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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want the nanny having her phone with her?

314 replies

ClipsAre · 02/12/2016 23:58

I don't mean not physically on her, but her not using it when she is meant to be looking after my child. I often notice her on her phone and DC nudging her and her saying one minute, etc. I work from home, so I tend to see what's going on and if I'm going past I do occasionally mention it but she claims that my DC is happy doing x, y and z so she thought she'd quickly reply to an email/text, etc.

AIBU to think this isn't okay?

OP posts:
HaveNoSocks · 05/12/2016 11:57

bibbitybobbityyhat

Exactly, how is that possibly going to work. "Sorry I can't answer this important phone call because I'm changing a nappy, dealing with a screaming toddler". What on earth are the kids going to do all day when you're sitting at your desk.

There's always someone though that claimed they ran a multinational business, while doing a full time masters and looking after triplets.

HaveNoSocks · 05/12/2016 11:59

In answer to OP's actual question it's difficult. You need to be able to trust your nanny to use her phone sensibly as she would at a different job. i.e. you can send a text, or read the odd email during a quiet moment but not sit for 10 minutes at a time looking at Facebook.

bummymummy77 · 05/12/2016 12:22

Just seen she has hourly breaks?! What the actual fuck??

I used to do up to 18 hour days and not get a break.

I'd think twice about keeping her on to be honest.

sammyjayneex · 05/12/2016 12:45

Bummymummy

Why are you so shocked she gets breaks. Do you know how hard it is looking after a child all day non stop doing household chores especially someone else's child with the mother sat there stalking her every move and then slating her on mumsnet!
What do you expect? For the nanny to be on her feet all day with the children cleaning the house and all the other chores the op expects her to do and not having regular breaks.

noogsy · 05/12/2016 13:04

i think when she is on shift it isnt ok to be on her phone.when i am at work the only time i see my phone is when im sitting on the loo :)

bummymummy77 · 05/12/2016 13:04

I'm yes I was a nanny/maternity nurse for nearly 20 years! Hmm

bummymummy77 · 05/12/2016 13:04

*um yes.

bummymummy77 · 05/12/2016 13:05

I've never heard of any nanny getting that amount of breaks. And to still use her phone when she not on a break???

ArcheryAnnie · 05/12/2016 13:05

I think it's fine for a nanny (or any other worker, although I know it doesn't work like that in many/most other jobs) to look occasionally at their phone. I also think it's important for a nanny (and every other worker) to have regular and proper breaks.

But the thing that stood out for me in the OP's post was that the nanny was prioritising the phone over the child when not on a break. That's not on, and it's reasonable to say to the nanny while she's not on a break (as long as she does HAVE breaks) that she shouldn't be checking her email, etc.

ArcheryAnnie · 05/12/2016 13:12

Have just read back and seen the "fifteen minutes paid break every hour" thing. So her being on the phone at all, ever, in a non-emergency situation in the 45 mins she is actually working is taking the piss. She should put her phone away.

therealpippi · 05/12/2016 13:17

Sammy you must having us all on.

bummymummy77 · 05/12/2016 13:18

Or is a nanny with a bad work ethic! Grin

bummymummy77 · 05/12/2016 13:22

Oh and as well as being a nanny for almost 20 years I also managed two of the largest nanny agencies for a couple of years. So saw a shit ton of nanny/au pair positions and never one with hourly breaks.

I also would have given any of our girls a talking to if they were to tell a child to 'hang on' while their attention was on their phone.

Very unprofessional and just a crappy thing to do as a person too.

ElspethFlashman · 05/12/2016 13:25

15 MIN BREAKS EVERY HOUR??! ShockShockShock

OP, you've been had.

4men1lady · 05/12/2016 13:30

Yeah I agree that the amount of breaks is too much.

I do 13 hour shifts and technically only allowed half and hour at dinner and tea time. We do get 10/15 mins for a quick breakfast though!

Also, yanbu on her using her phone, unless it's an emergency then there's no real reason and her response to you challenging her doesn't sound all that good either. I'd look elsewhere.

Gilly12345 · 05/12/2016 13:41

She should only be using her mobile phone on her breaks as is normal practice in most jobs, you are paying her to look after your child and any other jobs around the home as agreed between you and her, I don't think it is unreasonable for these 'rules' to be enforced.

Xocaraic · 05/12/2016 13:47

Do you provide her with a 'nanny phone' - to use for all emergencies or if you/DH need to call her? That might be the way forward. Like in many other industries no private phone use when on duty/working. I would limit her private phone use to the time when the kids nap and when she is nit 'on duty' No ifs or buts.

Heatherjayne1972 · 05/12/2016 13:47

Im contracted not to use my phone Unless on break/lunch
If school call about my kids they have to phone work on the landline
I thought it was normal in most jobs

cloudchasing · 05/12/2016 13:54

I literally agree with everything expat has said on this thread.

And as for those of you that are complaining that the OP doesn't need a nanny because sometimes she works from home 😂😂 Some of you wouldn't last 5 minutes in the real working world!

LivingOnTheDancefloor · 05/12/2016 14:05

Sammy you are funny.
Bummymummy is not surprised the nanny has breaks, she is surprised the nanny has 15min break every hour. That is 1/4 of the time!!
And as the OP has said multiple times, she is working from home, not "sat there stalking her every move and then slating her on mumsnet". I imagine the OP is having a quick look at what is going on when she gets out of her home office to get a cup of coffee or use the bathroom. I don't see an issue with this.

Iwantamarshmallow · 05/12/2016 14:34

If I was at work and I told a customer to wait one minute while I checked my phone I would be fired .... I think this is unacceptable and yanbu

Cromwell1536 · 05/12/2016 14:35

just reading this now! FrancisCrawford, you have to have the last word don't you...

britam6 · 05/12/2016 14:40

I am a teacher, my children have my undivided attention. For those who think it's Ok, is it also Ok for a teacher to be on their phone when not on a break. A nanny is being paid to pay attention to the child when a parent can't. As long as there is a break, nap time, down time etc, yanbu

Letustryagain · 05/12/2016 14:54

I would say that she can't use it for safeguarding reasons. I work in a school and we're not allowed our phones on at all. Any person looking after children needs to be a bit careful with their phone, to protect themselves aswell as the child (obviously this is relating to the potential to take photos of the child and share them on the internet - not thinking there is a safeguarding issue with making a phone call!! Smile).

Squiffy01 · 05/12/2016 15:15

To all those genuinely saying a nanny should not be on her phone at all during the working day how are they supposed to arrange play dates, trips out with other parents/nannies (the children's friends), check if the forecast has changed, do ocado shop buy presents for b'day parties or clothes if don't have a chance that week to get to shops?
10 hour day children sometimes naps and sometimes don't.
What if you send a message to arrange a play when child sleeps but haven't had a reply when child wakes up? Is it I acceptable to check?

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