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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to not want the nanny having her phone with her?

314 replies

ClipsAre · 02/12/2016 23:58

I don't mean not physically on her, but her not using it when she is meant to be looking after my child. I often notice her on her phone and DC nudging her and her saying one minute, etc. I work from home, so I tend to see what's going on and if I'm going past I do occasionally mention it but she claims that my DC is happy doing x, y and z so she thought she'd quickly reply to an email/text, etc.

AIBU to think this isn't okay?

OP posts:
pipsqueak25 · 03/12/2016 00:11

sadly a lot of people would rather mess about about with their phone than watch their dc, but unless dc are in some sort of potential danger why worry about it ?

Original poster
ClipsAre · 03/12/2016 00:15

Because I'm paying her to look after my child...

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 03/12/2016 00:16

Hmm, tricky. I think this depends on how much and how often. I think it would be unreasonable to expect her never to use her phone during her working day. Certainly in any other job, people use their personal phones briefly throughout the day. Do you feel it's happening too often?

I don't think that it is humanly possible to pay full attention to children for every second of 8 hours a day or whatever you are expecting from her. In normal jobs, people take little breaks to talk to colleagues, look up stuff on the internet etc as well as having proper tea breaks and lunch breaks. Children are so demanding and relentless and exhausting, no one can do a full day without stepping back now and again. And she has no normal interaction with colleagues like most working people do, so is reliant on her phone for contact with adults.

I would cut her some slack unless she is becoming neglectful of the children.

DailyMailSucksAss · 03/12/2016 00:17

Does she need to be 100 per cent focussed on your DC at all times (even when they are otherwise occupied) while they are at home? How long does she nanny for? Do you give regular breaks to allow her to catch up on emails/banking etc?

Notnownornever · 03/12/2016 00:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DailyMailSucksAss · 03/12/2016 00:19

To be honest in my city if you told a nanny not to use her phone at all while with child they'd just leave. Too few nannies and too many parents. If you think she's being unreasonable and you give her regular breaks and reasonable work hours/pay then sure tell her.

Notnownornever · 03/12/2016 00:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

baconandeggies · 03/12/2016 00:22

YANBU. If she worked in a callcentre or in healthcare or in retail even she'd not be allowed to keep checking and using her phone.

Besplendour · 03/12/2016 00:22

I never do so while babysitting, even in the house. It's unfair to the children, apart from anything else, so YANBU at all here.

pipsqueak25 · 03/12/2016 00:23

yes you are paying her to look after your child, agreed but is this a regular thing ? you can remind her it's not on to mess with her phone in your time.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 03/12/2016 00:33

It will do your child no harm to learn that the world doesn't revolve around her, being told to wait a minute is far healthier than having an adults undivided attention 24/7.

sleepwhenidie · 03/12/2016 00:36

That would irritate me too. We have a nanny who is more of a mothers help. I am definitely guilty of spending too much time on my phone and delivering the 'just one minute' line to DC's, nanny however, would never dream of doing the same. She has her phone handy at all times, often takes funny vids/photos of dc's that she shares with me, is always immediately contactable when we aren't in the same place. Not once in six years has she been unecessarily occupied with her phone and if she has had to take a call or check an email it has been exceptional circumstances and she apologised for it. You probably need some kind of agreement re frequency of phone breaks, as you'd have in an office if you went to the loo or popped out?

wishparry · 03/12/2016 00:42

I've had many jobs,and in none of those jobs I was ever allowed to use my phone except for when I was in my break.
you are paying the nanny to look after your ds,so she should be doing this.
she can check her phone when she is on a break.
tell her op,this is not acceptable.

AuntJane · 03/12/2016 00:47

So you are working from hone, and presumably being paid to do so, but are taking time to watch your nanny's interaction with your child? And you're annoyed that you are paying your nanny to look after your child, but she is taking time out to look at her phone?

Yes, I can see the issue here.

JerryFerry · 03/12/2016 00:52

Totally unprofessional of her, would leave me doubting her suitability if she cannot see how wrong it is. Is she qualified and experienced? This would never be allowed in a quality ece centre.

OlennasWimple · 03/12/2016 00:59

Depends how frequently she is doing it, TBH, and if there is something in particular going on in her life at the moment that needs more frequent email checking (sick family member, moving house type thing)

It's all very well saying that in other jobs she would only be able to look at her phone in her break, but in those jobs she would actually get a break, whereas I'm guessing that on a day to day basis she has responsibility for the DC without a lunch hour or even a 15 minute rest break.

RichardBucket · 03/12/2016 01:08

YANBU

People will get defensive over this issue because they're glued to their phones, but it isn't okay and especially not when being paid to do something else.

Atenco · 03/12/2016 01:45

It would depend how much she uses her phone, really.

Out2pasture · 03/12/2016 02:25

children need to learn how to play on their own. so really she should not be interacting with the child every waking moment.
but the child shouldn't see her on the phone quite so much either (as they will quickly want one want to play on one etc.)
you need to find more work for the nanny if she has that much free time.

MatildaTheCat · 03/12/2016 02:44

If she is blatantly doing it in front of you I suspect you are seeing the tip of the iceberg. I would be having a fairly formal discussion about your expectations.

We all know that constantly glancing at your phone and feeling the need to instantly reply to messages is strangely addictive, she needs to be reminded that whilst working you expect her to be using her phone for emergencies only.

Topseyt · 03/12/2016 02:49

I don't use my phone when I am at work. I leave it on silent alert in my bag.

I always feel that I shouldn't use it while someone else is trusting me and paying me to work for them.

I do check it as it is the emergency contact for my daughter's school, but no more than that.

Topseyt · 03/12/2016 02:50

Should be a similar thing for your nanny.

BratFarrarsPony · 03/12/2016 02:57

The only time I use my fone at work is to surreptitiously and quickly check the time when the student is busy doing something, and I think it should be the same with a nanny.

ChipIn · 03/12/2016 03:56

YANBU. We have a nanny and she's allowed her phone around her in case we call or she wants to take photos or videos but we've asked her not to use it for 'fun'. Not all jobs allow people full access to their phones, and this is one of them. As the employer it's your choice how much she uses her phone and if you ask her not to she needs to respect that.

As long as she has the appropriate meal breaks where she can use her phone (e.g. Nap time) she shouldn't need to use it outside of emergency/ taking photos for you.

MarcelineTheVampire · 03/12/2016 04:30

I'm assuming she doesn't get official breaks and therefore, as long as the use is not excessive then YABU.

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