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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to not want the nanny having her phone with her?

314 replies

ClipsAre · 02/12/2016 23:58

I don't mean not physically on her, but her not using it when she is meant to be looking after my child. I often notice her on her phone and DC nudging her and her saying one minute, etc. I work from home, so I tend to see what's going on and if I'm going past I do occasionally mention it but she claims that my DC is happy doing x, y and z so she thought she'd quickly reply to an email/text, etc.

AIBU to think this isn't okay?

OP posts:
WheresTheEvidence · 03/12/2016 19:57

Clips can you tell us what hours your name does? Is she there for a full day but with breaks or 2 mornings?

LIZS · 03/12/2016 19:59

Why does she need hourly breaks? You wouldn't get them in other jobs, presumably you are paying her this time too. How long each day is she working? I think you need to delegate some of the activities otherwise it could be hard all round.

Original poster
ClipsAre · 03/12/2016 20:00

I take my child out? Confused

I work actually at work on Tuesdays and Thursdays when he goes to my mum's to spend time with grandma. Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays she is here to look after him, she arrives at 9 am and leaves at 3 pm but gets 15 mins break after every hour. I take him out at 3 to swimming, baby groups, etc.?? How is he missing out? Confused

OP posts:
5moreminutes · 03/12/2016 20:01

Clips that is a funny nanny arrangement. Is she an aupair or mothers help? A qualified nanny would be overkill if you are in the house and she only works 45 minutes at a time... Tbh my 12 yo could do that she might use her phone trying to persuade the baby to film musically videos though so I'm not recommending her :o

Trifleorbust · 03/12/2016 20:02

He doesn't go anywhere other than to the park until after 3pm. Plenty to be missing out on there. Is it genuinely the nanny's choice or is it yours?

Trifleorbust · 03/12/2016 20:03

And is she actually a qualified nanny?

Original poster
ClipsAre · 03/12/2016 20:05

How is he missing out? What happens to children in nursery? Who are in a room all day? Many don't go out until 3 pm, it is what happens to working parents? There's not a lot I can do

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 03/12/2016 20:07

Yes but he's not in nursery, is he? There are loads of fun things they could be doing. I'm not saying you have to do anything, btw. I'm just a bit bemused by what seems like an unusual arrangement and I am wondering why you are doing it, rather than allowing/encouraging your nanny to take your child to the many things available.

LIZS · 03/12/2016 20:09

Ime most preschool groups are well over by 3 to allow for parents/carers to collect from school. That is when soft play, swimming etc are the most busy, and your dc probably at his least best. Does he nap now? Can you find something for each day she is looking after him ( library rhyme time for example) . She may even feel stifled by your being at home while she is there and appreciate some sense of purpose.

5moreminutes · 03/12/2016 20:10

Clips of course there is a lot you can do.

Send him to a child minder you try list who will take him out and about or employ a nanny you trust not one who needs babysitting herself (or whom you feel you should babysit).

Honestly the 45 minutes thing is an arrangement you'd have with a flakey 14 yo babysitter (and even then it's a bit insulting) not a nanny. No wonder she's bored and not working to her full potential if you're treating her like an unqualified flakey teen helper.

5moreminutes · 03/12/2016 20:11

*trust not try list

Original poster
ClipsAre · 03/12/2016 20:17

She is the one who wants the breaks Confused

OP posts:
WheresTheEvidence · 03/12/2016 20:18

It is a bit of an odd arrangement and it wouldn't be something I could do. I think it would be unsettling for the child if you're just getting into something for mum to come back and nanny disappear and also you would spend some of that time as a nanny reassuring child mummy would come back and trying to distract them from finding the parent.

However if it works it is justifiable for the nanny to just stay at home ; we obviously do things at home so baking, painting, making roads and playing cars etc.

However in a 9-3 day I like to get out; go for a walk, the library, meet friends - I think nanny children especially only children do well socially when they meet up with others. We also do day trips/groups/classes which the child accesses differently with me than they do with their parent.

LIZS · 03/12/2016 20:20

But you are her employer and can stipulate otherwise. Are you expected to pay for this, so out of 6 hours she actually works 4 1/2 hours max ( is lunch break more). Shock

5moreminutes · 03/12/2016 20:20

Has she ever worked as a nanny before or done any kind of training?

Nobody has a 15 minute break every hour and it is very unusual indeed for a qualified or experienced child carer to be so severely limited.

I can only fathom this if your "nanny" is a mother's help or au pair or very young or very inexperienced...

Trifleorbust · 03/12/2016 20:21

So again, you would be happy for her to take him out/have a different working pattern?

And again, is she a qualified nanny?

5moreminutes · 03/12/2016 20:24

Where is the job satisfaction? Does she have no autonomy?

Did you say your DC is talking? So not a newborn?

It doesn't make sense as an arrangement and the carer must be very disengaged...

FrancisCrawford · 03/12/2016 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LIZS · 03/12/2016 20:27

She is actually not entitled to a break unless she works over 6 hours, even then only 20 minutes, and not necessarily paid. Obviously that is the minimum, so you could agree more.
www.gov.uk/rest-breaks-work/overview

Agree she is babysitting not nannying. She has no sole responsibility. If you are paying her a nanny rate you are being taken for a ride, especially if for the full 6 hours. Is the payroll, tax , ni etc properly set up?

Trifleorbust · 03/12/2016 20:31

FrancisCrawford: Your attitude to the other poster using her phone for perfectly valid reasons was definitely nitpicking. I honestly can't see why her looking up a recipe on her phone rather than in a recipe book affects you or why it would by her you on the slightest. Nannying isn't like most jobs - you're standing in for the parent, and parents use their phones all the time for various reasons.

Trifleorbust · 03/12/2016 20:32

*bother

maddiemookins16mum · 03/12/2016 20:35

OK, as an ex Nanny, (albeit a while ago), I would never do this. I'm at work, so not obviously spending every SINGLE second interacting (in reality, who does), but not playing on my phone. I would be tidying, prepping stuff (lunch), sorting clothes etc. It sounds to me that Nanny is bored (I've been there with one child).

Original poster
ClipsAre · 03/12/2016 20:36

She gets £72 for the 9-3

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 03/12/2016 20:39

So you're paying a fair whack but giving her a bonkers amount of time to herself in the day. Why haven't you considered hiring someone who will do a proper job?

Original poster
ClipsAre · 03/12/2016 20:42

I honestly don't know where to look! She was advertising on a local shop board.

OP posts:
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