AIBU to not want the nanny having her phone with her?

[ClipsAre]

I don't mean not physically on her, but her not using it when she is meant to be looking after my child. I often notice her on her phone and DC nudging her and her saying one minute, etc. I work from home, so I tend to see what's going on and if I'm going past I do occasionally mention it but she claims that my DC is happy doing x, y and z so she thought she'd quickly reply to an email/text, etc.

AIBU to think this isn't okay?

Totally reasonable - no nursery would allow it - fine to have on hand for emergencies but it's hugely unprofessional to be casually on a phone when being paid to care for someone else's child.

A bit off topic but I wish my company would ban mobiles during work hours - ok I get people have them handy for emergency calls/texts about kids but seriously, the woman who sits next to me can't leave hers alone. She is on it every half hour minimum checking, replying to texts (probably scanning FB as well), and she even takes it to the toilet. SHe is in her 40's, not some teenager who has it surgically attached. I am considering taking it and putting it in my locker for the rest of the day (after putting the volume down so she can't ring it )

I used to be a Nanny and I would say YANBU it is unacceptable for her to be replying to texts and ignoring child. Whilst I was allowed to check my phone occasionally- I knew I couldn't take it too far and wouldn't of done. I was being paid to do a job and a very important job at that. I would speak to her about it.

Do you look at/use your your phone when looking after your child? If yes, then YABU.

Do you look at/use your your phone when looking after your child? If yes, then YABU.

Why? Being an employee and being a parent are two different things. She is not being paid to use her phone privately whilst working. If she's using it for work then that's different. She is being paid to focus on the child.

The child's parent has to do many other tasks as well as tend to the child during the day. So she can certainly use her phone if she needs to (I'm sure she's not on it for hours)

A nanny doesn't get a break so how can she check phone in one

Liblonde

Why is it relevant where OP gets the income to fund a nanny? Are we going to get jibes for her having a working partner next?

I was a nanny, I'm now a mum and my view is that if you are using it for something specifically work related e.g. arranging to play with another family then small amounts of use during work time are ok. If you are checking facebook or reading memes or playing games or anything non-work related then it should wait until your break.

I always arranged a break during my day and made sure when I interviewed that the family understood that. For young children, it was when they took a nap, for older children we would have "Quiet Time" where they could sit and read or play quietly in their rooms for around half an hour. If children were sick and not really up for quiet time then they got to watch TV or I would do without a break. The first month was always very tiring while we all got used to the new routine and children needed reminders that it is quiet time.

Some families were very put out that they were paying me to do nothing and that I should work during the children's nap. I asked if their employers expected them to do 12+ hour days and never any breaks from work for lunch or a cup of tea. I didn't take jobs where the parents didn't understand the need for a break when looking after young children for twelve hours. I would find it strange if a parent said I couldn't use my phone during breaks when the children were asleep or resting.

15 minute break every hour?! That is so not the norm for a nanny. I work 10:45-11:45 hours a day depending on my employers work load, some weeks I can finish at 6:30 every day, others it's 7:30 every day. Some days I can have 90 minutes break while my charge is napping or is at nursery (2x3 hours a week) other days I don't even have time for lunch!

I do use my phone during the day and always have it near me to take photos and videos to send to my MB, DB and my charges grandparents when he does something funny or adorable or amazing and also to be able to message or email MB or reply to her messages, she also likes to FaceTime when she can so I don't want him to miss her call. I send texts and emails if he is playing happily and I'm on top of my jobs. Mainly work related, play, lunch or tea with his friends with a bit of a chat too. But I do also chat with nanny friends, find out what they are doing, getting craft ideas, recipe ideas, planning our next meet up, sending videos from my charge to their charge, which our charges love. I also message non nanny friends about our plans for that evening or weekend or holidays but they are done when he's napping or at school or a very quick reply if it's more important. I don't think telling them to wait a minute is right although sometimes something does require an urgent reply whether work or home related and I would ask him what he needed then ask him to wait a moment if his request was answering another inane a question about fireman Sam or Paw patrol wasn't desperately urgent.

I also do my employers meal plan and Ocado shop for the following week, I have the RecipePad app on my phone and iPad, I add items as I notice we are getting low and do the main shop on Friday lunch time while my charge is napping. Then I'll use my phone to prep the ingredients during the day so they just have to throw it all together in the evening or chuck it all in the slow cooker. Some days I'll use it a lot, others barely at all but never to the detriment of my duties.

I Agree with Audrey, i don't believe the nanny asked for a break every hour and the OP just agreed to it. How would the OP actually be able to focus on her own work as she will have to stop every hour for 15 minutes. Sorry sounds unbelievable.

So clips what are you going to do?

Speak to nanny and say no phone use age in the 45m she works and keep to the 15m break

Or change working hours and do 4.5hrs of solid work and leave nanny alone

Use a different nanny. Intrigued where you found her? An agency? Is she qualified ? Check her refs etc

As I said before this working schedule is not normal for nannies

Harshbuttrue1980

She did mention previously that her ds goes to her mother's on Tuesday and Thursday when she is working.

Then Monday, Wednesday and Friday the "nanny looks after ds for 6 hours on each on those three days with 15 mins break every hour.

OP I think you need to look on childcare app or website for a nanny as I believe she needs to be replaced.

So this Nanny works Monday, Wednesday and Friday for you between the hours of 9am - 3pm...
First, I have to say, I am absolutely amazed that she's had the disrespect to TELL YOU that she wants a break of 15 minutes per hour! Wowsers; I have never been in a job where I've had that privilege😂. That would mean she's working only 75% of the time you employ her and she's finishing at 3pm!
She has ample opportunity to phone people when she's not working, or after 3pm. Certainly, when I was working as a teacher it was very strict policy to never use your phone in lesson time, and to have it on silent. Personally, I enjoyed being away from all the stuff going on at home, and yes, I would phone post lessons. Many people assume teachers 'only' work until three, but in actual fact I'd generally finish at 6-7pm. Weekends meant one entire day marking. But yes, it was the job I chose to do because I love working with challenging teenagers.
I think in all situations where you take on a nanny, a new class, whatever; YOU STIPULATE in writing what your expectations and boundaries are. Make them as clear as can be.
Working those sort of hours, I'd definitely expect her to use her phone in her break. I mean, she can phone back whoever, without neglecting her duties. Have you asked her what she's doing on her phone, Clips?
I'd be inclined to sack the nanny, TBH, finding solid grounds to do so. Then I'd start afresh, but this time I'd have it written in black and white, literally what you expect of her. Her breaktimes are ridiculous, for starters! But you also need to think about any other duties you expect, such as cleaning, cooking, tidying up, input with your children, etc. That way, you wouldn't be having to have so many breaks yourself.
There is a word that comes to mind here that you need to enforce; ASSERTIVENESS.
YABU by not enforcing your wishes.
I'd come and work for you if I had breaks every hour of 15 minutes, worked three days a week, didn't have a mountain of work to take home and worked three days a week. Plus, all my so called 'holidays' that people think I get are used up, lesson planning, making lessons interesting, interactive and engaging. I get so peed off with people assuming that because I'm not at work on my summer break, etc, when I'm actually working at home. I've even had the odd cheeky parent tell me to look after their children "because I'm being paid, but not actually working, so therefore I should look after their children!". Wtf! They get short, sharp shift from me and a big fat "No". No apologies!
I would be expecting your nanny to be a hell of a lot more interactive with your child, by doing some painting, going for a walk, playing games, etc. Now if she were to show you some nice photos of what/where they've been, I'd be ok with that.
This nanny is basically taking the piss!
I'll come and work for you; yes, I can hear all the nannies shouting out saying it's hard work, but TBH, after dealing with back to back lessons of 30+ teenagers every lesson, with a non existent break of fifteen minutes after an hour(dealing with teenagers, then 35 minutes for lunch, finishing at 6-7pm, relatively, it'll be a doddle☺️💤.