did have a job with a break which was rare it would be a maximum of 2 10 to 20 minutes

expatinscotland · 04/12/2016 20:02

'A Nanny/au-pair is often a young girl, away from the family home for the first time, lonely, and will often need as much looking after as your child!

Try to get her to socialise with Au-pairs of you friends and ensure she knows plenty of people locally her own age.'

RTFT! This isn't an au pair. Her social life is not for the OP to organise.

sammyjayneex · 04/12/2016 20:05

Sheffmum1

I agree why do you need a nanny when you work from home. Some people must just have money to burn... people who work for a company can hardly afford to pay nursery fees these days!

bangalanguk · 04/12/2016 20:05

This is a big no no in terms of safeguarding. Nursery staff are not allowed to have their phones anywhere near them when looking after children (remember Vanessa George?) Are you always there with her? If she is working for you she should not be looking at her phone, it should be switched off and in her bag.

harshbuttrue1980 · 04/12/2016 20:06

The OP hasn't answered any of the posters who ask if she looks at her own phone when SHE is being paid to work. Funny that. I would imagine that, working from home, she does use her phone from time to time. If so, then that's time theft in the same way that her nanny is committing time theft from the OP.

You shouldn't expect an employee to follow a rule that you can't stick to yourself.

WheresTheEvidence · 04/12/2016 20:14

"This is a big no no in terms of safeguarding"

It is in a nursery/school but a childminder/nanny may have their phone on them so they can contact parents/ be contactable - no office staff to call/deal with calls and because we may use our phone for the job; calling to make doctor appointment, answering messages from our employer, taking a photo of our charge when out. Nannying is aready a tricky situation as you are on your own with the children for 13 hours a day so anything could happen in terms of safeguarding.

bummymummy77 · 04/12/2016 20:17

I was a nanny for almost 20 years. It's not acceptable to be using your phone when the kids are around. When they're fully otherwise occupied and all the jobs you need to get done are done or for five minutes at nap time sure but that's it.

expatinscotland · 04/12/2016 20:21

'I agree why do you need a nanny when you work from home. Some people must just have money to burn... people who work for a company can hardly afford to pay nursery fees these days!'

If you have RTFT, you'll find out when she's home working she's not on the clock. She's in the police force and works in office part-time. The work she is doing at home is in addition to her office job. But you know, I'm sure she's rolling in it. Hmm

Doesn't matter how she behaves at work wrt this thread - that's for her supervisors to be concerned with. This 'nanny' isn't being paid to diddle on her phone, her role is look after the child and she doesn't appear to be doing that so well.

expatinscotland · 04/12/2016 20:23

'You shouldn't expect an employee to follow a rule that you can't stick to yourself.'

Haahahaa! The gal is being paid to look after the child, nowt to do with the OP's job - the OP's behaviour at work is her supervisor's problem.

Original poster
ClipsAre · 04/12/2016 20:28

expatinscotland - is 100% spot on. Some of the questions have already been answered! I love how everyone is judging me Hmm

OP posts:
Kiwiinkits · 04/12/2016 20:33

I think it is equally unacceptable for parents and nannies to model glued-to-a-phone behaviour to children. Children need to be taught how to have normal give-and-take interpersonal interaction.

Blondeshavemorefun · 04/12/2016 20:36

im on the fence for this, tho more so if nanny worked 11/12hr days and no actual break, but if having a break every 45mins then yes ban the phone in working hours

i dont think it hurts to make your child wait for a min or two, and not have every whim jumped to IF nanny didnt have a break

often companies ban mobile phones but they do give out their work landline so people can get hold of them if need be , so sure people at work/offices so have some personal calls made/they ring

evidence 13hr days, wow,im impressed,well done !!

clips the 'nanny' asked for a break every hour Hmm

she works 9-3, you pay her £12ph, is this gross/nett/cih? and has 15mins every hour for a break, so actually works 4.5hrs a day

she doesnt sound like a normal nanny to me (ive been a qualified nanny for 25yrs) and yes i use my phone during working hours

far better to employ her for 4.5hrs and pay her for that, no phone breaks if thats what you want, and she can go out and meet other similar aged children and mums/nannies at m&t, swimming,soft play,parks etc

sammyjayneex · 04/12/2016 20:44

To be honest this is a trivial thing... if she is talking care of your child well what's the problem? So OP does she have children herself?
Maybe she wants to check up on them? This all depends on how long she's actually on her phone. Let's say she's done all the house chores and your kids are playing what do you expect her to do? Would you not be happy she takes that time to check her phone if everything else is done?

Daydream007 · 04/12/2016 20:45

I think it's perfectly acceptable these days to check your phone whilst at work now and again. It's not acceptable if she is constantly on it whilst neglecting or putting your child in danger

sammyjayneex · 04/12/2016 20:56

Yes daydream i agree

It wouldn't be acceptable to sit on her phone all day but checking updates here and there is fine

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